Oooh, nuance!

What in the world is Chris Matthews thinking, and why must he spew his noisome brain goo in my general direction?

While discussing the Democratic presidential candidates on the August 8 edition of MSNBC's Hardball, host Chris Matthews asserted: "I don't see a big, beefy alternative to [Sen.] Hillary Clinton [D-NY] -- a big guy. You know what I mean? An ... every-way big guy. I don't see one out there. I see a lot of slight, skinny, second- and third-rate candidates." Matthews prefaced his comment by saying, "I guess I'm thinking of an Eddie Rendell were in the race -- the governor of Pennsylvania -- or if [former Vice President] Al Gore were in the race or someone else who's a good heavyweight to be running."

[snip]

Matthews' characterization of Gore as "a good heavyweight" marks a change from his previous characterizations of Gore. As Media Matters noted, on the December 21, 2006, edition of Hardball, Matthews asked Washington Times editorial page editor Tony Blankley if Gore was "in fighting weight" and then said: "He's the Hindenburg."

[snip]

As Media Matters has documented, Matthews has previously touted the purportedly presidential attributes of each of the leading Republicans running for president:

• On the May 2, 2006, edition of Hardball, Matthews said of former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, "He looks like [a] president to me."
• On the November 19, 2006, edition of the NBC-syndicated The Chris Matthews Show, Matthews and his panel gushed over Sen. John McCain (AZ), calling him "passionate," "a smart hawk," and "kind of like Martin Luther." On the March 29 Hardball, Matthews stated: "John McCain certainly deserves to be president, based on his contribution to this country over the years."
• On January 19, Matthews said of former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney: "He has the perfect chin, the perfect hair, he looks right." On February 13, Matthews said Romney has "got a great chin, I've noticed."

Media Matters also noted that, during the July 18, 2006, edition of NBC's The Tonight Show, Matthews predicted a Giuliani victory in 2008, but also asserted: "I hope the American people take the next election very seriously and don't just vote partisan ... or personality or who has the happiest smile ... but picks the person that makes us feel the safest."

Oh, Tweety. Your mancrushes are horrifically embarrassing. You contradict yourself constantly. Your opinions are uninformed and shallower than the contestants on "The Bachelor".

I beg you. Come out of the closet and get a show on Logo TV discussing the hot manliness of all the Republican candidates. You can sniff Fred Thompson's underwear if you want. But stop, stop masquerading as someone who is fit to be listened to be intelligent people. Your vapidity and endless wanking just make us want to vomit.