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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Paris Hilton for President!

Okay, maybe not. But man, I wish Barack Obama could borrow her sense of humor - and her ad shop.

As you may or may not know, John McCain put out an ad comparing Obama to empty-headed celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Senator Obama, the hysterions in the Obamasphere, and many opinionators in the corporate media immediately screamed, "RACISM!" because Britney and Paris are white and of course, McCain implied that Obama wanted to have sex with them. (insert eyeroll here) This tactic backfired completely, and allowed McCain's true narrative of Obama as young, vapid and unready to lead to infect the public's brains, completely unchallenged by the Senator from Illinois.

If only Obama had the first fucking clue about how to fight the Republicans, I might feel a little better about him. Indeed, when I first picked Hillary as my favorite waaaaaaaayyyyyy back when (second favorite, since Al Gore wasn't running), it was her experience standing up to the right wing noise machine that attracted me to her. And my first reservations about Obama came when I saw how his vaunted "post-partisan" approach was unlikely to achieve any results. As The Great Krugman said,

As health care goes, so goes the rest of the progressive agenda. Anyone who thinks that the next president can achieve real change without bitter confrontation is living in a fantasy world.

Confrontation is not the same as whining that McCain is being mean to you because you're black. You need to take on the Republics on the issues, and make them back down. Up the ante. No matter what they do, laugh it off and refocus the debate.

Which brings me to President Paris Hilton. Here is her hilarious and pointed rebuttal to McCain's charges that she is a dumb blonde who contributes nothing to society. (Yes, Paris Hilton got the point of the ad and Barack Obama and his supporters didn't. Things that make you go "Hmmmmmmmm.")

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity, too. Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot," Hilton said, speaking as she reclined in a pool chair in a revealing bathing suit and a pair of pumps. "But then that wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude."

"I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead," she said.

She then discusses energy policy, and suggests a hybrid of McCain's offshore oil drilling plan and Obama's incentives for new energy technology.

"Energy crisis solved! I'll see you at the debates," she said,
Senator Obama, do you see what she did there? She made fun of herself and of McCain, and then focused on the issues!

And do you know how McCain's people responded?

McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds said Hilton appears to support his candidate's "all of the above" energy solution.

"Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan," Bounds said.
BAM! Wow. Suddenly, we're back to talking about the issues.

If only Barack Obama, instead of screaming "OMG TEH RACISM!!111!!!" had put out an ad that went a little something like this:

"Hi, I'm Barack Obama. Of course, you know that. Maybe John McCain's right, and I AM the biggest celebrity in the world. But that doesn't mean I don't have a plan for a better America.

John McCain wants to stick to outdated technologies like coal, nuclear power and offshore drilling, which would continue to harm our environment and keep us stuck in the 20th Century. My plan emphasizes renewable resources, existing, effective technology like wind and solar power, and will have us completely independent from foreign oil by the year 2018.

Hmmmm. Maybe they like me...for a reason."
This is so simple, Paris Hilton can do it; but apparently, Barack Obama can't. And now, he has been forced to admit that he WAS race-baiting when he talked about not looking like Presidents from the past, and has had to publicly state that John McCain's campaign is cynical, not racist. Now McCain can use that soundbyte against Obama if they do decide to go all Harold Ford on him.

If this is how Obama is going to run the GE, I see a McGovern-like defeat for the Democrats - and possible down-ticket issues in the House and Senate as well.

I sure hope the SuperDelegates have the courage to do their jobs, because it looks like, despite the best efforts of the DNC to prevent any choice at the Convention, Hillary WILL be in nomination and on the ballot.

It's simple, SuperDelegates - do you want to win in November, or do you want to lose?

I'll bet even Paris Hilton could answer that question correctly.
Cross-posted at The Confluence


Timmy B said...

Maybe Obama should mention Grandpa Simpson and Mclame in the same sentence.

madamab said...

Hee hee! Now THAT would be funny! :-)

Leila said...

I've found my write-in candidate! I hesitated to vote for McKinney, for various reasons, and won't vote for The One, so I figured I'd leave it blank. But I think I may very well vote for Paris Hilton. (I'll check my state laws first, though...)

Blogspot forces me to sign in with this ID, which is different from the NWHiker I've used elsewhere. I've enjoyed reading you at Talk Left and now here and at Riverdaughter's.

Anonymous said...

Spot on post! That's just the thing, no sense of humor or of where to pick his battles. At least McCain has a sense of humor. I've never seen one in Obama, not even in his "off stage" moments. If he has any.

Anonymous said...

Related Alert re: Super Delegates!


Let’s Strip Donna Brazile’s Super Delegate Status!

Here’s how, as detailed on last night’s No We Won’t/PUMA Radio! Over 70 letters have been received already from some people who know about these things, let’s flood the DNC with more from us little folks!

Paul from Friends of Hillary called in and gave some exciting insights (at about the one hour mark at the link provided).

“If befriend donkey, expect to be kicked”–Charlie Chan

Patrick Roberts said...

Paris has done an awesome job, yet again of utilizing events to her own advantage... she or her PR team is genius