Oooh, nuance!

With this week's Netroots Nation starting today, there will be two viewpoints represented: that of the centrist (aka EEEEEEVIL) DLC (represented by DLC leader Harold Ford), and that of the virtuous, pure, liberal/progressive netroots (represented by Markos Moulitsas of the Daily Kos).

Or so they would have you believe.

When the "progressive" blogosphere burst on the scene several years ago, I could not have been more thrilled. I was so tired of the corporate media covering up for the Deciderer and his criminal and anti-American activities. Here, at last, with the help of Talking Points Memo, Daily Kos, Huffington Post and Eschaton, I could find like-minded individuals who wanted to know what was REALLY going on and who had the resources to find out. I also could take action by joining Moveon.org and Democracy for America. It was a heady, wonderful time for me, and I thought we were all on the same page.

Then, things began to change.

IOKIYAR, the ironic bloggy appellation for "It's OK If You're A Republican," suddenly morphed into IOKIYO - "It's OK If You're Obama." No matter how many rightwing frames and positions Obama took, no matter how he insulted women, gays or African Americans, no matter how much he lied about Bill Clinton's record and smeared him and Hillary as racists - It Was OK. He was Obama, and besides which, he was not a Clinton, and....because that's why! Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh!

The incredible irony of it all was that Markos pretended he didn't like the Clintons because of their "triangulation." Yet Obama, that progressive Jeebus of the blogosphere, has been triangulating much more than Hillary and Bill ever did - and in ways that are destined to reach out to Republicans and Independents, not Democrats.

Take, for example, Hillary's AUMF vote. This was THE excuse for Hillary Hatred in the "progressive" blogosphere. Now, I can't tell you how much I disagreed with that vote, but I believe that Hillary was doing her job at the time. Why? Because it was what her constituents wanted. It's hard to imagine now, but back when Bush pushed that awful legislation on the Congress, support for an invasion of Iraq was very high. We liberal/progressive/dirty fucking hippies were in the minority. So, despite her misgivings, which she stated very eloquently on the floor, Hillary voted for the resolution. Had Bush abided by it, we would not be in Iraq now.

As badly as that vote turned out, it was aimed at the center. Not, however, the center of the rightwing conservatives in the Republican Party, at which Barack Obama seems to be aiming, with his massive outreach to evangelical Christian voters, abandonment of his promises on telecom immunity, and ever-fuzzier language on abortion, gun rights and Iraq. No, that vote was aiming at the center of the Democratic Party - which, I believe, is the center of the American political psyche.

Hillary Clinton's phenomenally successful Presidential run showed me that the center of the Democratic Party is where the country feels most at home. 18 million voters came out to say "Yes!" to Hillary's populist, New Deal-style platform. Hillary won more votes than any candidate, male or female, had ever won in a primary contest.

Senator Clinton's voters completely ignored all the machinations of the media and the DNC/Obama conglomerate. They were told their votes wouldn't count in Michigan and Florida, but millions voted anyway. They didn't listen to the grandiose pronouncements of Hillary's early demise after Obama's long run of victories in February. They didn't care that Obama was being declared the winner before all the votes had been counted. Time after time, Hillary showed her incredible strength with the poor and the working class, chalking up 40-point wins over Obama in West Virginia and Kentucky despite their lateness in the primary calendar. The enthusiasm of the Clinton voters could not be denied.

Yet Hillary was not good enough for the netroots. Her voting record was 91% progressive, her platform was more leftist than Obama's, and she had the experience and competence to clean up the giant pile of poop the Chimp has left on our country's carpet.

The netroots didn't care.

They called her every name in the book. They expected her to quit in February, although no candidate in such a close race for the nomination had ever done so. They said she was divisive and ruining the Democratic Party. They made up ridiculous stories about how she was darkening Obama's skin in a video and spreading a picture of Obama in "Muslim garb." They sneered at her physique, her clothes, her shoes. Obama called her supporters in Pennsylvania and Ohio racist, bitter xenophobes, and the netroots were more than happy to perpetuate with those stereotypes. They said she was crazy, a stalker, a character in a Monty Python movie. Are we to believe that a pure desire to purge the Party of "triangulation" and "centrism" are really the source of this unreasoning bile?

