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Saturday, August 9, 2008

The Krugman Speaketh

Is this guy good, or what?

...know-nothingism — the insistence that there are simple, brute-force, instant-gratification answers to every problem, and that there’s something effeminate and weak about anyone who suggests otherwise — has become the core of Republican policy and political strategy. The party’s de facto slogan has become: “Real men don’t think things through.”

Or, as we Iraq War protesters said in 2003, "Yee-HAW! is not a foreign policy." (And neither is "Bring It On," as our troops in Iraq found out to their great sorrow.)

In the case of oil, this takes the form of pretending that more drilling would produce fast relief at the gas pump. In fact, earlier this week Republicans in Congress actually claimed credit for the recent fall in oil prices: “The market is responding to the fact that we are here talking,” said Representative John Shadegg.

What about the experts at the Department of Energy who say that it would take years before offshore drilling would yield any oil at all, and that even then the effect on prices at the pump would be “insignificant”? Presumably they’re just a bunch of wimps, probably Democrats. And the Democrats, as Representative Michele Bachmann assures us, “want Americans to move to the urban core, live in tenements, take light rail to their government jobs.”

Is this political pitch too dumb to succeed? Don’t count on it.

Indeed, don't count on it. Black-and-white solutions are very appealing to Americans who are working 80 hours a week just to make ends meet. They don't have time or energy to sift through the nuances of energy policy, which will get lost or twisted by the corporate media in translation.

Once again, I point to the superior issue-framing skills of Republicans. They know that people need immediate relief from high gas prices, but they have no intention of doing anything that would work in the long run. (John McCain's gas tax holiday idea would have done nothing but give the oil companies more profits, whereas Hillary's would have at least made the oil companies pay the difference.)

So, how to make it seem like they are better on energy than Democrats? Take an idea that will make their buddies a lot of short-term money, and tie it to a populist agenda. Note: If you want to do this, it helps to be a shameless, sociopathic corporate shill, because no public servant with a shred of conscience would dupe the American people in such a destructive manner.

The truth is, off-shore drilling is completely, utterly pointless. It will OF COURSE not decrease gas prices in any way. The amount of oil gained thereby will be negligible, and will take ten years to extract.

Yes, I said TEN YEARS.

Do you know what's going to happen in ten years if we are still depending on oil for our energy? No one knows for sure, but why in God's name would we want to find out? The signs of climate change are all around us, and getting worse every year. Oil is a non-renewable resource that is getting scarcer and scarcer. Even worse, we invade countries and occupy them in order to get it.

For Christ's sake, can't we just say "Enough already, we get it, it's time to move on, oil is so 20th Century, and we're tired of fighting wars and killing and maiming hundreds of thousands of people to obtain it." Or is that just too much honesty for Democrats?

The answer is no, not for all of them. Hillary Clinton laid out a detailed, inclusive energy plan in April of 2006. Here is what she had to say about continuing to rely on oil for our energy needs.

Now, energy is at the heart of the three great challenges we face as a nation: How do we keep our economy strong in a more competitive world? How do we keep our communities safe in a more dangerous world? And how do we protect our values in a rapidly changing world?

Our present system of energy is weakening our national security, hurting our pocketbooks, violating our common values and threatening our children's future.

Right now, instead of national security dictating our energy policy, our failed energy policy dictates our national security.

Could that be more clear? I don't think so.

More recently, on July 23rd of this year, she had this to say about offshore drilling:

Senator Clinton criticized the idea that additional off-shore drilling would provide any substantive solutions for America’s short or long term energy challenges.

“Drilling is the wrong answer. It will do nothing right now. It is literally a Shell game, or an Exxon Mobile game. It's designed to serve the political interests of vulnerable Republicans and the financial interests of profit-rich oil companies. Average Americans will not see a dime,” Senator Clinton said. “The oil companies say, ‘Drill,’ and the President and the Vice President say, ‘How deep?’ I don't think that's the smartest, most effective answer.”

You see how she did that? She tied offshore drilling to the two least popular politicians in America right now and explained quite clearly that it is the WRONG ANSWER. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The Senator from New York is a master of framing. She gets people to agree with her, but doesn't compromise her principles in order to do so. Too bad she's only a girl, or who knows, someone that smart, savvy and progressive might be a good candidate for President someday. Oh, if only she had that scrap of flesh hanging off her pelvis!

Krugman hits hardest in his final paragraph.

In any case, remember this the next time someone calls for an end to partisanship, for working together to solve the country’s problems. It’s not going to happen — not as long as one of America’s two great parties believes that when it comes to politics, stupidity is the best policy.


I think Senator Obama has a red imprint of Krugman's palm on his cheek right about now. That smackdown reached all the way to Hawaii, where our presumptuous nominee is now vacationing. Faux-Presidenting is Hard Work (TM).

Let's hope the PUMA Conference in DC is coming up with all kinds of creative, wonderful ideas for keeping the pressure on the SuperDelegates, Howard Dean and the DNC to give Hillary a fair shot at the Convention. Because as we know, Obama is far too willing to allow Republicans to frame the debate on almost every issue, including the economy and Iraq (on which he is now falling behind John McCain in terms of trust).

To paraphrase the war protesters mentioned earlier, "Kumbaya is not a governing strategy."

Friday, August 8, 2008

Those People, or Some People?

When I read about how Barack Obama had referred to Hillary Clinton's supporters as "those people," with trademark dismissal and contempt, I was reminded of two things:

1) It's On Purpose.

2) Mama Rose.



For those that are unfamiliar with the musical "Gypsy," it is based on the true story of the stripper Gypsy Rose Lee. Her mother, Mama Rose, was the classic narcissistic stage mother, whose insistence on making it in show business (despite her lack of talent) ruined her family and drove her crazy. Mama Rose didn't care about anyone but herself, and forced her children to live a life of lies in order to further her personal ambitions and delusions of grandeur.

Eventually, Mama Rose is finally forced to face the reality that she is washed up, never had it, never will, and that her dreams will never come true. But this reality is too much, and she soon sinks back into her dreamworld.



Sound familiar?

In any rational universe, Barack Obama would not be considered qualified for the office of the Presidency. He has a resume that would shame another State Senator - a record of non-accomplishment that had to be puffed up by his mentor, Emil Jones, at the very end of his undistinguished tenure. As for his current record, it's decent but scanty, since he began running for President the moment his rear end hit that chair.

