Oooh, nuance!

(H/T to Garychapelhill for the title)

THE SCENE: President Barack Obama's Oval Office. A wall with a computerized panel and a door occupies center stage left, and the office occupies the remainder of the stage.

The decor of the office has totally changed. The drapes around the room are now printed with the Obama faux-presidential seal. Everywhere are pictures of President Obama, looking saintly and generous. There is also a picture of Michelle and the kids, but it is much smaller and less prominently placed. The American Flag has been redesigned; in the center of the field where the stars were is now a picture of Our Dear Leader.

The man himself sits behind the desk in the Oval Office, garbed in spotless white robes. Above his head, a sign reads "President Barack Obama" in large, elegant letters. He is in deep meditation, or perhaps, is sleeping off the effects of too much "holy water" the night before.

BILL BURTON, Barack Obama's now Chief of Staff, appears at the door. The door speaks in a pleasant, female, robotic voice.

DOOR: Please enter your permanent password.

(BURTON enters a few numbers on the keypad.)

DOOR: Please speak your name.

BURTON: William Burton.

DOOR: Voiceprint authorized. Please state today's password.

BURTON: Ummmmm...Obama is the greatest president that was, is, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen?

DOOR: Password expired. Please state today's password.

BURTON: Ummmmm...(pulls out an iPhone, checks it, smiles) All hail Barack Obama, President Extraordinaire and really awesomely cool dude?

DOOR: Password accepted. (BURTON enters the Oval Office. OBAMA opens his eyes calmly.)

OBAMA: Good morning, Bill.

BURTON: Morning, Mr. President!

OBAMA: Please, sit down. (BURTON does so.) Now, what's on your mind, Bill?

BURTON: Well, it's this "New Racism Handbook" we published last week. Even though our NBC affiliates are over the moon about it, I've been hearing a lot of complaints in the (using air quotes) "blogosphere."

OBAMA (frowning): Really? I thought those guys loved me.

BURTON: Oh, most of them do, sir! But some of them are saying that 10,000 forbidden words are too hard to remember. Words like "arrogant" and "presumptuous" are easy, but some of the scientists are protesting about changing the term "black hole" to "lightwardly challenged hole." And making public racism a crime! They are really not on board with that one.

OBAMA (smiling): Oh, that's okay, Bill. Let me tell you a bit more about my master plan. (getting up and striding commandingly around the room) You see, I wanted to take the troops out of Iraq and transfer them directly to Afghanistan to continue fighting there. But, it turns out, they're already so exhausted from their fourth and fifth tours, they were useless to us. Our mission in Afghanistan, whatever it is, cannot succeed this way. We need more bodies, but Blackwater keeps raising its prices. It's a tough situation.

BURTON: Sounds tough, Mr. President!

OBAMA: So, here's what I'm thinking: No one can possibly remember all 10,000 words. We'll use the warrantless wiretapping George and Dick set up to spy on people and catch them for the crime of public racism. Then, I'll offer them a choice: do prison time, or join the Army. We'll be up to quota in no time, and we can keep sending soldiers over to Afghanistan for 8-10 years, or whenever our mission is completed, whichever comes first! And best of all, no draft! (OBAMA smiles triumphantly, waiting for BURTON's praise)

BURTON (a little late): That's brilliant, Mr. President!

OBAMA: Isn't it? It was all my idea, of course. Now, why don't you go work with Axelrod and Plouffe today. They're hiring a bunch of racism-spotters, and they could use some help.

BURTON: Yessir, Mr. President! (bustles off importantly)

(From behind a curtain, NANCY PELOSI, HOWARD DEAN and DONNA BRAZILE step forward.)

PELOSI: Oh, Barack. You told him this was your idea?

(OBAMA sits down, a bit petulantly.)

OBAMA: Well, shit, Nancy, I can't let my people know you guys are telling me what to do. They believe in me! I am The One!

BRAZILE (soothingly): Of course you are, Barack honey. You just keep doing what you're doing.

DEAN: That's right, Barack. Everything's going exactly the way we planned it.

(Suddenly, the scene dissolves. We see HILLARY and BILL CLINTON in their bedroom in New York. It's decorated in traditional American style, with rich colors and fabrics. HILLARY is sitting up in bed, terrified and breathing hard. She is wearing silk pajamas. BILL is wearing a matching pair of pajamas. He stirs awake.)

BILL: Hillary - what's the matter?

HILLARY: Oh, Bill - I had the most awful dream!

BILL (sighing): President Obama again?

HILLARY: Bill, this one was really terrible. It was about -

BILL (impatiently): Honey, if you're ever going to get a good night's sleep again, you know what you have to do.

HILLARY (coming to a decision): Dammit Bill, you're right. I'm putting my name in nomination at the Convention. Screw the Party and screw their staged withdrawal. I'm in it to win it!

BILL: Attagirl! (They hug.) Now, about my Supreme Court nomination...

(HILLARY laughs her trademark belly laugh.

LIGHTS OUT.)

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Original photo at Chilean Fauna

A couple of very interesting polls have come out recently. One shows Barack Obama leading John McCain nationally, and another shows John McCain leading Barack Obama nationally. The difference between these polls? Likely Voters versus Registered Voters.

Obama was ahead 47%-44% among registered voters, down from a 6-percentage point lead he had last month. McCain led 49%-45% among likely voters, reversing a 5-point Obama lead among that group. In both cases, the margin of error is +/—4 points.

What's going on? Here is how USA Today explains the methodology behind their polling.

To determine whether they were likely voters, poll participants were asked how much thought they had given the election, how often they voted in the past and whether they plan to vote this fall. McCain's gains came because there was an even number of likely voters from each party. Last month, the Democrats had an 11-point edge. (emphasis added)

Now, there are two ways to look at that astonishing fact. One is that Republicans are starting to energize against Barack Obama. This is, of course, the way that USA Today interprets it.

The other is that Democrats are losing interest in Barack Obama and are planning on either voting down-ticket, staying home, or using the nuclear option (literally?) by voting for John McCain. This is the way I interpret it. I mean, gee whiz, doesn't that huge drop in support for Obama (11 points in one month) coincide quite interestingly with the formation of a certain group comprised of Democrats who don't support Obama? Golly, if only I could remember the name of that combine of crazy old ladies...

Never mind, it'll come to me. Meanwhile, let's read more of USA Today's interpretation of Obama's hemorrhaging of support within his own Party.

Nearly two months after the Democrats' pitched primary battle ended, more Republicans than Democrats say they are "giving quite a lot of thought" to the election. Backlash to Obama's trip, fueled by McCain's criticism, also boosts GOP engagement. Six in 10 Republicans said news media coverage of Obama's trip was "unfairly positive."

Aha! Only NOW are Republicans giving "quite a lot of thought" to the election! Before now, they weren't paying any attention whatsoever. And what a surprise - Republicans think the media favors Democrats. Oooooh. Shocker!

Has USA Today ever spoken to Republicans before? Newsflash: They always pay attention to Presidential elections; and they've been flogging the "liberal media" canard for decades. (In this case, it happens to be true that the media is pushing Obama, but that matters not. They would have said the same thing regardless.)

Sorry, darlings, it's not about the Republicans. It's about the Democrats and their desire to remake the Democratic Party without the Clintons. Bill and Hillary, what with their success and popularity and intelligence, really must make those liberal elitist Party Leaders feel as weak and inadequate as all get-out. What other reason could there be for this bizarre election strategy?

It's certainly not some quest for ideological purity. That notion is laughable. Obama's disgraceful vote for telecom/BushCheney immunity (otherwise known as the FISA bill) showed that he is nothing but a tool of the big corporations, especially AT&T, which has now been kind enough to sponsor the Democratic Convention. Good thing too, because I don't know how they were going to pay for it otherwise! (What? I'm sure there was no quid pro quo there whatsoever.)

A painfully ironic twist to this whole mess is that "evil corporate whore Hillary" voted AGAINST immunity. It didn't surprise those of us who actually know her record of keeping her promises, but it sure showed a lot of Obama supporters that the Senator from Illinois is "not the man they thought they knew."

And that is the weakness of Obama as a candidate. No one knows what he's going to do, and when he does do something, the base doesn't like it. As reflected in the USA Today story, that trip to Europe and Iraq didn't do him any favors here in America, where we actually vote and stuff. (Only 35% saw Senator Obama's "Look at Me, I'm Presidenting!" trip in a positive light.)

This is a major gamble by the Democrats. Can they win without Clinton's voters, who tend to have a long history of voting Democratic, as well as volunteering for, and donating to, Democratic candidates? Can they create enough LV's to counteract the loss of RV's, many of whom have become PUMAs in protest of this strategy?

In my opinion, their proposition is a losing one. If the Democrats want to win in November, they will have to get over their childish, vindictive hatred of Bill and Hillary Clinton and nominate Hillary at the Convention.