I certainly do not believe it, and neither should anyone who has been paying attention.

So where is the battle for the true soul of the Party being fought?

It's not at Netroots Nation, where the struggle is one of power rather than of principle. Markos is fighting for a seat at Obama's table, and he means to have it by hook or by crook.

No, the ones battling for the soul of the Democratic Party are Hillary Clinton and her PUMA supporters.

We aren't at Netroots Nation, because neither the Markos coalition nor the DLC speaks for us. We are here, around the "Internets", doing our daily actions, contacting superdelegates and the DNC, and fighting to keep the FDR/Clinton wing of the party alive.

Because that, my friends, is the true center. And I hope that after the November election, whatever happens, PUMA will keep fighting for that center, and pushing for the populist, liberal agenda that the netroots and the DLC have abandoned by backing Barack Obama at all costs.

The good guys are going to need all the help they can get.

[THE SCENE: A theatre with a long runway extending from the stage area. Seated beside the runway in three directors' chairs are BARACK OBAMA, MICHELLE OBAMA and DAVID AXELROD, Obama's right-hand man. On the proscenium arch above the stage, a sign reads: "Election Runway - You're Either In, or You're Out!" Written below it are the words, "DEMOCRATS ENTER HERE."

DEMOCRATIC VOTERS enter through the stage curtains and wander onto the runway, a veritable Rainbow Coalition of races, ages, etc. Whenever a single voter is intended to represent a group of people, that voter will have a sign or a label indicating as much. All are chattering excitedly.]

YOUNG VOTER #1: OMG, I am like so excited about this election! I can't believe we get to choose among so many great candidates. Finally, good-bye to Bush and those horrible Republicans!

MIDDLE-AGED VOTER #2: Yeah. God, the Republicans suck. Some of them actually said they didn't believe in evolution? What century are they living in?

[ALL THE VOTERS LAUGH DERISIVELY.]

OLDER VOTER #3: Look at us. We represent the best of this country. We've got a woman, an African American AND a Hispanic! Those Republicans are so boring. Nothing but white men as far as the eye can see!

[AXELROD clears his throat.]

AXELROD: Okay, people, let's get this show on the road!

VOTERS [muttering to themselves]: Who's that guy? What's going on? Where are the other candidates?

OBAMA [clapping his hands together]: People, please! Can we have a little quiet so we can start the show?

[THE VOTERS quiet down, but look confused. A woman raises her hand.]

WOMAN: Uh, Senator Obama? Where are the other candidates? I thought this was Election Runway!

[While the voters and the judges talk, HOWARD DEAN enters through the stage curtains and switches the sign from "Election Runway" to "Obama's Runway." He then bows and exits the same way he came.]

MICHELLE [smiling]: Tell 'em, Barack.

OBAMA: Democratic Voters, this - is Obama's Runway! As you know, in politics, one day you're in - and the next day, you're out!

[THE VOTERS mutter amongst themselves.]

VOTER #1: Wait a minute. I don't get it. I signed up for Election Runway. Is this a different show?

AXELROD [snickering]: Yeah, we just said that so you'd all show up. Fact is, this show is about US choosing YOU. [As Axelrod speaks, DONNA BRAZILE slinks in through the stage curtains. She has a big label on the lapel of her suit which reads "BOUNCER."]

OBAMA: All right, folks, let's get started. Let's see. David, who are our contestants this time?

AXELROD: First up: rural voters. What have you got to say for yourselves? You voted for Hillary in the primaries. What makes you think you deserve to be part of Obama for America?

RURAL VOTER #1: Obama for America? I thought this show was for Democrats! I don't know what Obama for America means. [The other rural voters nod and loudly agree.]

OBAMA: I'm sorry, rural voters. You don't belong with Obama for America. You're out. Auf wiedersehn! [BRAZILE steps forward and ushers them off the stage.]

