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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear PUMAs, Stop Paying Attention! A Letter from the DNC/Obama Conglomerate to Over-Informed PUMA Voters

Dear PUMAs,

Please, please, please stop paying attention to what we are doing. Our nerves are shot, thinking that our pre-planned installation of Barack Obama might not go through! Seriously, kitties - you think Howard Dean screamed in Iowa? You should hear him now!

We honestly thought everyone would unify behind Obama! Um, well, okay, we didn't really think that, since we've repeatedly told you we don't need you to win. But, ha ha, we were just kidding when we said you usually voted Republican! Can't you all take a joke?

Okay, maybe you all think Obama himself is a joke. Fair enough. He certainly has made a lot of gaffes lately. Tee-hee - he even claimed credit for legislation created by the Senate Banking Committee, calling it "my committee!" We thought it was hilarious that he pretended to head up a committee of which he is not even a member. Gotta love that Obama chutzpah! Ooooh-weeee!

Shouldn't you all be on vacation or something? Why have you been noticing how much Obama's positions are starting to resemble a rightwing Republican's? On everything from abortion to the Fourth Amendment to the war in Iraq, he's been throwing mainstream Democratic positions out the window, or as you would say, "under the bus." But if we tell you he's a Democrat, he's a Democrat! Why are you questioning our authoriteh?

Another thing. What is with this ridiculous insistence on Hillary's name being placed into the nomination at the Convention? Just because it's always been done that way is no reason to steal the nomination, which he has not yet earned, away from Obama! What's the matter, are you all racists or something?

In conclusion, just get over it. Acknowledge that we own your vote. And after the election, we don't expect to hear a peep out of you ever again, because we are the ones you've been waiting for.

Yours In Obama For America,



Anonymous said...

Yep! bobble head rapsnapping, no extra charge, whoooYunhhh. Yep!

sister of ye said...

I'm drafting my reply to the DNC. How exactly do you spell "pppppbbbthhhtthhhh!"?

waiting4hrc said...

Absolutely hilarious! Had me in stitches. The truth can be so funny... and refreshing!

Timmy B said...

Howard Dean screamed in Iowa? You should hear him now!

That's funny!