The alternative? Well, Nancy, Harry, Howard and Donna, what happens when you give a party and nobody comes?

PUMA!

Cross-posted at The Confluence

You know the most horrible, Orwellian and frustrating thing about Barack Obama's campaign?

He keeps doing things that are absolutely unprecedented and should induce whiplash in the corporate media, but they seem to pass totally unremarked. Things like removing his name from a state ballot, then claiming votes and delegates from that state (even stealing four of Hillary's delegates!); claiming that he clinched the nomination, when he didn't (he needed 2109 pledged delegates and didn't get them); becoming One with the DNC; moving DNC Headquarters to Chicago; taking a giant media entourage on his SO NOT POLITICAL faux-Presidential trip to Europe and Iraq; and so on and so on. No presumptive nominee has ever done any of these things. IOKIYO!

I've been waiting for a few days for someone to notice this little story in Politico, but so far, it seems to be slipping under the radar. So, for your hair-tearing pleasure, I give you:

The Price for Obama Tickets is Activism

The crowd enveloping Barack Obama when he accepts the Democratic nomination for president at Invesco Field at Mile High will be asked to get to work for the privilege of witnessing the historic event live.

In a half-hour interview Wednesday with The Denver Post, Obama's deputy campaign manager, Steve Hildebrand, said he wants to use the ticketing process as a massive recruitment tool meant to bring in supporters from all 50 states and energize them to carry the campaign into the final 60 days of the general election.

"We're going to ask those 80,000 people in that stadium to march out of there and go with very specific instructions and goals to register millions of new voters," Hildebrand said.

The campaign announced July 7 that it would hold the final night of the Aug. 25-28 convention at Invesco Field and open Obama's acceptance speech to thousands of spectators. Official details of the so-called community credential process are expected early next week, the campaign said.

By seating the 6,000 delegates down on the field normally defended by the Denver Broncos, and by keeping the number of journalists, technicians and VIPs at the same level as those attending the Pepsi Center events earlier in the week, the campaign could bring in more than 60,000 members of the public, Hildebrand said.

[snip]

Hildebrand said that to ensure that the campaign fills the stadium, the application process becomes in and of itself a recruiting tool.

"Every single person is going to be a level of seriousness," Hildebrand said. "You know, 'Tell us how you're going to get there from Maine. Tell us how you're going to get there from Florida. Give us a sense of whether or not you're really serious about this. If you're not, we're going to provide someone else with this.' "

Those who want a seat will begin the process at their local Democratic Party office. While demonstrating their ability to attend, they also will be encouraged to sign on to the campaign as volunteers.

"They fill out a form; there's a conversation," Hildebrand said. "We ask them and encourage them to register voters and to get out the vote and those activities that are important to us. It's not a requirement, but it's going to be an encouragement."

Another use of the Aug. 28 speech meant to leverage public support is to use a technique popular with the campaign to hand out names and phone numbers during its events and ask participants to use their cellphones to make get-out-the-vote calls.

If the Obama campaign has its way, there will not be one single solitary Hillary supporter in that entire stadium. Yet she has not conceded, has not released her delegates and could conceivably still win the nomination.

This is the creepiest, most underhanded, most cultish campaign I have ever seen. While the Obamanation becomes more and more suppressive and anti-democratic, the corporate media yawns and blabbers about whether or not he's patriotic enough. Um, who cares? George W. Bush was seen as patriotic, wasn't he?

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare.

THE SCENE: BILL BURTON, Barack Obama's campaign manager, is sitting behind a large chrome and glass desk in a well-appointed, modern office. A large, sleek metal box with two buttons rests on top of the desk. One button is red, and reads "Verbiage;" the other is green, and reads "Statistics."

There is a computer (the latest Mac, of course) and a printer on the side of the desk. His iPhone is lying on the desk: Bill is [duh!] too hip for a landline. Besides which, he doesn't want AT&T spying on HIM!

In front of the desk is DAVID AXELROD, Barack Obama's right-hand man. They are sipping cups of coffee and finishing up croissants. AXELROD also has an iPhone in his hand, from which he will read the action items for the meeting.]

BURTON: Ah! The almond croissant was particularly moist today. So, David, what's on the agenda?

AXELROD: Okay, Bill, we've got several things that need our immediate attention. First off, as you know, President Obama's foreign-policy experience has now been brought up to parity with John McCain's after his week-long tour of Europe and the Middle East. So we're all good there. However, we estimated that a million people would attend his speech in Berlin, and even with two free concerts thrown in, we were nowhere near that number. Can we figure out how many people attended?

BURTON: No problemo! [addressing the box on his desk] Computer, how many people attended the Berlin rally?

COMPUTER [in sultry female voice]: Please press the green button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: Two hundred thousand.

AXELROD: Great, great. I'll send it out now. [notates the number in his iPhone and quickly sends it off to his press mailing list] Okay, next item is: The President skipped a visit to the troops while in Berlin because the Pentagon wouldn't allow him to bring in his cameras. How do we make it clear that President Obama does not, in fact, think of the troops as just a campaign prop?

BURTON [drawing in his breath]: Oooooh, that's a tough one. Let's see what our girl can come up with. Computer, what is the reason for Obama's skipping his visit to the troops?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: I.A.C.F.

AXELROD [confused]: IACF?

BURTON [embarrassed at the faux pas]: Um, that stands for "It's All Clinton's Fault." I keep telling her that is no longer an acceptable response, but she keeps defaulting to it - I don't know why. [addressing computer] Computer, please give alternate reason.

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your alternate reason is: George W. Bush.

AXELROD: George W. Bush? What does she mean by that?

BURTON [nervously]: Search me. [both think for a moment]

AXELROD: Wait, wait! I've got it! We'll say the Pentagon stopped him from going. They were worried that it would look like a campaign visit. Brilliant, Bill! Gotta love that machine. [BURTON is visibly relieved. AXELROD dashes off another communique to the press corpse.] All right all right all right! Now, how about this one? People are raising the issue that President Obama's senior thesis is nowhere to be found.

BURTON: Heh. Thank goodness.

AXELROD: Yeah. So anyway, since Hillary's thesis was thoroughly reviewed and dissected in the media, why haven't we released Barack's?

BURTON: Wow. That IS a stumper! Computer, why haven't we released President Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Your question contains a logical fallacy. Please rephrase.

BURTON [rolling his eyes]: Fine, fine. [to AXELROD] She can't handle it when I say "President Obama." So literal-minded! [re-addressing computer] Computer, why haven't we released Senator Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: "The absurdity of spending any time discussing this issue on television at all makes it difficult to even respond to what you’ve done. Even presenting a balanced argument of what is such a specious story does not do justice to the ridiculousness of giving this any oxygen whatsoever."

[slight pause]

AXELROD: Well, it's a bit wordy, but I think it's the right tone. Great job again, Bill! Off it goes to my press contacts. [AXELROD works his iPhone.]

BURTON [looking at his iPhone]: So, David, is that about it? You know I have to bring the President his waffles.

AXELROD: Oh, just one more thing. Can that model do predictions?

BURTON [doubtfully]: Well, we did install a new module last week, but it's more of a "Magic Eight Ball" than a real analyzer.

AXELROD: Ahhhh, so what? Let's try her out. We may get something we like.

BURTON: Okey-dokey. What do you want me to ask her?

AXELROD: Ask her to predict the results of the November election. Who will become our next President? [snickering] As if we didn't know the answer to that.

BURTON [snickering]: Yeah! That's a good one, Davey. Let's have a little fun. Computer, who will become our next President?

COMPUTER: Please rotate me three times. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

BURTON: What? There must be some kind of malfunction. [starts hitting the side of the box]

COMPUTER: Barack Obama's campaign will self-destruct in thirty days.

AXELROD: What the hell is that bitch talking about? [crosses to desk and starts hitting the other side of the box]

COMPUTER: Party Unity, My Ass. PUMA. PUMA. PUMA! [COMPUTER explodes with a giant BANG! and a large puff of smoke.]

[After the smoke clears, BURTON and AXELROD have dirty faces, electric-shock hair, and exasperated expressions.]

AXELROD: Fifth one this month.

BURTON: Yup. Maybe we need a stronger anti-PUMA program. The PUMA virus keeps infecting all our bots.

AXELROD: Well, work on it, will ya? This is getting ridiculous. [begins walking out]

BURTON: Hey, Dave?

AXELROD: Yes, Bill?

BURTON: What if PUMA is the anti-virus, not the virus? What if we are the infection, and the Democratic body keeps rejecting us?

[brief pause]

AXELROD [menacingly]: Bill, you want my advice? Stop thinking so hard, or you'll end up going the way of your computer there.

BURTON [cowed]: Yessir. No problem. I was just -

AXELROD: I know what you were doing. Now, put your happy face on and go get the President his breakfast.

BURTON: Right away, sir. [involuntarily bursting out] PUMA!

AXELROD: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BURTON [sheepishly]: Sorry, Dave. It's catching!

[LIGHTS OUT.]

THE SCENE: NANCY PELOSI's office. Like her home, it is tastefully furnished in pastels. Comfy chairs are placed strategically around her desk. PELOSI is sitting behind it, looking at her computer screen and humming slightly.

A knock is heard at the door.

PELOSI: Come in!

[HOWARD DEAN, HARRY REID and DONNA BRAZILE enter.]

PELOSI [smiling]: Hi, everyone! How's everything going? Is all well with Obama for America?

DEAN: Oh, absolutely, Nancy! That trip to Europe and the Middle East has the media creaming its collective pants.

BRAZILE: Oh, HELL yeah. Man, you should see the photo-ops our future President has been getting!

REID [muttering]: Yeah - too bad we can't tape his mouth shut.

PELOSI [sweetly]: What was that, Harry dear?

REID [sighing]: Nothing, Nancy. Anyway, the reason we're here -

PELOSI: Let me guess - PUMA?

[ALL FOUR SIGH SIMULTANEOUSLY. REID, DEAN AND BRAZILE sit down dispiritedly.]

DEAN: Nancy, we just don't know what to do.

BRAZILE: We've tried telling them we don't need them and to get over it -

REID: We've tried ignoring them -

DEAN: Nothing is working! They STILL say they won't vote for President Obama!

PELOSI [soothingly]: Now, now, everyone calm down. All they're looking for is a little reassurance that we respect and honor them. [rising] No offense, but I think what you need is a more motherly approach.

BRAZILE: I KNEW we came to the right place! Harry, I can't believe you didn't want to ask her.

REID [exasperated]: Jesus, Donna! The important thing is, we're here now. So, Nancy, what do you suggest?

PELOSI [sitting back down behind her desk]: Come back in 15 minutes. I promise you won't be disappointed. [PELOSI, BRAZILE AND REID file out of the office.]

[FIFTEEN MINUTES PASS. Another knock at the door.]

PELOSI: Come in, everyone!

[BRAZILE, DEAN AND REID come in and sit down expectantly.]

DEAN: Well, Nancy, what have you got for us?

PELOSI: Check it out! [rising, clearing her throat, pacing while reading]

"Dearest PUMAs,

Please do not worry about a thing. All your concerns will be addressed once President Obama has taken office. You should emulate that paragon of patriotism, Britney Spears, and just trust us with the future of your country. After all, we have done such a great job with our majority since 2006!

As for the Vice Presidentship, that is President Obama's decision, not yours. I hate to be stern with you, because we really value your unquestioning support, but you realize that we are in charge and not you, don't you? I mean, it's not like it would really matter anyway. Hillary is yesterday's news. We are moving forward into a new, post-partisan, unicorn-filled future with our young, handsome, charming rockstar candidate!

So why don't you all just give up and let us do whatever we want? Resistance is futile, and you will be assimilated.

Love and kisses,

Grandma Pelosi"

[PELOSI stops, and waits expectantly. DEAN, BRAZILE and REID sit in stunned silence. Then, happy, relieved smiles break over their faces.]

BRAZILE: Damn, Nancy, that was fantastic!

DEAN: Wow. Great, great job, Madame Speaker. The iron fist in the velvet glove.

REID: Yeah - even I've gotta admit, that was a stellar performance. Brava!

PELOSI [preening]: Well, this oughta fix their wagon. Nothing can stop Obama now!

[ALL FOUR LAUGH. The Princess phone on PELOSI's desk rings.]

PELOSI: Hello? Oh, Hillary, is that you? [EVERYONE stops laughing.] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-HUH. Well...um...of course that's your decision...uh...yes, yes, of course. I understand. [PELOSI hangs up the phone, shell-shocked.]

[brief pause while EVERYONE looks at PELOSI.]

REID [who can't take the tension any more]: Damnit, Nancy! What happened!

PELOSI: Well, um...it appears that Hillary has been getting an earful from her supporters. She has decided to place her name in nomination at the Convention, so that means...she could actually win instead of Barack.

[EVERYONE is mute with consternation.]

BRAZILE [breaking the silence]: Well, well, well. Looks like it's gonna be a very interesting summer.

[LIGHTS OUT]

By now, you may have seen this absolutely wince-worthy effort by the DNC's Don Fowler and Alice Germond to get us PUMAs to fall in line and support the presumptuous nominee.

Here are some of my favorite parts:

I must confess a bit of fatigue and irritation with people who continue to carp, complain, and criticize the results of the primary and lay down conditions for their support.

Aw, sweetie, are our petty little concerns about the Obama/DNC Conglomerate rigging our primary election making you feel periodically down? It's hard to imagine why Democrats would care about a fair and honest election, isn't it? Poor thing. Do you need a Motrin?

While that last bit is hilarious in its petulance, this part is just irredeemably stupid.

The Los Angeles Lakers didn't establish conditions to recognize the Boston Celtics as NBA Champions; Roger Federer did not demand concessions before recognizing that Rafael Nadal defeated him at Wimbledon.

Well, did the referees throw the games for those teams, or did they win according to the rules, honestly and fairly? Last time I checked, the Celtics didn't have to steal points from the Lakers and claim 20 of their baskets "didn't count" in order to become NBA Champs.

Jesus Christ, how willfully ignorant are these people?

It doesn't take long for the claws to come out. Man, that must be one raging case of EDS (Electoral Dysfunction Syndrome)! Maybe some dark chocolate and a "Sex In the City" marathon would help?

It is time to act in a mature and resourceful fashion. It's time to put the primaries behind us.

That's right, we are immature and bitter and just need to GET OVER IT! Talk to the hands, you annoying PUMAs!

And now, for the pièce de résistance:

It's time to support Barack Obama without conditions or demands.

Excuse me? This is not laughable, it's downright scary. Do we ever support any politician without conditions or demands in this country? Does Barack Obama want to be a king or a president? What about the words "public servant" does he and his enablers misunderstand?

Look, it's very simple. Neither Obama nor Clinton has won the nomination until August 28th. Clinton has suspended her campaign, and has not conceded. She has not released her delegates, so they are free to vote for her at the Convention. Let that happen, and accept the consequences of that vote, or the nominee will be selected, not elected.

If you want something from your voters, you don't order them to do it. You ask them, and you recognize when they have legitimate grievances. Otherwise, you will lose them forever.

Are you listening, Party Leaders?

You are in danger of permanently alienating 18 million Democratic voters for the sake of an illegitimate, unqualified and unelectable nominee.

I don't know what it will take to get this message across before the Convention, but judging from the flop sweat beginning to emanate from the DNC, we are starting to make headway. Keep it up, PUMAs everywhere!

Get involved here.

Check out the latest ad from The Denver Group here.

Listen to PUMAs on No We Won't Radio here.

Party Unity, My Ass!

[THE SCENE: A theatre with a long runway extending from the stage area. Seated beside the runway in three directors' chairs are BARACK OBAMA, MICHELLE OBAMA and DAVID AXELROD, Obama's right-hand man. On the proscenium arch above the stage, a sign reads: "Election Runway - You're Either In, or You're Out!" Written below it are the words, "DEMOCRATS ENTER HERE."

DEMOCRATIC VOTERS enter through the stage curtains and wander onto the runway, a veritable Rainbow Coalition of races, ages, etc. Whenever a single voter is intended to represent a group of people, that voter will have a sign or a label indicating as much. All are chattering excitedly.]

YOUNG VOTER #1: OMG, I am like so excited about this election! I can't believe we get to choose among so many great candidates. Finally, good-bye to Bush and those horrible Republicans!

MIDDLE-AGED VOTER #2: Yeah. God, the Republicans suck. Some of them actually said they didn't believe in evolution? What century are they living in?

[ALL THE VOTERS LAUGH DERISIVELY.]

OLDER VOTER #3: Look at us. We represent the best of this country. We've got a woman, an African American AND a Hispanic! Those Republicans are so boring. Nothing but white men as far as the eye can see!

[AXELROD clears his throat.]

AXELROD: Okay, people, let's get this show on the road!

VOTERS [muttering to themselves]: Who's that guy? What's going on? Where are the other candidates?

OBAMA [clapping his hands together]: People, please! Can we have a little quiet so we can start the show?

[THE VOTERS quiet down, but look confused. A woman raises her hand.]

WOMAN: Uh, Senator Obama? Where are the other candidates? I thought this was Election Runway!

[While the voters and the judges talk, HOWARD DEAN enters through the stage curtains and switches the sign from "Election Runway" to "Obama's Runway." He then bows and exits the same way he came.]

MICHELLE [smiling]: Tell 'em, Barack.

OBAMA: Democratic Voters, this - is Obama's Runway! As you know, in politics, one day you're in - and the next day, you're out!

[THE VOTERS mutter amongst themselves.]

VOTER #1: Wait a minute. I don't get it. I signed up for Election Runway. Is this a different show?

AXELROD [snickering]: Yeah, we just said that so you'd all show up. Fact is, this show is about US choosing YOU. [As Axelrod speaks, DONNA BRAZILE slinks in through the stage curtains. She has a big label on the lapel of her suit which reads "BOUNCER."]

OBAMA: All right, folks, let's get started. Let's see. David, who are our contestants this time?

AXELROD: First up: rural voters. What have you got to say for yourselves? You voted for Hillary in the primaries. What makes you think you deserve to be part of Obama for America?

RURAL VOTER #1: Obama for America? I thought this show was for Democrats! I don't know what Obama for America means. [The other rural voters nod and loudly agree.]

OBAMA: I'm sorry, rural voters. You don't belong with Obama for America. You're out. Auf wiedersehn! [BRAZILE steps forward and ushers them off the stage.]

AXELROD: Next up: the voters of Michigan and Florida. Listen, people, we'd really like to include you, but as you know, your elections were illegitimate, so -

FLORIDA VOTER [interrupting]: Now wait just a damn minute. It's not our fault our legislature monkeyed with our primary dates. Why are you blaming us?

MICHIGAN VOTER: Yeah! And Senator Obama, why did you and John Edwards remove yourselves from the ballot in my state? You really messed things up for us out here with that "Uncommitted" nonsense.

BLOGGER: And what about the other states that moved their primaries? Why weren't they penalized like Michigan and Florida? Could it be because you thought Obama would win them?

BRAZILE [stepping forward]: What the hell are these people talking about? Who do they think they are? We make the rules here - did you not see that my committee is called the RULES Committee? Sheesh! Just face it, you're not getting into Obama for America. You don't deserve it because you preferred that pandering triangulator to my guy. You're out! Auf freaking wiedersehn! Howard, give me a hand here!

[HOWARD DEAN comes back in and he and BRAZILE usher the Michigan and Florida voters and the inconvenient blogger out. HOWARD DEAN disappears again behind the curtain.]

OBAMA: This stage is looking better and better. Now, how about African-American voters? What do they have to say for themselves! [aside] As if I didn't know the answer to THAT one.

AA VOTER #1: We are behind you 93 percent!

AA VOTER #2: We love you, Barack!

AXELROD [satisfied]: Well, I think they're in, don't you, Michelle?

MICHELLE: Oh, absoLUTEly. You all are privileged to join Obama for America! Don't mind Barack's lectures on how you need to take more personal responsibility and all that crap. You know liberal white folks eat that shit up. Am I right? Anyway, you're in. You can go stand over there.

[BRAZILE, smiling, ushers them over to a spot on the other side of the runway. A sign hangs over it reading "Obama for America. Yes, We Can!"]

OBAMA [rubbing his hands]: Okay, we're really making progress now. Hey, what about this group - the, um, blogosphere?

AXELROD: Oh, they're definitely in - all except those bitter, delusional, racist, menopausal PUMAs. Go take your places, folks, you earned it!

[Two BLOGGERS go over to the Obama for America sign and stand next to the AA voters].

[A female Clinton voter steps forward.]

CLINTON VOTER: Excuse me, but this is crazy. Are you saying that you don't want us Democrats in the Democratic coalition? You don't want us to vote for you? You don't care if we stay home or vote for McCain in protest?

OBAMA [smiling]: You got it, sweetie! You're out. Auf wiedersehn!

[BRAZILE tries to usher the CLINTON VOTER out.]

CLINTON VOTER: Don't worry, Donna, I'll see MYSELF out - and I'll take my friends with me. [she stalks off the stage, taking all but two voters with her.]

AXELROD AND MICHELLE: Finally! [The bloggers in the Obama for America area cheer exuberantly.]

OBAMA [looking quizzically at the two voters left]: So, uh - who are you two?

NEW VOTER: I'm a new voter! A lot of my friends said they were coming, but they decided to buy the new iPhone instead. Oh well!

WEALTHY LIBERAL: I'm a, well, how do I put this without offending you poor people?

AXELROD: Hahahahaha! We know who you are. Okay, you and New Voter there, you are in. Welcome to Obama for America! [BRAZILE ushers them over to the Obama for America space. There are only six people there - NEW VOTER, TWO AA VOTERS, TWO BLOGGERS and ONE WEALTHY LIBERAL.]

[Awkward silence, as the successful contestants and the judges evaluate each other.]

MICHELLE [a little uncomfortable, aside]: Um, Barack, I thought you said there'd be a lot more of them.

OBAMA: [aside] Don't worry, Michelle. The rest of them will come around before Election Day. After all, who's gonna vote for that assclown McCain? Those polls are a bunch of bull. [Aloud] Congratulations, everyone! You are now part of the New Democratic Coalition. You are the ones you've been waiting for!

NEW VOTER: Omigod, I've never won anything before! I'm so excited! I'll bet we win a full withdrawal from Iraq!

AA VOTER: You think so? That would be fantastic! I hope it's universal health care. I'm a working mother and I sure could use it.

WEALTHY LIBERAL: Oooh, is it a serious commitment to countering the effects of climate change? I am really looking forward to that!

BLOGGER: I can't WAIT to get our Constitution back. I'll bet we're going to get a filibuster of that stupid FISA bill! No more spying on Americans!

[They all start talking at once. Unnoticed, OBAMA, MICHELLE, AXELROD and BRAZILE shrug, and start walking out a side door.]

BRAZILE: Jeez. What a bunch of whiners. If they wanted all that stuff, they should have voted for Kucinich, Edwards, or God forbid, Hillary.

AXELROD: Really. I mean, Barack might have promised some of those things, but those people should have known they were just best-case scenarios. Who keeps campaign promises anyway? Why don't they just ask for a pony or something?

OBAMA: I sure hope they don't think it's my job to do what THEY want. I don't even let the Party Leaders tell me what to do!

MICHELLE: Hey Barack? What exactly ARE you planning to do once you get into the Oval Office?

[All judges stop their exits. Brief pause while all look at Obama. He is stumped for a second, then grins.]

OBAMA: No one knows! That's the beauty of how David has run my campaign. All things to all people!

AXELROD: You got it, Barack. Let's hope those contestants over there don't figure it out before the election, though.

BRAZILE: You said it. Let's get out of here, people! [EXEUNT ALL JUDGES.]

[LIGHTS OUT]

I am now counting Craig Crawford as a PUMA, just because he tells the truth about Obama's presumptuous nominee status and how very shaky it is. (Yes, the truth is out there, but so few "journalists" see fit to write about it!)

With the dust settled on the primary season, one thing is clear: Obama is the presumed nominee thanks only to superdelegates. He never did win enough pledged delegates to reach the winning number, falling about 350 votes short. His expected victory stems from beating Clinton among superdelegates 463-257, according to a tally on Real Clear Politics.

All the more reason for Obama to make sure that there is no roll call including Clinton's name on the ballot at the national convention -- which a few die hard fans of the former First Lady are still clamoring for.

This is my only quibble with Crawford's otherwise excellent piece: to call millions of people "a few die hard fans" is award-worthy spin. Otherwise, it's a great point, and I don't think many people realize that Obama's DNC is trying to prevent Hillary from taking her rightful place on the ballot at the Convention. This would be ridiculous and completely against Democratic Party tradition and rules. THIS IS A TIE, FOLKS. I've been saying that since February. If there is a fair fight to break the tie at the Convention, and Obama wins anyway, then that will go a long way towards dispelling the illegitimacy that surrounds Obama's current status as presumptive nominee. Who knows, it might even give PUMAs a reason to vote for him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Crawford; please continue.

Why highlight just how close the Democratic contest really was? And there is certainly no gain for Obama in dwelling on how he had to depend on superdelegates to win the nomination. [emphasis mine]

Why no, Mr. Crawford, there isn't, especially when one remembers that until it was clear that Hillary was going to win the popular vote DESPITE the DNC's shenanigans in Florida and Michigan, Obama and his surrogates were all screaming about how the SuperDelegates should not decide the nomination and the "will of the people" should rule.

Remember this gem, during Obama's peak in February, from Donna Brazile, "uncommitted" superdelegate?

Democratic strategist Donna Brazile — who managed Al Gore's 2000 presidential campaign and is herself a superdelegate — says she will quit her position within the Democratic Party if her superdelegate colleagues decide the party's nomination.

[snip]

As Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama continue to run neck-and-neck in amassing the total delegates needed to win the nomination, some have suggested that the party's superdelegates — comprising party activists and high-ranking officials — could make the deciding vote.

But Brazile says the superdelegate vote "should reflect the will of the people."

Many millions of Hillary supporters have breathlessly awaited Brazile's resignation, to no avail. Oh, Donna, Donna, why do you disappoint us so? And as for the "will of the people," well, that meme has quietly disappeared too, considering that many of Obama's most powerful SuperD's would have to don their capes and fly on over to Hillary's side. Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, all of the New York SD's...need I go on?

Doesn't matter, I will anyway. Let's see if I can find anything else from the Obama camp about how the superdelegates should vote as their districts voted. Be right back, or brb, as the kids say on their IM chatty thingies.

Aha! Here's a good one. Looks like Moveon.org, which threw its muscle behind Obama very early in the primaries, used its political power to pressure superdelegates to vote the way their districts voted. This was, again, during Obama's peak in February. The salient paragraph:

MoveOn.org and the Obama camp argue that the elected delegates should vote in line with the will of their constituents. Earlier this week, MoveOn sent a note out to its 3.2 million members asking them to sign a petition to that effect. It's the first time the public has lobbied superdelegates to a convention, says Larry Sabato, a political science professor at the University of Virginia. "The public has never had reason to lobby them before."

Good thing the Obamans can change their "principles" as quickly as chameleons change their colors.

Did I say "the Obamans?" My mistake. I should have said, "some Obama supporters." Because a new group of former Obama supporters has been created. They are mad as hell, and they won't vote for Obama any more. The site got more than 50,000 hits in the first 24 hours of its creation. Welcome, PUMA newbies!

If I were Democratic superdelegates, I'd be paying very, very close attention to PUMA. We are a true grassroots movement filled with internet-savvy, passionate activists from all sides of the political spectrum. And we have the money to help out our candidate when she is feeling "periodically down" because her campaign debt is being used as a blackmailing tool by the DNC.

So, Democratic Party Leaders, put your thinking caps on and find an excuse to nominate the winning candidate in August. In the end, self-interest may do the trick. Or do you really want to be on the Obama train when it crashes in November?

On July 4th, I wrote a post about losing faith in the Democratic Brand. Today, I am explaining my strategic plans for saving it - and why they do not include voting for Barack Obama.

The DNC is currently bound and determined to nominate Obama for President. (I believe the fix has been in since 2004, personally.) They have allowed him to take over the DNC and move the headquarters to Chicago; they have allowed him to decide that Howard Dean gets to keep his job; and they've chosen a giant football stadium in which he is to accept his nomination on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. They are backing their man, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

There's only one problem: Obama does not appeal to the Democratic base. The working class, by and large - Latinos, whites, Asians and some African-Americans, all registered Democrats - did not support the Senator from Illinois in the primaries. And according to CNN, the number of Hillary's supporters who are saying they would support Obama if nominated is actually going down, while 43% of Democrats still say they would prefer her to be the nominee. This is all despite Hillary getting the worst press imaginable, her suspending her campaign and going on fundraising "Unity" missions with Obama, and her virtual absence from the spotlight for more than a month.

I will not elaborate on my incredible frustration with the Party for picking one of the worst candidates I have ever seen in my lifetime to go up against John McCain for the presidency. No, I will leave that to the eloquent and fantabulous riverdaughter. My purpose today is to go beyond the nomination and project forward into the possible presidencies of all three candidates: Clinton, Obama and McCain.

Honestly, I think that whomever wins in November will have an absolutely terrible first term. The economy is simply in free-fall. We are looking at stagflation and a looming Great Depression, in my opinion. Thanks to eight years of lawless, consequence-free behavior by the BFEE (Bush Family Evil Empire), our Constitution is disintegrating. The separation of powers, the laws of habeas corpus, the wall between church and state, the right to privacy and to free speech - all have been abridged or almost destroyed by BushCheney Inc. And let's not forget our seeming inability to do anything constructive regarding Iraq and Afghanistan. Thanks to the "surge," more troops are actually in Iraq than there were before the Democratic Congress was elected to bring them home. Heckuva job, Congresscritters! (Word is, thanks to Dennis Kucinich's persistence, Nancy Pelosi is now considering setting the table for impeachment. Wow, can you say too little, too late?)

The next President will have a lot of extremely difficult choices to make, and the chances are that when the country is not 100% fixed in four years, there will be a massive backlash against whomever that President will be. So, who do we want to suffer those consequences - Obama, McCain or Clinton? I believe it should be either McCain or Clinton, and here's why.

Trust me, I know McCain is just atrocious. I don't believe one word of his latest "I'm a moderate! Really really!" advertising. I think he will do nothing to remedy the effects of Bush's disastrous presidency. However, he clearly has no interest in running for a second term, so he will be free to be more independent than any other Republican nominee would be. I also believe that he can and will be constrained by a much larger majority in Congress, especially since some Republicans have started voting with Democrats on some issues. Thus, I believe his presidency would put the Congress back into a stronger place institutionally, and give them a chance to prove that they are truly interested in doing what's right for this country. (And if they don't, PUMA should make them. I will post more on what I think the future of PUMA should be at a later date.)

A McCain presidency might not be as bad as we think. It does depend on whom he picks as his VP, and whether or not that person would be a viable presidential candidate in 2012. And that brings me to my second possibility: an Obama presidency.

Unfortunately, I don't believe Obama would be a strong Democratic President. What we need now is someone who will absolutely repudiate the disastrous policies of George W. Bush. 80% of the country believes we are going in the wrong direction. Yet Obama's entire campaign is based on courting Republicans and Independents and "unifying" with them. Even worse, he agrees with some of the worst of the Deciderer's policies, as he has shown in the past two weeks. Warrantless wiretapping and telecom immunity? Just fine. Faith-based initiatives? Let's do more! And the war? Well, golly, he might need to refine that Iraq withdrawal policy just a wee bit. Even a veto-proof majority Democratic Congress just might be more likely to go along with this Republican bullshit if it's a Democratic President who wants it.

Muddling and confusion are NOT what the Democratic brand needs right now. The country has enormous problems. We need an FDR, and at best, Obama is a Carter. (At BEST. Unlike Carter, I don't think Obama has a prayer of being elected, but whatever.) Remember what happened after Carter was President for one term? Do the words "twelve years of Republican dominance" mean anything to you? Even worse, like Carter, Obama has shown no ability to beat back the Republican scream machine, so he will get blamed for the economy, the war and the energy crisis. And then where will the Democrats be? NOT in a position to win the White House in 2012 - not even if Hillary runs again. And that brings me to the best-case scenario: Hillary Clinton as President.

I think there's no doubt that if Hillary is our next President, she is also in for a horrible time. And how! Her Party will give her trouble because she will push for UHC, meaningful economic and social reform, major investments in infrastructure and the greening of energy sources...in other words, she'll make them do the hard work, and they don't want to! The press will be all over her and Bill, and despite her incredible competence and detailed plans for moving the country forward, I predict she won't be able to turn things completely around in just four years.

But guess what?

She can handle it.

That's really what it comes down to. You saw Hillary in those debates, where she was getting attacked from all sides, and she handled it. She's risen in popularity and strength despite the ugliest, nastiest attacks her own Party could throw at her. All she had to do was stop listening to Mark Penn and be herself. She handled it. She has withstood the barrage of insults, sexism and outright lies the media has perpetrated against her and emerged as a working-class hero. She handled it.

And in the end, should she prevail against The Fix and beat McCain in November, she will be able to persuade the American people to vote for her again, just like her husband did in 1996.

She will handle it.

And isn't that what we need to happen if we ever want to be a credible alternative to the Republicans again?

So don't tell me I have to vote for Obama. It's not going to happen. Because I'm thinking about the future of the country and the Party, and Obama would be bad for both.

He can't handle it.

Strategery. It's not just for Republicans any more.

PUMA!

THE SCENE: An old-fashioned parlor out of Agatha Christie, with sofas, chairs, a fireplace, porcelains on the mantel, etc. HILLARY CLINTON, wearing a yellow pantsuit, is standing center stage. Seated are NANCY PELOSI, BARACK OBAMA, DONNA BRAZILE and HOWARD DEAN. Standing in the corner with arms folded is Obama's right-hand man, DAVID AXELROD.

HILLARY: All right everyone, you know why we're here. A crime has been committed, and it's a very serious one. I figured we are all suspects, so we might as well get our stories straight.

OBAMA (sullenly): Well, it wasn't me.

AXELROD: Barack - take it easy. Remember - Unity, hope, change! [OBAMA rolls his eyes.]

BRAZILE [faux-fended]: For Pete's sake, Hillary, what the hell am I doing here? I'm neutral! How could I be guilty? Don't you know I work for CNN?

[Brief pause]

ALL except BRAZILE: HAHAHAHAHA! [BRAZILE glares at everyone, then slowly breaks into a grin and laughs along with them]

HILLARY [wiping her eyes]: Whew! Thanks for the laugh, Donna. That really broke the ice! [returning to seriousness] Okay, are we ready to get down to business?

PELOSI [with a stern look at the others]: Go ahead, Hillary. We're ready.