AXELROD: Next up: the voters of Michigan and Florida. Listen, people, we'd really like to include you, but as you know, your elections were illegitimate, so -

FLORIDA VOTER [interrupting]: Now wait just a damn minute. It's not our fault our legislature monkeyed with our primary dates. Why are you blaming us?

MICHIGAN VOTER: Yeah! And Senator Obama, why did you and John Edwards remove yourselves from the ballot in my state? You really messed things up for us out here with that "Uncommitted" nonsense.

BLOGGER: And what about the other states that moved their primaries? Why weren't they penalized like Michigan and Florida? Could it be because you thought Obama would win them?

BRAZILE [stepping forward]: What the hell are these people talking about? Who do they think they are? We make the rules here - did you not see that my committee is called the RULES Committee? Sheesh! Just face it, you're not getting into Obama for America. You don't deserve it because you preferred that pandering triangulator to my guy. You're out! Auf freaking wiedersehn! Howard, give me a hand here!

[HOWARD DEAN comes back in and he and BRAZILE usher the Michigan and Florida voters and the inconvenient blogger out. HOWARD DEAN disappears again behind the curtain.]

OBAMA: This stage is looking better and better. Now, how about African-American voters? What do they have to say for themselves! [aside] As if I didn't know the answer to THAT one.

AA VOTER #1: We are behind you 93 percent!

AA VOTER #2: We love you, Barack!

AXELROD [satisfied]: Well, I think they're in, don't you, Michelle?

MICHELLE: Oh, absoLUTEly. You all are privileged to join Obama for America! Don't mind Barack's lectures on how you need to take more personal responsibility and all that crap. You know liberal white folks eat that shit up. Am I right? Anyway, you're in. You can go stand over there.

[BRAZILE, smiling, ushers them over to a spot on the other side of the runway. A sign hangs over it reading "Obama for America. Yes, We Can!"]

OBAMA [rubbing his hands]: Okay, we're really making progress now. Hey, what about this group - the, um, blogosphere?

AXELROD: Oh, they're definitely in - all except those bitter, delusional, racist, menopausal PUMAs. Go take your places, folks, you earned it!

[Two BLOGGERS go over to the Obama for America sign and stand next to the AA voters].

[A female Clinton voter steps forward.]

CLINTON VOTER: Excuse me, but this is crazy. Are you saying that you don't want us Democrats in the Democratic coalition? You don't want us to vote for you? You don't care if we stay home or vote for McCain in protest?

OBAMA [smiling]: You got it, sweetie! You're out. Auf wiedersehn!

[BRAZILE tries to usher the CLINTON VOTER out.]

CLINTON VOTER: Don't worry, Donna, I'll see MYSELF out - and I'll take my friends with me. [she stalks off the stage, taking all but two voters with her.]

AXELROD AND MICHELLE: Finally! [The bloggers in the Obama for America area cheer exuberantly.]

OBAMA [looking quizzically at the two voters left]: So, uh - who are you two?

NEW VOTER: I'm a new voter! A lot of my friends said they were coming, but they decided to buy the new iPhone instead. Oh well!

WEALTHY LIBERAL: I'm a, well, how do I put this without offending you poor people?

AXELROD: Hahahahaha! We know who you are. Okay, you and New Voter there, you are in. Welcome to Obama for America! [BRAZILE ushers them over to the Obama for America space. There are only six people there - NEW VOTER, TWO AA VOTERS, TWO BLOGGERS and ONE WEALTHY LIBERAL.]

[Awkward silence, as the successful contestants and the judges evaluate each other.]

MICHELLE [a little uncomfortable, aside]: Um, Barack, I thought you said there'd be a lot more of them.

OBAMA: [aside] Don't worry, Michelle. The rest of them will come around before Election Day. After all, who's gonna vote for that assclown McCain? Those polls are a bunch of bull. [Aloud] Congratulations, everyone! You are now part of the New Democratic Coalition. You are the ones you've been waiting for!

NEW VOTER: Omigod, I've never won anything before! I'm so excited! I'll bet we win a full withdrawal from Iraq!

AA VOTER: You think so? That would be fantastic! I hope it's universal health care. I'm a working mother and I sure could use it.

WEALTHY LIBERAL: Oooh, is it a serious commitment to countering the effects of climate change? I am really looking forward to that!

BLOGGER: I can't WAIT to get our Constitution back. I'll bet we're going to get a filibuster of that stupid FISA bill! No more spying on Americans!

[They all start talking at once. Unnoticed, OBAMA, MICHELLE, AXELROD and BRAZILE shrug, and start walking out a side door.]

BRAZILE: Jeez. What a bunch of whiners. If they wanted all that stuff, they should have voted for Kucinich, Edwards, or God forbid, Hillary.

AXELROD: Really. I mean, Barack might have promised some of those things, but those people should have known they were just best-case scenarios. Who keeps campaign promises anyway? Why don't they just ask for a pony or something?

OBAMA: I sure hope they don't think it's my job to do what THEY want. I don't even let the Party Leaders tell me what to do!

MICHELLE: Hey Barack? What exactly ARE you planning to do once you get into the Oval Office?

[All judges stop their exits. Brief pause while all look at Obama. He is stumped for a second, then grins.]

OBAMA: No one knows! That's the beauty of how David has run my campaign. All things to all people!

AXELROD: You got it, Barack. Let's hope those contestants over there don't figure it out before the election, though.

BRAZILE: You said it. Let's get out of here, people! [EXEUNT ALL JUDGES.]

[LIGHTS OUT]

Wow! I am absolutely disgusted. Can you BELIEVE that a reputable magazine would put a picture this offensive on their cover?

What? You were expecting me to feel sorry for Barack Obama because the New Yorker, the FUCKING NEW YORKER, made fun of the rightwing's scaremongering about him on its cover?

FYI, Senator Obama, the New Yorker is part of the Liberal Media. In reality. The tiny, eeny weeny Liberal Media, which has very few members at this point, so you must be conversant with the three or four publications which belong to this nearly-microscopic organization.

Are you this dumb, or do you think we are? The New Yorker is laughing at people who think you and Michelle are terrorists, with a flag burning in your fireplace and a picture of Bin Laden on your mantle. They are making fun of the "politics of fear." Hey, guess what? The issue is called "The Politics of Fear!" Quelle coincidence!

Please don't pretend you didn't understand what this was about, Senator. That is simply not credible. Anyone with a functioning brain understood, and you surely possess one. And it's really getting quite tiresome and frustrating to see you fulfill every rightwing narrative about Democrats. Wimpy? You betcha. The attacks practically write themselves. If Obama can't face a magazine cover - a JOKING magazine cover - then how is he going to deal with terrorism? Is he really ready to answer the red phone? OMG What About The Children!!!111!!!!

It seems like Senator Obama's campaign has become addicted to the politics of distraction. He is not doing well against McCain in the national polls, had a much worse-than-projected fundraising month, and has been taking a lot of flak from his more liberal supporters on his vote on the FISA Amendment bill. So he has found something to be upset about - much in the same way that he found something to be upset about in Hillary's innocuous statement about RFK, just as the latest pastor disastor (Reverend Pfleger) was about to hit the media.

A word to the wise, Senator. Please stop with the faux-rage and fainting spells every time someone even mentions the fact that you are African American. A "historic" candidate who refuses to acknowledge why his candidacy is historic, yet plays the race card every single time any sort of bump arises in his campaign, is cynical in the extreme. A "new kind of politics" indeed - but one that will appeal less and less to a weary public exhausted by the constant cries of racism over nothing.

In the 2004 election, the Republicans were the ones who used wolves to try and scare people into voting for them. In the 2008 election, to our shame, the Democrats are the ones crying wolf.

I am now counting Craig Crawford as a PUMA, just because he tells the truth about Obama's presumptuous nominee status and how very shaky it is. (Yes, the truth is out there, but so few "journalists" see fit to write about it!)

With the dust settled on the primary season, one thing is clear: Obama is the presumed nominee thanks only to superdelegates. He never did win enough pledged delegates to reach the winning number, falling about 350 votes short. His expected victory stems from beating Clinton among superdelegates 463-257, according to a tally on Real Clear Politics.