Obama has never won a strongly contested election - his successful state senate run, thanks to his underhanded tactics, had no opposition, and he won his current seat against that electoral juggernaut, Republican wackadoodle Alan Keyes. Yes, yes, he "won" the primary election, if you weigh votes from red-state caucuses as heavily as you do primary votes from blue states and swing states. But only the Democrats would be moronic enough to do so, since the entire nominating process is meant to select a General Election winner. As we know, but Obamans do not seem to realize, the General Election is not a caucus, and Idaho, Utah and Kansas will not be going Democratic this year. In order to feed Obama's delusions, the DNC enabled him by kneecapping Hillary's strongest, most delegate-rich states in the primaries. Had Michigan and Florida "counted," Hillary would be the nominee right now.

So, why would Obama Rose think he has what it takes to be President? On what basis did he decide that he deserved his shot at the big time? A non-existent resume. A thin voting record. A couple of good speeches. Seemingly-sound policies and positions that he changes or discards at a moment's notice.

Does he really think he's got the right stuff?

The American people don't think so. He didn't win the popular vote. He didn't win any of the big swing states in the primaries, and now the polls show he's losing them to John McCain, or is winning them, but within the margin of error. Moreover, he is massively underperforming generic Democrats on a whole range of issues, including the war in Iraq and the economy. Sorry, folks, that's the electoral kiss of death.

But Obama Rose shoulders on, insisting it's his turn no matter what. He pooh-poohs "those people" who don't understand His Greatness. They don't deserve him. They don't listen to him. They don't understand him. His fingers are in his ears and he's singing as loudly as he can.

Unfortunately, Senator Obama's fate is in our hands. Somewhere, somehow, I believe he knows it, and that we, the "some people," have rejected him as soundly as Mama Rose was rejected by Broadway. Down deep in his narcissistic soul, Obama Rose knows he is going to lose this election. Due to his overweening, unreasonable desire to be President, we are now going to be stuck with four more years of Republican ownership of the Executive Branch. His grasping ambition has ruined his family (the American People) and himself.

But it's not his fault. It's all because of "those people." Right, Obama Rose?

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Thursday, August 7, 2008

It's The Economy

And now, we take a short break from discussing the election to talk about the economy.

As "The Critic" used to say, "It STINKS."

In an eerie echo of President Herbert Hoover in 1930, during a Presidential campaign against Roosevelt, following the stock market crash and collapse of numerous smaller banks, Paulson recently appeared on national TV to declare “our banking system is a safe and sound one.” He added that the list of “troubled” banks “is a very manageable situation.” In fact what he did not say was that the US bank deposit insurance fund, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) has a list of problem banks that numbers 90. Not included on that list are banks such as Citigroup, until recently the largest bank in the world.

The statement is hardly reassuring. The California savings bank, IndyMac Bank which was declared insolvent a month ago was not on the FDIC list a week before it collapsed. The reality is the crisis created by “securitizing” millions of home mortgages into new financial instruments and selling the packages to pension funds and investors is unfolding like a snowball rolling down the Swiss Alps.

Indication of the lack of control is the statement just weeks ago by Paulson that “financial institutions must be allowed to fail.” That was two weeks before Paulson went to Congress to ask for “Congressional authority to buy unlimited stakes in and lend to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.” As I noted in my recent piece, Financial Tsunami: The Next Big Wave is Breaking: Fannie Mae Freddie Mac and US Mortgage Debt , those two private companies insured some $6 trillion worth of home mortgages, half the entire US mortgage debt. Paulson defended the request by calling Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae “the only functioning part of the home loan market.”

That comes back to the statement about a “sound banking system”. Can we have a sound banking system where the only functioning part is literally insolvent—its debts greater than its assets?


As we say in the banking biz, YIKES. Isn't it amazing how no one in the corporate media is talking about how serious this situation is? Guess they don't want a run on the banks on top of everything else. You know, high gas prices, high food prices, lack of jobs, adjustable rate mortgages coming due, retail store chains closing all over America...

What? You haven't heard about these closings? Well, here's a partial list from the same article. By the way, 70% of the U.S. GDP is now based on consumer spending.

Ann Taylor closing 117 stores nationwide.
Eddie Bauer to close more stores after closing 27 stores in the first quarter.
Cache, a women’s retailer is closing 20 to 23 stores this year.
Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Catherines closing 150 stores nationwide
Talbots, J. Jill closing stores. Talbots will close all 78 of its kids and men's stores plus another 22 underperforming stores. The 22 stores will be a mix of Talbots women's and J. Jill.
Gap Inc. closing 85 stores
Foot Locker to close 140 stores
Wickes Furniture is going out of business and closing all of its stores. The 37-year-old retailer that targets middle-income customers, filed for bankruptcy protection last month.
Levitz - the furniture retailer, announced it was going out of business and closing all 76 of its stores in December. The retailer dates back to 1910.
Zales, Piercing Pagoda plans to close 82 stores by July 31 followed by closing another 23 underperforming stores.
Disney Store owner has the right to close 98 stores.
Home Depot store closings 15 of them amid a slumping US economy and housing market. The move will affect 1,300 employees. It is the first time the world's largest home improvement store chain has ever closed a flagship store.
CompUSA (CLOSED).
Macy's - 9 stores closed
Movie Gallery – video rental company plans to close 400 of 3,500 Movie Gallery
and Hollywood Video stores in addition to the 520 locations the video rental
chain closed last fall as part of bankruptcy.
Pacific Sunwear - 153 Demo stores closing
Pep Boys - 33 stores of auto parts supplier closing
Sprint Nextel - 125 retail locations to close with 4,000 employees following 5,000 layoffs last year.
J. C. Penney, Lowe's and Office Depot are all scaling back
Ethan Allen Interiors: plans to close 12 of 300 stores to cut costs.
Wilsons the Leather Experts – closing 158 stores
Bombay Company: to close all 384 U.S.-based Bombay Company stores.
KB Toys closing 356 stores around the United States as part of its bankruptcy reorganization.
Dillard's Inc. will close another six stores this year.


One would think that both presumptive presidential nominees would be talking about how we can resolve these matters. Well, at least one would expect Senator Obama to do so, since Democrats have a natural advantage on that issue.

One would be wrong about that.

In a sobering aside, readers should not expect any serious economic remedies for the crisis from a President Barack Obama. Obama’s National Campaign Finance Chairman is Chicago real estate billionaire, Penny Pritzker, who is heir to among other things the Hyatt Hotels. It was Pritzker together with Merrill Lynch ten years ago who first developed the model for securitizing “sub-prime” real estate, the trigger for the current Financial Tsunami crisis.


So, Obama is getting his financial advice from the person who helped create this disaster in the first place.

Wonnnnnnnnderful.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton's shadow is growing. Yesterday, she penned a remarkable Op-Ed in the Wall Street Journal, which made clear to the Republicans that she understands their policy of Disaster Capitalism all too well - and that she will dedicate the rest of her political career to fighting it.

Who would you trust with the economy the most - John McCain, Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton?

I'd like to see some polling on THAT issue.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Paris Hilton for President!

Okay, maybe not. But man, I wish Barack Obama could borrow her sense of humor - and her ad shop.

As you may or may not know, John McCain put out an ad comparing Obama to empty-headed celebrities like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Senator Obama, the hysterions in the Obamasphere, and many opinionators in the corporate media immediately screamed, "RACISM!" because Britney and Paris are white and of course, McCain implied that Obama wanted to have sex with them. (insert eyeroll here) This tactic backfired completely, and allowed McCain's true narrative of Obama as young, vapid and unready to lead to infect the public's brains, completely unchallenged by the Senator from Illinois.

If only Obama had the first fucking clue about how to fight the Republicans, I might feel a little better about him. Indeed, when I first picked Hillary as my favorite waaaaaaaayyyyyy back when (second favorite, since Al Gore wasn't running), it was her experience standing up to the right wing noise machine that attracted me to her. And my first reservations about Obama came when I saw how his vaunted "post-partisan" approach was unlikely to achieve any results. As The Great Krugman said,

As health care goes, so goes the rest of the progressive agenda. Anyone who thinks that the next president can achieve real change without bitter confrontation is living in a fantasy world.


Confrontation is not the same as whining that McCain is being mean to you because you're black. You need to take on the Republics on the issues, and make them back down. Up the ante. No matter what they do, laugh it off and refocus the debate.

Which brings me to President Paris Hilton. Here is her hilarious and pointed rebuttal to McCain's charges that she is a dumb blonde who contributes nothing to society. (Yes, Paris Hilton got the point of the ad and Barack Obama and his supporters didn't. Things that make you go "Hmmmmmmmm.")

"Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity, too. Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot," Hilton said, speaking as she reclined in a pool chair in a revealing bathing suit and a pair of pumps. "But then that wrinkly, white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude."

"I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead," she said.

She then discusses energy policy, and suggests a hybrid of McCain's offshore oil drilling plan and Obama's incentives for new energy technology.

"Energy crisis solved! I'll see you at the debates," she said,
Senator Obama, do you see what she did there? She made fun of herself and of McCain, and then focused on the issues!

And do you know how McCain's people responded?

McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds said Hilton appears to support his candidate's "all of the above" energy solution.

"Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan," Bounds said.
BAM! Wow. Suddenly, we're back to talking about the issues.

If only Barack Obama, instead of screaming "OMG TEH RACISM!!111!!!" had put out an ad that went a little something like this:

"Hi, I'm Barack Obama. Of course, you know that. Maybe John McCain's right, and I AM the biggest celebrity in the world. But that doesn't mean I don't have a plan for a better America.

John McCain wants to stick to outdated technologies like coal, nuclear power and offshore drilling, which would continue to harm our environment and keep us stuck in the 20th Century. My plan emphasizes renewable resources, existing, effective technology like wind and solar power, and will have us completely independent from foreign oil by the year 2018.

Hmmmm. Maybe they like me...for a reason."
This is so simple, Paris Hilton can do it; but apparently, Barack Obama can't. And now, he has been forced to admit that he WAS race-baiting when he talked about not looking like Presidents from the past, and has had to publicly state that John McCain's campaign is cynical, not racist. Now McCain can use that soundbyte against Obama if they do decide to go all Harold Ford on him.

If this is how Obama is going to run the GE, I see a McGovern-like defeat for the Democrats - and possible down-ticket issues in the House and Senate as well.

I sure hope the SuperDelegates have the courage to do their jobs, because it looks like, despite the best efforts of the DNC to prevent any choice at the Convention, Hillary WILL be in nomination and on the ballot.

It's simple, SuperDelegates - do you want to win in November, or do you want to lose?

I'll bet even Paris Hilton could answer that question correctly.
Cross-posted at The Confluence

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Our Post-Racial Paradise: A Play in One Dreamy Act.

(H/T to Garychapelhill for the title)

THE SCENE: President Barack Obama's Oval Office. A wall with a computerized panel and a door occupies center stage left, and the office occupies the remainder of the stage.

The decor of the office has totally changed. The drapes around the room are now printed with the Obama faux-presidential seal. Everywhere are pictures of President Obama, looking saintly and generous. There is also a picture of Michelle and the kids, but it is much smaller and less prominently placed. The American Flag has been redesigned; in the center of the field where the stars were is now a picture of Our Dear Leader.

The man himself sits behind the desk in the Oval Office, garbed in spotless white robes. Above his head, a sign reads "President Barack Obama" in large, elegant letters. He is in deep meditation, or perhaps, is sleeping off the effects of too much "holy water" the night before.

BILL BURTON, Barack Obama's now Chief of Staff, appears at the door. The door speaks in a pleasant, female, robotic voice.


DOOR: Please enter your permanent password.

(BURTON enters a few numbers on the keypad.)

DOOR: Please speak your name.

BURTON: William Burton.

DOOR: Voiceprint authorized. Please state today's password.

BURTON: Ummmmm...Obama is the greatest president that was, is, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen?

DOOR: Password expired. Please state today's password.

BURTON: Ummmmm...(pulls out an iPhone, checks it, smiles) All hail Barack Obama, President Extraordinaire and really awesomely cool dude?

DOOR: Password accepted. (BURTON enters the Oval Office. OBAMA opens his eyes calmly.)

OBAMA: Good morning, Bill.

BURTON: Morning, Mr. President!

OBAMA: Please, sit down. (BURTON does so.) Now, what's on your mind, Bill?

BURTON: Well, it's this "New Racism Handbook" we published last week. Even though our NBC affiliates are over the moon about it, I've been hearing a lot of complaints in the (using air quotes) "blogosphere."

OBAMA (frowning): Really? I thought those guys loved me.

BURTON: Oh, most of them do, sir! But some of them are saying that 10,000 forbidden words are too hard to remember. Words like "arrogant" and "presumptuous" are easy, but some of the scientists are protesting about changing the term "black hole" to "lightwardly challenged hole." And making public racism a crime! They are really not on board with that one.

OBAMA (smiling): Oh, that's okay, Bill. Let me tell you a bit more about my master plan. (getting up and striding commandingly around the room) You see, I wanted to take the troops out of Iraq and transfer them directly to Afghanistan to continue fighting there. But, it turns out, they're already so exhausted from their fourth and fifth tours, they were useless to us. Our mission in Afghanistan, whatever it is, cannot succeed this way. We need more bodies, but Blackwater keeps raising its prices. It's a tough situation.