HILLARY: Thank you, Madame Speaker. [takes out a police report and scans it while speaking] All right now, as we know, Ole Yeller, the Yellow Dog Democrat, died sometime during the primary season. The voters aren't sure when it happened, but they know he's gone to another, more Independent place. He'll never vote straight Democrat again. A moment of silence for poor Ole Yeller, if you would.

[ALL bow their heads.]

HILLARY [sighing and resuming her spiel]: Right at this moment, things are looking pretty grim for our Party because of Ole Yeller's death. We can't bring him back to life, but maybe if we figure out how he died, we can persuade the voters to get a replacement. A New Yeller, if you will. [The others groan.]

OBAMA: Jeez, Hillary, can't you get to the point a little faster?

HILLARY [muttering]: Amateur. [PELOSI snorts in agreement.]

DEAN: Obama's right. Let's just start talking about how none of us could have done it, then we'll all blame Hillary and go home. Deal? [HILLARY shakes her head with a little half-smile, then sits down by the fireplace.]

BRAZILE: That's a great idea, Howard! I'll go first. [stands up, begins pacing the room dramatically] Of COURSE I couldn't have done it. I mean, no one knows better than me how to win over Democrats. Look at my record! Every Presidential candidate I've worked with has won! [grins triumphantly, arms out]

AXELROD [crossing to BRAZILE]: Uh, Donna, you might want to check that statement. You've chalked up more losses than wins in your column, unless you're seriously claiming that Dukakis, Jesse Jackson, Gephardt and Gore all became President? [Donna's grin falters, and she sits down sheepishly] Oh yes, you definitely could have done it...unlike me. Look at my incredible record running campaigns and working for Democratic politicians. I got Deval Patrick elected, and then, of course, Barack. I could not be more innocent. Ole Yeller loved me and my candidates!

PELOSI [standing]: Ha! Your [sarcastic] brilliant campaign made a lot of women very angry. I know because they kept calling me. [imitating the callers] "Why does Obama call women 'sweetie' and offer to kiss them for votes? Why doesn't he say something about all the misogyny from his supporters and surrogates? What was that stuff about being periodically down?" Blah blah blah. They're a bunch of whiners, but they do have a point. So don't tell me about how you couldn't have killed that dog. You're just as guilty as Donna here.

OBAMA: [standing] And what about you, Nancy?

PELOSI [bristling]: That's Speaker Pelosi to you.

OBAMA [smiling]: My apologies, Madame Speaker. [PELOSI is somewhat mollified. Of course, it's hard to tell because of the Botoxed frozenness of her face.] But my question remains, what about you? Thanks to your inability to get us out of Iraq, Congress' "good to excellent" approval rating is 9%. That's gotta be some kind of record, right guys? [THE MEN ALL SNICKER. HILLARY glares at Obama until he stops laughing.] Uh, anyway, looks like you're not so innocent either.

PELOSI [dignified]: Fine. I'll admit that I'm not a saint. But Senator Obama, can you do the same?

OBAMA [offended]: Who, me? Are you kidding? I AM the Democratic Party! I moved the DNC to Chicago! I'm Obama for America! And besides, everyone loves me. Yes, I can!

HILLARY [unable to keep silent]: Oh, for god's sake, Barack, you don't believe your own propaganda, do you? Save it for your deluded worshipers in the blogosphere!

AXELROD [aside to Obama]: Yeah, Barack. I told you that most of those [makes air quotes with his hands] "anonymous supporters" work for me anyway.

OBAMA [ignoring AXELROD, sneering at HILLARY]: Oh please, woman, like you have the right to tell me what to do! I am the nominee! I won! I'm going to be nominated in a giant football stadium in front of 76,000 screaming fans - I mean, Party members! I'll win without you and your voters! Who needs those Bubbas, anyway?

DEAN [scratching his head]: Uh, Barack? You know, a lot of people think Ole Yeller was a Bubba. You're acting like you sure hated him. Maybe you ARE the killer!

[BILL CLINTON enters.]

BILL: Did I hear someone say Barack killed Ole Yeller? Well, forgive me for being just a dumb country boy from Arkansas, but it seems to me you're all guilty. Donna, you changed the DNC rules to disenfranchise Florida and Michigan, but not states you thought Barack would win. Howard, you let her do it. Axelrod, you're just creepy with all that cult worshiping stuff, the Bush-style campaigning and the astroturfing. And Nancy? Well, I feel kinda sorry for you because you got ol' Steny undermining you every step of the way, but you sure didn't help Ole Yeller much - and the buck stops with you.

OBAMA: Oh, come on now. Like you're an impartial observer, Bill? This is - just - inartful, even for you.

BILL [getting red in the face and pointing]: Listen here, you ungrateful little Chicago punk. If it wasn't for me - the only two-term Democratic President in this room, by the way - you would be nowhere, man. I raised Ole Yeller. I made him think we Democrats cared about him. I fed him, I stayed up with him at night when he was sick, and I made sure he stayed with me instead of going to Bush's or Dole's house. By the time I was done with Ole Yeller, it looked like he'd live forever - or at least another eight years!

You guys were the ones that screwed it up. You showed Ole Yeller you didn't care about him. After eight years of Bush destroying everything he loved, he finally died - of a broken heart.

[EVERYONE but HILLARY starts yelling at BILL and each other. BRAZILE and PELOSI start throwing porcelains at each other. DEAN starts screaming "Chicago sucks! Yeeeearrrrgh!" at AXELROD.]

[HILLARY stands up and walks over to BILL. She shakes her head and takes his hand.]

HILLARY: I wonder if they'll ever understand what happened to that poor dog? Come on, Bill, let's get out of here. [exiting] Maybe in 2012, we can get the Party a puppy!

[LIGHTS OUT]

Since we Democrats decided to run a woman, a Latino, an African-American and a hobbit (sorry, Dennis, I just couldn't resist! Mwah!) for president this year, there has been a lot of discussion about identity politics. The discussions mostly run like this: Is it okay to vote for Obama mainly because he's African-American? What about voting for Hillary mainly because she is a woman?

This, like most of the so-called "analysis" perpetrated in three-second soundbytes by the corporate media, is on a cartoon level of understanding. I would like to delve a little bit deeper into the (say it with me) nuances of what identity really means with regard to political parties.

President Bush famously said, "You're either with us, or against us." Not only was this statement symptomatic of his general addiction to faux cowboy-ism, but I believe that it was also, in a larger sense, the way Republicans think about the members of their Party.

As we know from reading John Dean's "Conservatives Without Conscience," (ohfuhgodssake just read the darn book) today's Republicans, aka "movement conservatives," are monolithic and authoritarian in their thinking. In other words, they look for a figure of absolute authority to follow, a strong Daddy to relieve them of the burdens of thinking for themselves. (This explains the appeal of movement conservatism to evangelical Christians, and their creepy identification of Bush as a religious, instead of a political, leader.) A rare few, such as Bush and Cheney, are double-high authoritarians, who wish to be the authority figures themselves. (Remember Bush's statement that it would be a lot easier if the U.S. were a dictatorship, as long as he's the dictator?) Movement conservatives also espouse a platform that is negative in nature; against taxes, against abortion, against evolution, against anything with the "liberal" label stamped on it.

All these factors converge into one large lump of identity for Republicans. If you pass the test - if you believe what they believe - then you're with them. If not, you're against them. Show allegiance to the leader, and you can be any color, any religion, any income level and even (gasp!) female. Your identity is subsumed into that of the authority figure. You know how to vote on every issue, and you believe whatever the authority figure believes. It's a Fascist, but efficient, way to run a political party.

More on the Republicans in a little while.

Now, for us pesky Democrats. In my experience, we are exactly the opposite of the Republicans on the subject of identity. Our loyalty is to the principles of the Party rather than to any individual. Thus, it makes it much, much harder to identify "friend" from "foe." Getting a bunch of Democrats to all vote the same way is "herding cats." We are currently experiencing a massive split in the Party between those who support Senator Obama and those who don't. Why? Because we PUMAs believe that Hillary represents the principles of the Democratic Party and that Barack Obama does not. That's your identity politics right there, bub.

Were we Republicans, this would never have happened. The base of the Party doesn't like John McCain, because he has not shown enough loyalty to President Bush. Doesn't matter - they'll vote for him anyway, because President Bush has endorsed him and has raised money for him. That's good enough for them. As for us, the base of the Democratic Party? We've had everyone from Al Gore, to Jimmy Carter, to John Edwards endorse Obama. We've even had Senator Clinton urging us to support him. No sale. We feel the love for you, Hillary, but our loyalty isn't transferable.

What got me thinking about this in the first place was the shocking article I linked to yesterday. How is it possible that Senator McCain, a man who consistently espouses policies that would harm women in general, treats the women in his Senate office with so much more respect than Senator Obama, a man who supports policies like equal pay for equal work?

Then I realized: For Republicans, it's all about individual loyalty. If those women are loyal to McCain, they're not women, they're team members. They're With Him, and no bigotry applies to those who are members of the Republican team. That's how President Bush was able to appoint two African-American Secretaries of State, and not one Republican blinked. Incredibly ironic for a man who, due to his lack of interest in the African-American community in general, consistently has an approval rating of single digits among AAs.

For Democrats, it's all about loyalty to Party principles. If those women work for Obama, they are women who work for the principles of the Democratic Party, of whom Senator Obama is a representative. (See how complicated it is already?) Thus, they are seen as individuals, not nameless, faceless cogs in a wheel, and all bigotry, including misogyny, applies.

I know that we Democrats should not adopt the Fascist tendencies of the Republicans, but something has got to change within our identity mechanism. In a year when we should be looking forward to a giant sweep of the legislative and executive branches, I and my fellow PUMAs believe that we are likely to either lose the executive, or win the executive at the expense of the principles of the Party.

May I suggest, Breaking Down the Big Tent?

It seems that some of Senator Obama's more lefty supporters are starting to realize that he is not the liberal/progressive they thought he was. Personally, I am mystified as to how any remotely reasonable person could have thought he was a liberal. One anti-war speech in 2002 - which no one can find video or audio of - does not a liberal make. And his record in the Illinois Senate was hardly one of accomplishment, despite his recent claims.

Obama's rhetoric, as I've pointed out time and again, has always been rightward bound. From his pandering to anti-gay evangelicals with Donnie McClurkin, to his praising of all Presidents Republican (which Democratic President has he ever praised on a consistent basis?), to his kumbaya Unity schtick, to his statements that he would consider specific Republics for his Cabinet post (and possibly for VP - I think that's the next shoe to drop), to his unforgivable lying about Bill Clinton's presidency (no, rural people did not suffer equally under Reagan and Clinton, thanks for playing) and embrace of right-wing frames regarding Bill and Hillary's judgment and character...well, I could go on and on. Oh! I just did!

But those are all in the past, right? We all know that once Obama got the nomination, he would do a shout-out to his bestest buddies, the lefties who love and worship him as the next coming of John F. Kennedy, right?

Not so much. Obama's been steadily and happily giving the finger to all things liberal for the last few weeks. Iraq withdrawal? Just a best-case scenario, as I pointed out. FISA filibuster? Not so much. Women and abortion? Turns out a late-term abortion should not be the woman's decision - it should be done only if some physical problem occurs. And let's not forget that Obama wants to expand on Bush's faith-based initiatives, and is consistently reaching out to the rightiest of right-wingers, evangelical Christians, with projects such as the Joshua Generation.

Finally, this morning I read about this [h/t to "ribbon" on TalkLeft]:

On average, women working in Obama's Senate office were paid at least $6,000 below the average man working for the Illinois senator. That's according to data calculated from the Report of the Secretary of the Senate, which covered the six-month period ending Sept. 30, 2007. Of the five people in Obama's Senate office who were paid $100,000 or more on an annual basis, only one -- Obama's administrative manager -- was a woman.

The average pay for the 33 men on Obama's staff (who earned more than $23,000, the lowest annual salary paid for non-intern employees) was $59,207. The average pay for the 31 women on Obama's staff who earned more than $23,000 per year was $48,729.91. (The average pay for all 36 male employees on Obama's staff was $55,962; and the average pay for all 31 female employees was $48,729. The report indicated that Obama had only one paid intern during the period, who was a male.)

McCain, an Arizona senator, employed a total of 69 people during the reporting period ending in the fall of 2007, but 23 of them were interns. Of his non-intern employees, 30 were women and 16 were men. After excluding interns, the average pay for the 30 women on McCain's staff was $59,104.51. The 16 non-intern males in McCain's office, by comparison, were paid an average of $56,628.83.

Add this to Obama's abortion flip-flop, and is it any wonder that women don't want Obama as Commander-in-Chief? The penilely-challenged do not seem to be as equal as other animals in Obama's World.

Now, some people are calling this rash of pandering a move to the center. Okay, almost EVERYONE is calling this a move to the center. Newsflash, people. The center is not there. What "center" thinks telecommunications companies should have immunity for spying on Americans? What "center" thinks that the troops don't need to come home from Iraq? What "center" thinks Roe v. Wade was a mistake and that abortion should be regulated even further? What "center" thinks that Bush's faith-based initiatives were an awesome success and should be expanded?

No, Obama is moving to the far right. He's signaled this move all along, and now he's following up on his rhetoric.

In how large a font should I type "I told you so?"

Now, the Convention is not a coronation, and Hillary has not released her delegates. There is still time to nominate the only real Democrat in this race. My purpose with all these posts is not to bash Obama, although I don't mind that part either, but to highlight the fact that his candidacy would be an utter disaster for three reasons:

1) He is the presumptive nominee only through corruption by, and collusion with, the National Party.
2) He refuses to stand up for Democratic principles, caving to the rightwingers constantly.
3) He will lose to McCain.

There is still time to save the Party from itself. There is still time to put a real fighter, a strong leader and a die-hard liberal Democrat up against John McCain. There is still time to elect a Democratic President who actually has the know-how and the will to fix the massive problems we are facing.

And that is the true goal of PUMA.

THE SCENE: BARACK OBAMA is sleeping in a five-star hotel room. Four-poster bed, multi-room suite, you know the deal. He has a purple satin sleep mask over his eyes. His wife, MICHELLE, can be heard, but not seen, humming "Hail To the Chief" from the enormous bathroom, where she is taking a bubble bath.

BILL BURTON, Obama's campaign manager, knocks diffidently on the bedroom door.

BURTON: Hey, Barack? Are you awake yet?

MICHELLE (from bathroom): Dammit Bill, I told you to call him "Mr. President!"

BURTON: (rolling his eyes) Sorry, Michelle. Uh, Mr. President?

OBAMA: (stretching and removing his mask) Oh, hey Bill. [BURTON enters the room] What time is it?

BURTON: Almost 6 am. Up and at 'em, tiger!

OBAMA: Oh man. My waffles coming?

BURTON: Like always, Mr. President. [OBAMA smiles.]

OBAMA: Cool. So, what's happening today? Is everybody happy?

BURTON: Uh, not really, Mr. President. [OBAMA's smile disappears.]

OBAMA: What the hell? What will it take for those Catwomen -

BURTON: PUMAs, Barack.

OBAMA: [waving hand dismissively] Fine, fine, whatever, PUMAs - to get on the Obama train? Do I have to give them a kiss or something?

BURTON: Actually, I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about your fans in the blogosphere. They are really, really pissed about this FISA compromise.

OBAMA: [chuckling] Oh. I thought it was something serious! After everything I've said and done, they're mad at me about FISA, huh? Lord, they are hilarious. They really think I'm going to filibuster? Are they crazy? I don't have time for that crap, I've got a campaign to run! Let Feingold and Dodd take care of it.

BURTON: But they've threatened to withhold campaign donations. They've formed a group of 16,000 people on your website.

OBAMA: [smiling] Come on, Bill. I've got fundraisers coming up where people are paying $30,000 a plate to see me. Does Markos really think his $2300 is going to make a dent? Seriously, these people do not have a clue.

BURTON: So, you think they'll vote for you anyway?

MICHELLE (from the bathroom): Of course they will! You think they'll vote for John McCain? After all...

[all three together]: Where else can they go?

BURTON: [smiling] You're right, Mr. President. What was I thinking? Unless they plan to withhold their votes, like those bitchy PUMAs, they're just pissing into the wind. We'll just ignore them like we usually do.

OBAMA: [clapping Burton on the back] My man! That's what I'm talking about. Now, where the hell are those waffles?

[Lights out.]

Cross-posted at The Confluence.

Yes, I'm back from Aruba, rested, relaxed and ready to roar! (More pictures will be coming later.)

I've been thinking about this post for quite some time. How can I further explain why Barack Obama is not getting my vote? I have tried in various different ways; using plays, lists of ways in which Obama has not kept his promises, and even a petition to show my reasoning. Yet some thoughtful Obama supporters still do not understand where I'm coming from.

I don't blame them. Sometimes, I can't believe it myself! After all, everyone who knows me (or reads my blog) knows that a few months ago, I was yelling louder than anyone that ANY Democrat would be better than a Republican in 2009.

Then I realized: I am a PUMA because I don't have faith in the Democratic brand anymore.

All my life, I have voted Democratic when I could. Fiercely partisan and proud of it, only one time did I cast a vote for a Republic, and that was when I allowed myself to be a single-issue voter. (I'll never make that mistake again.) I believed wholeheartedly in the idea that the Democrats were inherently better than the Republics. Why? Because the Democrats cared about the working class. The Democrats wanted a social safety net and equal opportunity for all. Every enlightened advance made in our society in the last 60 years was forced through by Democrats. And face it - what Democrat would ever say the words I quote above? Embarrassing. Anathema!

Then, along came Barack Obama.

Elitist? You bet. Courting the rightiest right-wingers in our society? Much more than he's courting liberals! And as for the Democratic base? Who needs 'em? They're just racist Republicans, anyway. And as for his policy positions? I don't trust one word he says.

The only way a politician like Obama can brand himself a Democrat is that the Democratic brand is in desperate trouble. There are two reasons for this: the actions of the VRWC (the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, which did and does exist), and the actions of current Democratic Party leadership.

First, the enemy without.

When Bill Clinton was elected in 1992, the New Conservative Republicans knew that in two years, they would sweep Congress. Their plans to infiltrate the media via teevee and radio punditry, and to take over the local parties at the grassroots level, had gone swimmingly. Now, only those in lockstep with the radical rightwing agenda - mostly social and anti-government in nature - would be able to advance to national office. And thus it came to pass in 1994 that Gingrich's Congress took power.

As we know, they immediately began investigating the new Democratic President. But what their media wing did is a lesser-known fact: They immediately began divorcing the Clintons from the Democratic brand.

Despite the avalanche of progressive reforms that Clinton attempted from 1992-1994 while he had a somewhat supportive Congress (and many of which, like AmeriCorps, became incredibly successful), the impression began to be created that Bill and Hillary Clinton were not REALLY Democrats. Smears about their characters and "true intentions" began to be published in every newspaper. Sure, they may try to fix health care, but their "true intentions" were to screw the little guy. The term "slick Willy" was affixed to President Clinton with Crazy Glue. Bill was a liar and a cheat. Hillary was cold, calculating, ambitious and gay. They were possibly even murderers (Vince Foster). (For factual backup of all of these occurrences, I highly recommend, once again, David Brock's amazing book, "Blinded by the Right.")

How could these people be Democrats? They couldn't. And neither could their supporters.

Thus, despite Bill's job approval rating being extremely high when he left office, Democrats were successfully induced to feel that there was something wrong with Bill and Hillary on a personal level. Something unsavory, undesirable, and...Republican.

Fast-forward to 2007, when Barack Obama, the candidate backed by the current Democratic Party Leaders, began his own campaign against Hillary Clinton. Guess what his line of attack was? Her "character" and "judgment." Ring any bells for ya? He and his surrogates even tried to get the media to focus on the Republics' greatest hits of the 1990's, although Hillary put the smackdown on that pretty quickly when Howard Wolfson likened Obama to Ken Starr. And of course, there were the Big "Progressive" Bloggers, who always hated the Clintons, and who were more than happy to allow the most outrageous lies to be propagated as truth in their worlds. (Remember how Hillary "darkened" Obama's face on a videotape? Or how she was spreading the photo of Obama in Muslim garb - "sourced" by the oh-so-reliable Matt Drudge?)

What's amazing is that this double-pronged strategy, so successful with Bill Clinton, did not work on Hillary Clinton. Despite taking years of hits from Republicans AND Democrats, she became the first woman to win a national primary, then smashed all records by garnering 18 million popular votes. And as for winning the Democratic base? The more they saw her, the more they realized that the rightwing spin on her was a bunch of hooey. They came out for her in droves - months AFTER she had been pronounced dead by the National Party and the media.

It is my belief that the Clintons, especially Hillary, represent the true face of the Democratic Party, and not the current Party elites and their favored candidate, Barack Obama. That the Democratic brand is now like toothpaste that's been contaminated by antifreeze - bad for you, and sold-out to the highest bidder. That the only way to save the brand is by distilling out the poison of corruption and elitism, and to get it down to its purest elements - FDR-style populism and emphasis on the working class instead of the rich.

There is no way, no WAY that Barack Obama can do what is necessary to save the brand. He is clearly not inclined to do so, having zero record of any actions backing up his sometimes-liberal rhetoric, and neither are his supporters. They are only interested in creating a Party that more closely reflects their own image of themselves as Teh Kewl Kids Who Drink The Right Kind of Beer and Ousted Those Despicable Clintons. The fact that Obama's nomination is being made possible only with the most obvious and corrupt Party intervention matters not one whit to them.

What I see now is a choice between two parties that represent the rich, do not care about the will of the voters, and look down on people who need the government's help to equalize their opportunities.

Now I ask you, why would a representative of either of such parties get my vote - unless it is Hillary Clinton, who has a record of standing for, and delivering on, true Democratic principles?

There is a movement to send torn-up Democratic voter registration cards to the DNC today, with a note that the former Democrat is becoming an Independent. I myself have not taken this step, since I am still hoping that the Party can come to its senses and nominate Hillary at the Convention. But should the DNC and Party leaders persist in nominating Barack Obama despite the will of the people, despite his weakness as a candidate, and despite the fact that he has demonstrated no allegiance whatsoever to core Democratic Party principles, then the brand truly will be dead.

And I will no longer be a Democrat.

PUMA!

One of the things I often hear when I say I won't vote for Barack Obama is:

"But-but-but he and Hillary are identical on the issues!"

This mistaken belief, I feel, is one of the reasons people who ARE voting for Obama feel comfortable doing so. Maybe they didn't get their first choice - or maybe they did - but either way, Clinton and Obama are both Democrats, right? And they both say the same things on most issues, right?

Right?

Well, here's the rub. Hillary Clinton is credible when she says things like, "I believe in health care for every American." Barack Obama, sadly, is not.

Several factors inform my faith in the promises of Hillary Clinton, but the main one is that she has a record of doing what she claims she would do as President.

For example, on health care, Senator Clinton is unassailable. She tried to push Universal Health Care through the Congress in 1993, but being "only" a First Lady, did not have the clout to hack through the jungle of Blue Dog Democrats and hundreds of millions of dollars of "Harry and Louise" swiftboating from the insurance industry. Even when HillaryCare failed, she still made lemonade from lemons, and was instrumental in getting SCHIP through Congress. Millions of children owe a debt of gratitude to Senator Clinton for that program.

As for Barack Obama, well...his plan is fundamentally weaker than Hillary's. However, it's still better than what we have now. Sure, he doesn't have a record of accomplishment like Hillary, but it's POSSIBLE he could get it done, right?

Right?

Here is the epicenter of the problem. Throughout the primary season, Barack Obama has lied so often that a veritable fog of cynicism surrounds his every pronouncement. And for Jeebus' sake, don't bring up Tuzla to me. Just listen to the IMPORTANT things Obama has lied about.

How about Iraq?

Obama has promised to get us completely out of Iraq in 16 months. Hillary's hawkishness on Iraq was one of the main reasons that many lefties supported Obama. In fact, he hammered her constantly on her poor judgment in voting for the AUMF, which he successfully equated with "authorizing the war in Iraq." (It did, but only if Bush met certain conditions, which he didn't meet at all. Didn't even come close.)

Unfortunately, Samantha Power, Obama's top national security advisor, made it clear that Obama had no intentions of sticking to his promises:

And now, McCain and Obama are basically indistinguishable on Iraq, or so says the Iraqi Foreign Minister in the Washington Post.

It would be "the height of ideology" to stick to a campaign promise that you used to win the anti-war left to your side? Seems to me that it is the height of cynicism to pretend you are something you're not.

If Senator Obama will pull back from his campaign position on Iraq, what else will he "change" his mind about?

Public financing, perhaps? Jerusalem? Iran? NAFTA?

How about FISA?

Back when the issue of telecom immunity came up in 2007, Chris Dodd stated he would filibuster it in the Senate. Barack Obama offered his support, along with other Presidential contenders Biden and Clinton. Now, the issue of telecom immunity is on the table again, for reasons no one outside of Nancy Pelosi's living room can adequately understand (although I have my thoughts - tune in tomorrow...). Barack Obama has coronated himself king of the Democratic, er, Obama for America Party. Where is his commitment to stopping telecom immunity now?

His latest statement shows that he supports the so-called "compromise":

Translation: He will do nothing to back up his rhetoric. How utterly...unsurprising. Is this the change we can believe in - we can believe he will change his mind, any time he feels it is politically expedient?

Obama cannot even tell the truth about his own record. Oh, and remember that email that was going around saying that Obama had MORE legislative accomplishments than Senator Clinton? A complete and total fabrication.

Have I demonstrated sufficiently that Barack Obama has a massive credibility problem on the issues?

So no, please don't tell me that he and Hillary Clinton believe in the same things and would fight the same fights as President. The fact is, I don't have any idea what Barack Obama believes in. I have no sense of what his goals are. He would have to actually do something - pass a law, take a stand, make something happen in the Senate - in order to push aside that fog of cynicism even the eensiest little bit.

Otherwise, all I hear is "Promises, Promises" whenever he speaks. And that's not good enough to earn my vote.

P.U.M.A.!