All the more reason for Obama to make sure that there is no roll call including Clinton's name on the ballot at the national convention -- which a few die hard fans of the former First Lady are still clamoring for.

This is my only quibble with Crawford's otherwise excellent piece: to call millions of people "a few die hard fans" is award-worthy spin. Otherwise, it's a great point, and I don't think many people realize that Obama's DNC is trying to prevent Hillary from taking her rightful place on the ballot at the Convention. This would be ridiculous and completely against Democratic Party tradition and rules. THIS IS A TIE, FOLKS. I've been saying that since February. If there is a fair fight to break the tie at the Convention, and Obama wins anyway, then that will go a long way towards dispelling the illegitimacy that surrounds Obama's current status as presumptive nominee. Who knows, it might even give PUMAs a reason to vote for him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Crawford; please continue.

Why highlight just how close the Democratic contest really was? And there is certainly no gain for Obama in dwelling on how he had to depend on superdelegates to win the nomination. [emphasis mine]

Why no, Mr. Crawford, there isn't, especially when one remembers that until it was clear that Hillary was going to win the popular vote DESPITE the DNC's shenanigans in Florida and Michigan, Obama and his surrogates were all screaming about how the SuperDelegates should not decide the nomination and the "will of the people" should rule.

Remember this gem, during Obama's peak in February, from Donna Brazile, "uncommitted" superdelegate?

Democratic strategist Donna Brazile — who managed Al Gore's 2000 presidential campaign and is herself a superdelegate — says she will quit her position within the Democratic Party if her superdelegate colleagues decide the party's nomination.

[snip]

As Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama continue to run neck-and-neck in amassing the total delegates needed to win the nomination, some have suggested that the party's superdelegates — comprising party activists and high-ranking officials — could make the deciding vote.

But Brazile says the superdelegate vote "should reflect the will of the people."

Many millions of Hillary supporters have breathlessly awaited Brazile's resignation, to no avail. Oh, Donna, Donna, why do you disappoint us so? And as for the "will of the people," well, that meme has quietly disappeared too, considering that many of Obama's most powerful SuperD's would have to don their capes and fly on over to Hillary's side. Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, all of the New York SD's...need I go on?

Doesn't matter, I will anyway. Let's see if I can find anything else from the Obama camp about how the superdelegates should vote as their districts voted. Be right back, or brb, as the kids say on their IM chatty thingies.

Aha! Here's a good one. Looks like Moveon.org, which threw its muscle behind Obama very early in the primaries, used its political power to pressure superdelegates to vote the way their districts voted. This was, again, during Obama's peak in February. The salient paragraph:

MoveOn.org and the Obama camp argue that the elected delegates should vote in line with the will of their constituents. Earlier this week, MoveOn sent a note out to its 3.2 million members asking them to sign a petition to that effect. It's the first time the public has lobbied superdelegates to a convention, says Larry Sabato, a political science professor at the University of Virginia. "The public has never had reason to lobby them before."

Good thing the Obamans can change their "principles" as quickly as chameleons change their colors.

Did I say "the Obamans?" My mistake. I should have said, "some Obama supporters." Because a new group of former Obama supporters has been created. They are mad as hell, and they won't vote for Obama any more. The site got more than 50,000 hits in the first 24 hours of its creation. Welcome, PUMA newbies!

If I were Democratic superdelegates, I'd be paying very, very close attention to PUMA. We are a true grassroots movement filled with internet-savvy, passionate activists from all sides of the political spectrum. And we have the money to help out our candidate when she is feeling "periodically down" because her campaign debt is being used as a blackmailing tool by the DNC.

So, Democratic Party Leaders, put your thinking caps on and find an excuse to nominate the winning candidate in August. In the end, self-interest may do the trick. Or do you really want to be on the Obama train when it crashes in November?

Great news!

I am honored to say that Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) has contacted me and asked me to interview her about her new book, "Rumors of Our Progress Have Been Greatly Exaggerated."