BURTON: Sounds tough, Mr. President!

OBAMA: So, here's what I'm thinking: No one can possibly remember all 10,000 words. We'll use the warrantless wiretapping George and Dick set up to spy on people and catch them for the crime of public racism. Then, I'll offer them a choice: do prison time, or join the Army. We'll be up to quota in no time, and we can keep sending soldiers over to Afghanistan for 8-10 years, or whenever our mission is completed, whichever comes first! And best of all, no draft! (OBAMA smiles triumphantly, waiting for BURTON's praise)

BURTON (a little late): That's brilliant, Mr. President!

OBAMA: Isn't it? It was all my idea, of course. Now, why don't you go work with Axelrod and Plouffe today. They're hiring a bunch of racism-spotters, and they could use some help.

BURTON: Yessir, Mr. President! (bustles off importantly)

(From behind a curtain, NANCY PELOSI, HOWARD DEAN and DONNA BRAZILE step forward.)

PELOSI: Oh, Barack. You told him this was your idea?

(OBAMA sits down, a bit petulantly.)

OBAMA: Well, shit, Nancy, I can't let my people know you guys are telling me what to do. They believe in me! I am The One!

BRAZILE (soothingly): Of course you are, Barack honey. You just keep doing what you're doing.

DEAN: That's right, Barack. Everything's going exactly the way we planned it.

(Suddenly, the scene dissolves. We see HILLARY and BILL CLINTON in their bedroom in New York. It's decorated in traditional American style, with rich colors and fabrics. HILLARY is sitting up in bed, terrified and breathing hard. She is wearing silk pajamas. BILL is wearing a matching pair of pajamas. He stirs awake.)

BILL: Hillary - what's the matter?

HILLARY: Oh, Bill - I had the most awful dream!

BILL (sighing): President Obama again?

HILLARY: Bill, this one was really terrible. It was about -

BILL (impatiently): Honey, if you're ever going to get a good night's sleep again, you know what you have to do.

HILLARY (coming to a decision): Dammit Bill, you're right. I'm putting my name in nomination at the Convention. Screw the Party and screw their staged withdrawal. I'm in it to win it!

BILL: Attagirl! (They hug.) Now, about my Supreme Court nomination...

(HILLARY laughs her trademark belly laugh.

LIGHTS OUT.)

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Monday, August 4, 2008

It's On Purpose.

Ahhh! I took a weekend away from the news and the primary race, and look what goodies I missed! Wow, it's just so much fun to watch the Obama for America Party keep destroying any small vestige of hope I had that they might ever do the right thing and nominate Hillary Clinton, or at least honor her enormous delegate count and popular vote victory at the Convention.

Here are some little newsbites that should make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Barack Obama now proclaims that he wants Michigan and Florida seated in full.

Now that The One is the presumptuous nominee, he is doing exactly what Democratic insiders thought would be done in January - pretending that it's important to him that the Michigan and Florida Delegates have their voices heard at the Convention. Of course, if Hillary is not listed as a nominee on the ballot, their voices will not be heard, because they won't be able to cast their votes for Hillary Clinton.

No one in the Obama/DNC Conglomerate thinks for one minute that this one-fingered salute will bring Party Unity (TM). Obviously, the New Democratic Party (AKA Obama for America) is proud to telegraph their complete and total disdain for people who voted for the Senator from New York.

It's on purpose.

In other news, Obama is now okay with off-shore drilling, taking a position similar to "gasp" John McCain's. Surprise, surprise, he sells out his previous, more liberal (and more sensible) position in order to gain political points. Gosh, it almost seems like he would do and say anything to win! I sure hope the "progressive" media, like The Nation, doesn't find out!

Oops. Too late.

It's on purpose.

Look, my fellow PUMAs, we need to wrap our minds around the fact that Barack Obama does not want our votes. He does not want Party Unity (TM). He wants either excision, or submission. Either you're with him (willingly or forcibly), or against him.

We need to stop thinking about this election as if it were business as usual. That is what Hillary did, and look where it got her. This campaign, the toxic creation of Axelrove and the Chicago Machine, is a nuclear missile aimed at the Democratic Party. The entire purpose of this weapon is to remove the Clintons and their voters from the Party. It is to be destroyed in order to be "saved." And if some collateral damage happens in the meantime, well, that's what happens in a war, isn't it? Better luck...never.

We need to understand that they do not care about us. We need to stop writing Howard Dean and the Obama delegates. They're all on board with Obama for America, and have been for years. We need to go to Hillary herself, and her delegates. They are the only ones who can save the Party from destruction.

We don't have much time to maximize our effectiveness, but if I were in charge of the PUMA conference in DC, I would say that we need to break Hillary out of her Party Loyalty frame of mind. We need to let her know that Barack Obama is not a Democrat, and will not govern as such. We need to explain to her that we need her leadership NOW. The economy is in a shambles and more adjustable rate mortgages are coming due soon. Major financial institutions are failing. Meanwhile, Obama and McCain play footsie with American lives and livelihoods, trying to outdo each other in their attempts to prove that they can best continue the policies of the Worst President Ever.

Some say that we can survive four years of McCain as President (Obama is unelectable, as has been quite obvious for some time now), then wait for Hillary to run in 2012. I disagree with this strategy. After the new Democrats have taken over the Party (which will happen, with Obama as nominee, whether or not Obama wins in November), who knows if they will even let her run for President again?

From now on, I say we contact Hillary every single day and tell her that she must be the nominee. This movement is not about Hillary per se, and yet, she has now become a symbol of the FDR wing of the Democratic Party. If we don't get her elected now, our century's FDR may never get a chance to put a New New Deal in place that will revitalize the country we love so much.

And it's on purpose.

Friday, August 1, 2008

The Double Agent: A Play in One Twisted Act.

THE SCENE: Two offices, one belonging to KKKARL ROVE and the other belonging to DONNA BRAZILE. Each office takes up half of the stage, with ROVE's office stage right, and BRAZILE's, stage left.

ROVE's office is furnished in traditional Republican style, with dark wood, leather chairs, stuffed animal heads on the walls, and a fireplace with Nixon's portrait over the mantle. The desk, which sits against the backstage wall, is large and covered with papers, a multi-line phone, and a small laptop. A framed poster of the movie "1984" hangs over it, behind ROVE's head. The man himself sits hunched at the desk, working furiously on many things at once.

BRAZILE's office is full of bright colors and abstract art. Her taste is more Danish modern than Rove's, with a focus on light woods and steel accents. She's also sitting behind a desk against the backstage wall, but unlike Bush's Brain, she is busy taking turns staring off into space, and staring at the phone. Clearly, she is waiting for a call that just isn't coming.

Finally, BRAZILE makes a decision. She picks up the phone and hits a Speed Dial button.


BRAZILE (into the phone): Hello? Helga, is that you? (smiling) Hi there darlin', it's Donna. (Her smile disappears after hearing what Helga has to say.) Now don't you play that little game with me, Helga. I know he's screening. I've been trying to get him for a week. You just go ahead and put me on with him, or I'll just keep calling every three minutes until you do. (slight pause while Helga gives in) That's what I thought. I'll hold, but not for long!

(In ROVE's office, the phone buzzes.)

ROVE (hitting the speaker setting on the phone): Yes, Helga?

HELGA: Karl, it's that Donna Brazile again. She says she's going to call every three minutes until you talk to her!

ROVE (frustrated): That woman just cannot take a hint! (sighs forebearingly) Okay, Helga, I might as well get this over with. Put her through. (A fake joviality enters his manner.) Hello, Donna!

BRAZILE (hitting the speaker setting on her phone): Well, FINALLY. Why have you been avoiding my calls, Karl? This had better be good. Things are starting to go really badly for President Obama. His bump in the polls from that trip he took last week has totally disappeared, and the media is starting to turn against him. They’re calling him the “presumptuous” nominee now, just like those PUMAs have been doing for the last few months! What are we going to do?

(ROVE is gleefully silent.)

BRAZILE: Hello? Are you there? Dammit, you helped me get the ball rolling with President Obama. Without your money and connections, he never would have gotten this far. But now our plan seems to be falling apart. You've gotta help me, Karl!

ROVE (allowing his full evil to show through): Well, Donna, I must say, you're a lot stupider than I thought you were. You still haven't figured it out? Good lord, woman, why don't you buy a clue?

BRAZILE (shocked): What the hell are you talking about, Karl?

ROVE (with malicious satisfaction): Oh, Donna, Donna, Donna. Didn't you ever wonder why I was so willing to be your friend? Why I was so happy to fund Obama's campaign in the start-up phase? Why I was so thrilled to send all those Republicans to the caucuses to help him get the delegates he needed to win the nomination? You're a gay black Democratic woman, and I'm Bush's Brain. Did you really think you and I were a natural fit?

BRAZILE (faintly): I thought it was because you wanted to be on the winning side. I thought you hated John McCain.

ROVE (leaning back in the chair, hands behind head): Oh, I did, Donna, I did. But that was before I realized that the winning side…is John McCain's side. With your help, John and I were able to knock out the strongest Democratic candidate and replace her with the weakest Democratic candidate. In a year where we thought all was lost, we Republicans are now poised and ready to take over the White House once again. Can you say, President McCain? I'm getting quite used to the sound of that myself.

BRAZILE: But Karl, you said Barack could win by expanding the electoral map. You said we didn't need the Democratic base, that we could win the West and South, and forget about those bitter hillbillies in Appalachia. You said -

ROVE (scornfully): And you believed me, didn't you? Good God, no wonder you've lost so many elections, Donna. What kind of an idiotic strategy is that? You've let your most reliable voters become completely disenchanted with their Party. That's something we Republicans would never do. We're smart enough to disrespect our voters behind their backs, so they won't find out how much we despise them! Election 101, Donna. When will you liberal elitists ever learn?

BRAZILE (dazed): I, uh, don't know what to say.

ROVE: How about "good-bye?" Because I hope this is the last time I have to talk to you. You make me sick to my stomach!

(BRAZILE and ROVE both disconnect from their speaker phones at the same time. ROVE, satisfied, sits back down at his desk and goes back to work. The lights slowly fade on his side of the stage.)

BRAZILE (standing up and pacing): Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm toast! I never told Barack where all that money was coming from. He thought he was getting Republican votes because they wanted to knock out Hillary, not him! What if he finds out that I was working with Karl? What if Howard Dean finds out? What am I going to do?!

(BRAZILE's phone rings.)

BRAZILE (hitting the speaker): H-h-h-hello?

HOWARD DEAN (menacingly): Hello, Donna.

BRAZILE (rallying a bit): Oh! Howard! How are you? What's new?

DEAN: Glad you asked. I want you to join me on my bus tour of the South. We think you can really help us reach out to African-American voters in the area. Plus, maybe you can scare some of the PUMAs away from me. They seem to show up everywhere I go, and I'm tired of answering their questions alone.

BRAZILE (relieved): Why, Howard, I'd be thrilled to come with you.

DEAN: Great, great! Your ride is just outside. Go ahead and pack. I'll see you soon!

(They both hang up.)

BRAZILE: Whew! I guess everything’s all right then. I’d better make sure all my tracks are covered before I get on that bus. (BRAZILE exits through a side door.)

(The lights come up in ROVE’s office. Standing next to the desk is HOWARD DEAN.)

DEAN: Hey, Karl, thanks for the tip about Donna being a double agent. I can’t believe she’s been trying to sabotage Barack this whole time!

ROVE (secretly amused): Yes, it is hard to believe.

DEAN: I wonder how long it will take her to realize that she’s not going on the bus, but under it?

(ROVE and DEAN share a manly laugh at BRAZILE’s folly.)

ROVE (reaches into a desk drawer, pulls out a humidor): May I offer you a cigar, Howard?

DEAN: Why, thank you, Karl. (ROVE does so.) I’m so looking forward to working with you. Now, what’s the next step for President Obama?

ROVE: Have you ever heard of Diebold, Howard?

(LIGHTS OUT.)
Cross-posted at The Confluence

Thursday, July 31, 2008

A New Venture

Well, folks, I have branched out yet again! I've been hired by Suite 101 to review films and television for them. My first review was posted today. Woo-hoo! I'll be posting there regularly - at least three times a month.

If you're interested in reading my bloviations and ruminations on USA's spy series "Burn Notice," click the link below.

Burn Notice

Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I Am Ridiculous.

It's true! At least, according to the media, the Democratic Party, and of course, the man even our bought-and-paid-for press corpse is starting to call the "presumptuous nominee."

I'm not ridiculous because I'm a PUMA, though. I'm ridiculous first, because I'm a woman, and second, because I'm a woman who refuses to do what Daddy tells me to.

You know, there's just something so icky about being a woman anyway. And kind of embarrassing. I mean, I look down at my body, and I have two bumps where I don't need them, and I'm missing a critical bump somewhere south of my belly button. Ewwwwwww, what's that about? If only I had that bump, I could be in charge. I could do whatever I wanted to and no one would think it was ridiculous.

Look at George W. Bush. This man has the manners of a pig in slop. He talks with his mouth full, he farts, he calls his right-hand man "Turd Blossom," he gives the Chancellor of Germany a shoulder rub, he can't keep from invading peoples' personal space. Of course, his Bushisms are legendary.

Yet is he ridiculous? Why no. For most of his horrific Reign of Error, no one in the press or the Democratic Party questioned this man's credibility or right to be in his seat. He has that scrap of flesh hanging off his pelvis, so he must be respected.

Of course, Hillary was not in possession of that precious penile attachment. Open season, baybee! Let's talk about her hair, her "cankles," her cleavage, the horrifying spectacle of a woman growing older in office! Let's talk about her coldness, her crocodile tears, her laugh, her ambition, her similarities to your "psycho" ex-girlfriend, her (supposed) menstrual cycle! Hahahahaha! Ooooh, it's just all so delicious!

And when women object to this treatment of a woman who has attained a level of success matched only by a few others in our vast country of 300 million people? Why, we are just imagining it. We white women are a problem you just have to live with. How can Daddy fix it? You want a kiss, sweetie? Or maybe you just need to be taken into a room by a man and only one of you comes out?

Well, my lovelies, take a look at what you have wrought. Are you proud of yourselves?

Look at your Beloved, Obama, strutting around Europe as if he were already the President. Look at how poorly he's doing in the polls (recently dropping to 4 points behind McCain in Likely Voters) now that he doesn't have the Queen of All Vaginal Dentatae, Hillary Clinton, to demonize. Look how pompous and arrogant and empty he is. Look how little he has to offer for all the promises he has made. Barack Obama is the poster child for preening, unearned, overweening male pride. No wonder he sends a thrill up fellow traveller Chris Matthews' leg.

The awakening of PUMA is exactly what the terrified little boys who love Obama are afraid of. The idea that women will some day look around and realize how much power they really have makes them simply crazy with terror.

And the fact that men, real men who are comfortable with female empowerment, have joined the movement? Well, how many times have you even seen the fact that some PUMAs are men even acknowledged by the media or the Democratic Party or (Heaven forfend) the presumptuous nominee himself?

My dear little FanBoyz of Obama, members of the "I Hate Hillary Just Because" club, you are the ones who are ridiculous. And you're starting to know it, aren't you?

How does it feel to look in the mirror and realize that people are laughing at you? That you have prostituted yourself for a man who is Just Not That Into You?

I hope that feeling is as painful as it deserves to be. Because thanks to your actions, we are thisclose to being deprived of the only candidate this year who is experienced, qualified, willing and able to lead this country out of Bush's abyss.

Why?

Because she is ridiculous.

Did you need to ask?

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

LV vs. RV: The Democrats' Losing Proposition



A couple of very interesting polls have come out recently. One shows Barack Obama leading John McCain nationally, and another shows John McCain leading Barack Obama nationally. The difference between these polls? Likely Voters versus Registered Voters.

Obama was ahead 47%-44% among registered voters, down from a 6-percentage point lead he had last month. McCain led 49%-45% among likely voters, reversing a 5-point Obama lead among that group. In both cases, the margin of error is +/—4 points.

What's going on? Here is how USA Today explains the methodology behind their polling.

To determine whether they were likely voters, poll participants were asked how much thought they had given the election, how often they voted in the past and whether they plan to vote this fall. McCain's gains came because there was an even number of likely voters from each party. Last month, the Democrats had an 11-point edge. (emphasis added)

Now, there are two ways to look at that astonishing fact. One is that Republicans are starting to energize against Barack Obama. This is, of course, the way that USA Today interprets it.

The other is that Democrats are losing interest in Barack Obama and are planning on either voting down-ticket, staying home, or using the nuclear option (literally?) by voting for John McCain. This is the way I interpret it. I mean, gee whiz, doesn't that huge drop in support for Obama (11 points in one month) coincide quite interestingly with the formation of a certain group comprised of Democrats who don't support Obama? Golly, if only I could remember the name of that combine of crazy old ladies...

Never mind, it'll come to me. Meanwhile, let's read more of USA Today's interpretation of Obama's hemorrhaging of support within his own Party.

Nearly two months after the Democrats' pitched primary battle ended, more Republicans than Democrats say they are "giving quite a lot of thought" to the election. Backlash to Obama's trip, fueled by McCain's criticism, also boosts GOP engagement. Six in 10 Republicans said news media coverage of Obama's trip was "unfairly positive."


Aha! Only NOW are Republicans giving "quite a lot of thought" to the election! Before now, they weren't paying any attention whatsoever. And what a surprise - Republicans think the media favors Democrats. Oooooh. Shocker!

Has USA Today ever spoken to Republicans before? Newsflash: They always pay attention to Presidential elections; and they've been flogging the "liberal media" canard for decades. (In this case, it happens to be true that the media is pushing Obama, but that matters not. They would have said the same thing regardless.)

Sorry, darlings, it's not about the Republicans. It's about the Democrats and their desire to remake the Democratic Party without the Clintons. Bill and Hillary, what with their success and popularity and intelligence, really must make those liberal elitist Party Leaders feel as weak and inadequate as all get-out. What other reason could there be for this bizarre election strategy?

It's certainly not some quest for ideological purity. That notion is laughable. Obama's disgraceful vote for telecom/BushCheney immunity (otherwise known as the FISA bill) showed that he is nothing but a tool of the big corporations, especially AT&T, which has now been kind enough to sponsor the Democratic Convention. Good thing too, because I don't know how they were going to pay for it otherwise! (What? I'm sure there was no quid pro quo there whatsoever.)

A painfully ironic twist to this whole mess is that "evil corporate whore Hillary" voted AGAINST immunity. It didn't surprise those of us who actually know her record of keeping her promises, but it sure showed a lot of Obama supporters that the Senator from Illinois is "not the man they thought they knew."

And that is the weakness of Obama as a candidate. No one knows what he's going to do, and when he does do something, the base doesn't like it. As reflected in the USA Today story, that trip to Europe and Iraq didn't do him any favors here in America, where we actually vote and stuff. (Only 35% saw Senator Obama's "Look at Me, I'm Presidenting!" trip in a positive light.)

This is a major gamble by the Democrats. Can they win without Clinton's voters, who tend to have a long history of voting Democratic, as well as volunteering for, and donating to, Democratic candidates? Can they create enough LV's to counteract the loss of RV's, many of whom have become PUMAs in protest of this strategy?

In my opinion, their proposition is a losing one. If the Democrats want to win in November, they will have to get over their childish, vindictive hatred of Bill and Hillary Clinton and nominate Hillary at the Convention.

The alternative? Well, Nancy, Harry, Howard and Donna, what happens when you give a party and nobody comes?

PUMA!

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Monday, July 28, 2008

Want a Seat at the Democratic Convention? Better Promise to Campaign for Obama

You know the most horrible, Orwellian and frustrating thing about Barack Obama's campaign?

He keeps doing things that are absolutely unprecedented and should induce whiplash in the corporate media, but they seem to pass totally unremarked. Things like removing his name from a state ballot, then claiming votes and delegates from that state (even stealing four of Hillary's delegates!); claiming that he clinched the nomination, when he didn't (he needed 2109 pledged delegates and didn't get them); becoming One with the DNC; moving DNC Headquarters to Chicago; taking a giant media entourage on his SO NOT POLITICAL faux-Presidential trip to Europe and Iraq; and so on and so on. No presumptive nominee has ever done any of these things. IOKIYO!

I've been waiting for a few days for someone to notice this little story in Politico, but so far, it seems to be slipping under the radar. So, for your hair-tearing pleasure, I give you:

The Price for Obama Tickets is Activism

The crowd enveloping Barack Obama when he accepts the Democratic nomination for president at Invesco Field at Mile High will be asked to get to work for the privilege of witnessing the historic event live.

In a half-hour interview Wednesday with The Denver Post, Obama's deputy campaign manager, Steve Hildebrand, said he wants to use the ticketing process as a massive recruitment tool meant to bring in supporters from all 50 states and energize them to carry the campaign into the final 60 days of the general election.

"We're going to ask those 80,000 people in that stadium to march out of there and go with very specific instructions and goals to register millions of new voters," Hildebrand said.

The campaign announced July 7 that it would hold the final night of the Aug. 25-28 convention at Invesco Field and open Obama's acceptance speech to thousands of spectators. Official details of the so-called community credential process are expected early next week, the campaign said.

By seating the 6,000 delegates down on the field normally defended by the Denver Broncos, and by keeping the number of journalists, technicians and VIPs at the same level as those attending the Pepsi Center events earlier in the week, the campaign could bring in more than 60,000 members of the public, Hildebrand said.

[snip]

Hildebrand said that to ensure that the campaign fills the stadium, the application process becomes in and of itself a recruiting tool.

"Every single person is going to be a level of seriousness," Hildebrand said. "You know, 'Tell us how you're going to get there from Maine. Tell us how you're going to get there from Florida. Give us a sense of whether or not you're really serious about this. If you're not, we're going to provide someone else with this.' "

Those who want a seat will begin the process at their local Democratic Party office. While demonstrating their ability to attend, they also will be encouraged to sign on to the campaign as volunteers.

"They fill out a form; there's a conversation," Hildebrand said. "We ask them and encourage them to register voters and to get out the vote and those activities that are important to us. It's not a requirement, but it's going to be an encouragement."

Another use of the Aug. 28 speech meant to leverage public support is to use a technique popular with the campaign to hand out names and phone numbers during its events and ask participants to use their cellphones to make get-out-the-vote calls.


If the Obama campaign has its way, there will not be one single solitary Hillary supporter in that entire stadium. Yet she has not conceded, has not released her delegates and could conceivably still win the nomination.

This is the creepiest, most underhanded, most cultish campaign I have ever seen. While the Obamanation becomes more and more suppressive and anti-democratic, the corporate media yawns and blabbers about whether or not he's patriotic enough. Um, who cares? George W. Bush was seen as patriotic, wasn't he?

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Narcissist, Part Deux


Many of us around the blogosphere have noticed that Obama has a lot of Bush-like characteristics. The verbal gaffes are one key factor, of course; the Rovian style of his campaign, another - and he's shown a strangely Bushian propensity to lie on camera as well. (Senator Obama is not even ON the Banking Committee.)

But by far the most terrifying parallel to me is the personality trait that both Bush and Obama appear to share: Narcissism.

Last night, BostonBoomer wrote what I believe will become one of the most important analyses of Barack Obama's Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In it, she explains how each trait of NPD, as defined in the DSM IV-TR, is exhibited by Obama. Here is just one example, which demonstrates how Obama possesses the first trait of a person with NPD:

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate
achievements)

To check off this item, a shrink would only have to look at the fact that Obama chose to run for POTUS with almost no relevant qualifications or experience and with such a thin resume that he has barely ever held a full-time job (h/t Katiebird). He has based his presidential campaign on the fact that he was a “community organizer” in the 1980s (even though he had no tangible accomplishments), was president of the Harvard Law Review in the 1990s (although he wrote no articles for publication), his undistinguished tenure as a state senator in IL, and an anti-war speech in 1992 that wasn’t even audio- or video-taped and didn’t rate even a mention in the local papers. Oh, and he wrote two autobiographical books by his mid-40s. He claims to have been a “civil rights attorney” (although he has argued no cases in court) and a consitutional law professor” (although he was really a part-time adjunct instructor who never published a single peer reviewed article).
But it looks like BostonBoomer isn't the only one who has noticed the striking signs of NPD in our presumptuous nominee. Obama's propensity for self-love is starting to be too obvious to ignore, even for our national press corpse.

More writing (and video) on this topic:

Obama and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Messiah

Obama' Narcissism

Who Does Obama Think He IS?

Some people were on to him a bit earlier than others.

Obama the Messiah of Generation Narcissism

Obama + Oprah = Ick!

Who is really running for Bush's third term?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Bill Burton's Secret Weapon: A Play in One Scientific Act.

THE SCENE: BILL BURTON, Barack Obama's campaign manager, is sitting behind a large chrome and glass desk in a well-appointed, modern office. A large, sleek metal box with two buttons rests on top of the desk. One button is red, and reads "Verbiage;" the other is green, and reads "Statistics."

There is a computer (the latest Mac, of course) and a printer on the side of the desk. His iPhone is lying on the desk: Bill is [duh!] too hip for a landline. Besides which, he doesn't want AT&T spying on HIM!

In front of the desk is DAVID AXELROD, Barack Obama's right-hand man. They are sipping cups of coffee and finishing up croissants. AXELROD also has an iPhone in his hand, from which he will read the action items for the meeting.
]

BURTON: Ah! The almond croissant was particularly moist today. So, David, what's on the agenda?

AXELROD: Okay, Bill, we've got several things that need our immediate attention. First off, as you know, President Obama's foreign-policy experience has now been brought up to parity with John McCain's after his week-long tour of Europe and the Middle East. So we're all good there. However, we estimated that a million people would attend his speech in Berlin, and even with two free concerts thrown in, we were nowhere near that number. Can we figure out how many people attended?

BURTON: No problemo! [addressing the box on his desk] Computer, how many people attended the Berlin rally?

COMPUTER [in sultry female voice]: Please press the green button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: Two hundred thousand.

AXELROD: Great, great. I'll send it out now. [notates the number in his iPhone and quickly sends it off to his press mailing list] Okay, next item is: The President skipped a visit to the troops while in Berlin because the Pentagon wouldn't allow him to bring in his cameras. How do we make it clear that President Obama does not, in fact, think of the troops as just a campaign prop?

BURTON [drawing in his breath]: Oooooh, that's a tough one. Let's see what our girl can come up with. Computer, what is the reason for Obama's skipping his visit to the troops?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: I.A.C.F.

AXELROD [confused]: IACF?

BURTON [embarrassed at the faux pas]: Um, that stands for "It's All Clinton's Fault." I keep telling her that is no longer an acceptable response, but she keeps defaulting to it - I don't know why. [addressing computer] Computer, please give alternate reason.

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your alternate reason is: George W. Bush.

AXELROD: George W. Bush? What does she mean by that?

BURTON [nervously]: Search me. [both think for a moment]

AXELROD: Wait, wait! I've got it! We'll say the Pentagon stopped him from going. They were worried that it would look like a campaign visit. Brilliant, Bill! Gotta love that machine. [BURTON is visibly relieved. AXELROD dashes off another communique to the press corpse.] All right all right all right! Now, how about this one? People are raising the issue that President Obama's senior thesis is nowhere to be found.

BURTON: Heh. Thank goodness.

AXELROD: Yeah. So anyway, since Hillary's thesis was thoroughly reviewed and dissected in the media, why haven't we released Barack's?

BURTON: Wow. That IS a stumper! Computer, why haven't we released President Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Your question contains a logical fallacy. Please rephrase.

BURTON [rolling his eyes]: Fine, fine. [to AXELROD] She can't handle it when I say "President Obama." So literal-minded! [re-addressing computer] Computer, why haven't we released Senator Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: "The absurdity of spending any time discussing this issue on television at all makes it difficult to even respond to what you’ve done. Even presenting a balanced argument of what is such a specious story does not do justice to the ridiculousness of giving this any oxygen whatsoever."

[slight pause]

AXELROD: Well, it's a bit wordy, but I think it's the right tone. Great job again, Bill! Off it goes to my press contacts. [AXELROD works his iPhone.]

BURTON [looking at his iPhone]: So, David, is that about it? You know I have to bring the President his waffles.

AXELROD: Oh, just one more thing. Can that model do predictions?

BURTON [doubtfully]: Well, we did install a new module last week, but it's more of a "Magic Eight Ball" than a real analyzer.

AXELROD: Ahhhh, so what? Let's try her out. We may get something we like.

BURTON: Okey-dokey. What do you want me to ask her?

AXELROD: Ask her to predict the results of the November election. Who will become our next President? [snickering] As if we didn't know the answer to that.

BURTON [snickering]: Yeah! That's a good one, Davey. Let's have a little fun. Computer, who will become our next President?

COMPUTER: Please rotate me three times. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

BURTON: What? There must be some kind of malfunction. [starts hitting the side of the box]

COMPUTER: Barack Obama's campaign will self-destruct in thirty days.

AXELROD: What the hell is that bitch talking about? [crosses to desk and starts hitting the other side of the box]

COMPUTER: Party Unity, My Ass. PUMA. PUMA. PUMA! [COMPUTER explodes with a giant BANG! and a large puff of smoke.]

[After the smoke clears, BURTON and AXELROD have dirty faces, electric-shock hair, and exasperated expressions.]

AXELROD: Fifth one this month.

BURTON: Yup. Maybe we need a stronger anti-PUMA program. The PUMA virus keeps infecting all our bots.

AXELROD: Well, work on it, will ya? This is getting ridiculous. [begins walking out]

BURTON: Hey, Dave?

AXELROD: Yes, Bill?

BURTON: What if PUMA is the anti-virus, not the virus? What if we are the infection, and the Democratic body keeps rejecting us?

[brief pause]

AXELROD [menacingly]: Bill, you want my advice? Stop thinking so hard, or you'll end up going the way of your computer there.

BURTON [cowed]: Yessir. No problem. I was just -

AXELROD: I know what you were doing. Now, put your happy face on and go get the President his breakfast.

BURTON: Right away, sir. [involuntarily bursting out] PUMA!

AXELROD: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BURTON [sheepishly]: Sorry, Dave. It's catching!

[LIGHTS OUT.]
Cross-posted at The Confluence

Friday, July 25, 2008

KKKarl Rove and Donna Brazile: Perfect Together

[Original photos here and here.]


A commenter at The Confluence found this extraordinary chronology of the relationship between KKKarl and Donna.

If you don't have an "ah-HA!" moment after you read this, STEP AWAY FROM THE KOOL-AID. It's obviously causing brain damage.

No wonder Obama is starting to sound like a right-wing Republican. No wonder he is getting such favorable media instead of McCain, the original and traditional Media Darling. No wonder he had so much money at the beginning of his campaign - over $100 million from Bush Pioneers, oil companies, and Republican bundlers. No wonder he won red-state caucuses so handily but often lost the primaries from those same states. (A prime example: The Texas Pri-Caucus. Hillary won the primaries but Obama won the caucuses; thus he claimed victory in the delegate count.) Obama earned more delegates from his Idaho caucus victory than Clinton did from her victories in Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island COMBINED.

The unholy matrimony between Bush's Brain and the Democratic Party was cemented by Brazile's desire to recreate the Democratic Party in the image of the Republican Party - but with African-Americans as the powerbrokers instead of rich white men. Incredibly, she calls this corruption of the Party of the working class "mobilizing the grassroots."

As for Rove, he wanted to knock out John McCain, a man whom Bush has still not forgiven for voting against the Deciderer's disastrous tax cuts, and of course make sure Hillary Clinton, the only strong progressive Democrat in the race, did not win the White House. There is no chance that Hillary would forgo the opportunity to prosecute Rove and Co. for all of their heinous crimes against America and its people.

But Obama? His chief legal advisor, Cass Sunstein, has already gone on record as saying that Bush-Cheney should not be impeached. And of course, Obama has already voted to immunize the telecom companies, and by extension the Bush Administration, for their illegal warrantless wiretapping of Americans. