The return address was interesting: "Obama for America." What is "Obama for America" - a new game show? Seriously, shouldn't there be somewhere, something that admits that Barack Obama was elected as a Democrat, even though he hasn't campaigned like one? "Obama for America" sounds suspiciously like "Connecticut for Lieberman" to me. You know, that phony third party that Lieberman used in order to avoid his primary loss to Ned Lamont and run for Senate anyway? Lieberman was Obama's Senate mentor for a while; looks like Obama might have learned some very poor lessons from "Joementum."
The letter itself started with the whole phony Axelrovian story of Obama The Underdog. "We started with just two cans and a string connecting them." Uh, what we, Kemosabe? I have never been a part of your campaign. I am not one of your supporters. Therefore, I am assuming that this is the royal "We," a construction that, like most things about you these days, makes me very nervous. Finally, don't give me that "We beat the Big Scary Clinton Machine!!11!!!" crap. You and the DNC have been conspiring for a long time to make sure the nomination goes to you. Why else would Florida and Michigan have been punished the way they were, when the other "early" states were not punished at all? Why else would the takeover of the DNC have happened BEFORE you were officially nominated? We're onto you, pal. Don't try to okie-doke, bamboozle and hoodwink us, mmmmkay?
After that inauspicious beginning, I skipped to the part I had heard about on the Internets. I am supposed to send "Obama for America" money along with this pledge:
"Dear Barack, I agree! We are the ones we've been waiting for...we are the change we seek. You can count on me to support you and our movement for change all the way to the White House."
Is this guy a political candidate, or Dr. Phil? Is the Obama "movement" a movement to effect specific changes, or just a bunch of people wanting to feel good about themselves? What are the goals of this movement?
Oh, here they are!
Change is a tax code that rewards work instead of wealth. Change is a health care plan that guarantees insurance to every American who wants it, and an education policy that gives every child a chance at success.
Change is ending a war in Iraq that should never have been authorized, and finishing a war against al-Qaida in Afghanistan that should never have been ignored.
That's it? New Deal, anyone? Creating jobs through building infrastructure? The environmental crisis? Millions of people losing their homes?
[cricket cricket cricket]
No wonder Oprah was stumping for him. What a platitude-spewing empty suit Obama is.
I searched in vain for any plan whatsoever for me (not him) to effect these changes. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
So for all this blather about Unity, this "movement" is about one thing: Electing Barack Obama. There is no party - it's "Obama for America." There is no platform - it's vague nonsense about getting us out of Iraq (still slamming Hillary for "authorizing" the war, which the AUMF did not do, of course) and "finishing the job" in Afghanistan, about cutting taxes on the middle class, offering health care to "those who want it" and improving education. IAAO - It's All About Obama.
But what if you don't like Obama?
Who does Obama for America have in its grand movement, really? Wealthy liberals, African Americans (who came out 93% for John Kerry in 2004) and young voters?
Uh, isn't that the same coalition we always have in national elections? Where are the soccer moms, the blue-collar workers, the registered Democrats who so often vote Republican? Where are the voters in swing states that carry Democrats to such rare victories in Presidential elections?
Oh, yes. They voted for Hillary Clinton. And they're not coming to Obama. But don't worry - he doesn't need them to win. He'll win Virginia, North Carolina and some Western states...
Don't give up, Hillary. Take some time off, think for a while, and then come back strong. Fight for the nomination that would have been yours without this dirty back-room Chicago-style wheeling and dealing.
We need a President who sees us, and not just herself, when she looks in the mirror. If we truly want Unity, and not Submission, we will nominate the one who united the Democrats behind her: Hillary Clinton.
Until then: P.U.M.A.!