The book is a clear, information-packed, yet entertaining and uplifting look at how women are doing in our society. It also offers concrete action items what we can do as activists on both the micro and macro level in order to better the lives of women in America.

Ms. Maloney has penned an eye-opening must-read for men AND women, as the book is not a polemic, but a fact-based dissection of all the ways in which women still lag behind men in every measurable way: pay, vacation time, job opportunities, vulnerability to sexual harrassment and other abuses of power. All this, and I'm still reading the second chapter!

I have found throughout the primary season that most people don't seem to understand and accept the premise that there is still an enormous amount of institutionalized sexism in America. Reading this book will disabuse people of that notion in short order.

If feminism and gender equality interest you - and they'd damn well better! ;-) - then I'm sure you'll enjoy my upcoming interview with the fascinating, well-informed and tireless Congresswoman Maloney.

Now I hope you'll excuse me - I've got to get back to my reading.

On July 4th, I wrote a post about losing faith in the Democratic Brand. Today, I am explaining my strategic plans for saving it - and why they do not include voting for Barack Obama.

The DNC is currently bound and determined to nominate Obama for President. (I believe the fix has been in since 2004, personally.) They have allowed him to take over the DNC and move the headquarters to Chicago; they have allowed him to decide that Howard Dean gets to keep his job; and they've chosen a giant football stadium in which he is to accept his nomination on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. They are backing their man, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

There's only one problem: Obama does not appeal to the Democratic base. The working class, by and large - Latinos, whites, Asians and some African-Americans, all registered Democrats - did not support the Senator from Illinois in the primaries. And according to CNN, the number of Hillary's supporters who are saying they would support Obama if nominated is actually going down, while 43% of Democrats still say they would prefer her to be the nominee. This is all despite Hillary getting the worst press imaginable, her suspending her campaign and going on fundraising "Unity" missions with Obama, and her virtual absence from the spotlight for more than a month.

I will not elaborate on my incredible frustration with the Party for picking one of the worst candidates I have ever seen in my lifetime to go up against John McCain for the presidency. No, I will leave that to the eloquent and fantabulous riverdaughter. My purpose today is to go beyond the nomination and project forward into the possible presidencies of all three candidates: Clinton, Obama and McCain.

Honestly, I think that whomever wins in November will have an absolutely terrible first term. The economy is simply in free-fall. We are looking at stagflation and a looming Great Depression, in my opinion. Thanks to eight years of lawless, consequence-free behavior by the BFEE (Bush Family Evil Empire), our Constitution is disintegrating. The separation of powers, the laws of habeas corpus, the wall between church and state, the right to privacy and to free speech - all have been abridged or almost destroyed by BushCheney Inc. And let's not forget our seeming inability to do anything constructive regarding Iraq and Afghanistan. Thanks to the "surge," more troops are actually in Iraq than there were before the Democratic Congress was elected to bring them home. Heckuva job, Congresscritters! (Word is, thanks to Dennis Kucinich's persistence, Nancy Pelosi is now considering setting the table for impeachment. Wow, can you say too little, too late?)

The next President will have a lot of extremely difficult choices to make, and the chances are that when the country is not 100% fixed in four years, there will be a massive backlash against whomever that President will be. So, who do we want to suffer those consequences - Obama, McCain or Clinton? I believe it should be either McCain or Clinton, and here's why.

Trust me, I know McCain is just atrocious. I don't believe one word of his latest "I'm a moderate! Really really!" advertising. I think he will do nothing to remedy the effects of Bush's disastrous presidency. However, he clearly has no interest in running for a second term, so he will be free to be more independent than any other Republican nominee would be. I also believe that he can and will be constrained by a much larger majority in Congress, especially since some Republicans have started voting with Democrats on some issues. Thus, I believe his presidency would put the Congress back into a stronger place institutionally, and give them a chance to prove that they are truly interested in doing what's right for this country. (And if they don't, PUMA should make them. I will post more on what I think the future of PUMA should be at a later date.)

A McCain presidency might not be as bad as we think. It does depend on whom he picks as his VP, and whether or not that person would be a viable presidential candidate in 2012. And that brings me to my second possibility: an Obama presidency.

Unfortunately, I don't believe Obama would be a strong Democratic President. What we need now is someone who will absolutely repudiate the disastrous policies of George W. Bush. 80% of the country believes we are going in the wrong direction. Yet Obama's entire campaign is based on courting Republicans and Independents and "unifying" with them. Even worse, he agrees with some of the worst of the Deciderer's policies, as he has shown in the past two weeks. Warrantless wiretapping and telecom immunity? Just fine. Faith-based initiatives? Let's do more! And the war? Well, golly, he might need to refine that Iraq withdrawal policy just a wee bit. Even a veto-proof majority Democratic Congress just might be more likely to go along with this Republican bullshit if it's a Democratic President who wants it.

Muddling and confusion are NOT what the Democratic brand needs right now. The country has enormous problems. We need an FDR, and at best, Obama is a Carter. (At BEST. Unlike Carter, I don't think Obama has a prayer of being elected, but whatever.) Remember what happened after Carter was President for one term? Do the words "twelve years of Republican dominance" mean anything to you? Even worse, like Carter, Obama has shown no ability to beat back the Republican scream machine, so he will get blamed for the economy, the war and the energy crisis. And then where will the Democrats be? NOT in a position to win the White House in 2012 - not even if Hillary runs again. And that brings me to the best-case scenario: Hillary Clinton as President.

I think there's no doubt that if Hillary is our next President, she is also in for a horrible time. And how! Her Party will give her trouble because she will push for UHC, meaningful economic and social reform, major investments in infrastructure and the greening of energy sources...in other words, she'll make them do the hard work, and they don't want to! The press will be all over her and Bill, and despite her incredible competence and detailed plans for moving the country forward, I predict she won't be able to turn things completely around in just four years.

But guess what?

She can handle it.

That's really what it comes down to. You saw Hillary in those debates, where she was getting attacked from all sides, and she handled it. She's risen in popularity and strength despite the ugliest, nastiest attacks her own Party could throw at her. All she had to do was stop listening to Mark Penn and be herself. She handled it. She has withstood the barrage of insults, sexism and outright lies the media has perpetrated against her and emerged as a working-class hero. She handled it.

And in the end, should she prevail against The Fix and beat McCain in November, she will be able to persuade the American people to vote for her again, just like her husband did in 1996.

She will handle it.

And isn't that what we need to happen if we ever want to be a credible alternative to the Republicans again?

So don't tell me I have to vote for Obama. It's not going to happen. Because I'm thinking about the future of the country and the Party, and Obama would be bad for both.

He can't handle it.

Strategery. It's not just for Republicans any more.

PUMA!

THE SCENE: The bottom of a church basement, the place of many an AA meeting. Coffee cups, cigarette butts and cookie crumbs are strewn everywhere. A long cafeteria-style table is at the front of the room, with a podium next to it. Seated at the table are MARKOS MOULITSAS, CHRIS BOWERS, ARMANDO LLORENS (BIG TENT DEMOCRAT), JOHN ARAVOSIS, ANDREW SULLIVAN and ARIANNA HUFFINGTON. The boys all wear chinos and button-down shirts. KOS has an orange band around his head - almost like a crown. ARIANNA is wearing her traditional camisole-as-shirt and eyeing the men flirtatiously. SULLIVAN sports a snappy bowtie.

At the podium are the authors of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You," GREG BEHRENDT and LIZ TUCILLO. Throughout this whole play, GREG and LIZ speak to the bloggers in a typical motivational-speaker way - in other words, as if they are eight-year-old children.

Above the podium a sign reads, "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." GREG and LIZ also have nametags on. LIZ bangs a gavel to bring the meeting to order.

LIZ (brightly): Hello, everyone! I'm Liz -

GREG: And I'm Greg -

TOGETHER: And welcome to, He's Just Not That Into You!

LIZ [sobering quickly]: Today, we're here to talk to you about Senator Barack Obama. You all supported him pretty strongly in the primaries, didn't you? [The bloggers all nod.] Now, why did you do that?

BTD: I didn't REALLY like him better. I just thought he was more electable than Hillary.

KOS: He wasn't Hillary! I hate that bitch! And besides, the Clinton Era is over. O-V-E-R!! The time of the blogger is NOW! We are crashing the gate! Obama is the progressive leader who will make our concerns his own. Power to the people!

ARAVOSIS and HUFFINGTON: Yeah! What he said!

SULLIVAN: I hate Hillary too, but Obama? He is Jesus and Elvis. He is the most historic, transformational -

GREG: Um, yes, we get it. Thank you, Andrew. Chris, what about you?

BOWERS: Obama is just like me! We drink the same beer PBR OMG OMG we go to Whole Foods!!! [becomes a little dizzy; ARIANNA solicitously pats his arm and offers him a drink of water]

LIZ: Whoa, take it easy there, Chris. I think we understand. Thanks, everyone, for your input. So, you guys all picked Obama as the nominee, and he won. Good for you!

[Everyone high-fives - HUFFINGTON leans forward, smiling and flashing her cleavage a bit.]

GREG: Yes, good for you. Now, let's talk about what's been happening lately. I heard he's been going back on his promises and has stopped returning your calls. No matter what you do, you can't seem to get his attention - and now he's done something that really hurts your feelings. He voted to legalize Bush's warrantless wiretapping and immunize the telecom companies from prosecution. Is that about on target?

BTD: Ha! Don't make me out to be like one of these losers. I always saw Obama clearly. Pols are pols. Either he was lying then or he's lying now, but no matter what, I'm going to vote for him because he's a Democrat.

SULLIVAN: Oh, the FISA thing is no big deal. What is starting to bother me is his personality. Maybe he's a little too full of himself lately. Still, there's no denying what a transformational moment his presidency would be!

BOWERS: Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo. Hey, look at this pretty electoral map I made!

KOS: I'm very fucking annoyed. Those ridiculous PUMAs will only feel vindicated now. Of course, everyone knows he will still be a great President, so it will all work out in the end.

HUFFINGTON: Well, I have nothing to say on the matter. I'd rather talk about Karl Rove!

ARAVOSIS: Barack who? It was the Senate that passed the FISA bill.

[LIZ and GREG look at each other, puzzled.]

LIZ: Gosh, folks, you don't seem to be getting what I'm saying here. Barack Obama promised to filibuster the FISA amendment bill if it contained telecom immunity. This was very important to all of you. You thought it made him special and progressive and unique. Then, he went back on his promise. Worse than that, Hillary Clinton kept her promise and voted against telecom immunity, so it looks like maybe you were wrong to hate her so. Meanwhile, Senator Obama has been "refining" more positions lately - including pretending he did not promise to immediately withdraw troops from Iraq and have everyone home in 16 months - but he says he will, right on his website!

Don't you feel betrayed, like Joan Walsh? Don't you feel like maybe, just maybe, he's not that into you?

[All the bloggers squirm in their seats and are silent. Finally KOS takes the lead.]

KOS [standing]: Jesus Christ. I don't have to take this crap. Obama's my guy and I'm sticking by him.

BOWERS: [standing] Me too. And he loves me, he really does. I know it in my heart! He'll come back to me after he's President.

BTD [standing, disgusted]: Ahhhh, this New Age crap is for the birds. Obama's a Democrat and that's all I care about. I'm outta here.

ARAVOSIS: [standing] McCain sucks. Obama forever!

HUFFINGTON: [standing] Well I, personally, have no problems with what Obama did on FISA. He's just pandering to get elected. I AM the one I've been waiting for. Good-bye! [they are all leaving]

SULLIVAN: [standing] Well, I personally think Obama's just fine, as long as he doesn't get too big a head. I don't even know what I'm doing here. Later! [he follows the others out the door]

[LIZ and GREG look at each other in astonishment. Their cheery personas fall away and they become matter-of-fact. They shrug, then get to work cleaning up the coffee cups.]

LIZ: Worst case of denial I ever saw.

GREG: You said it, sister.

[LIGHTS OUT]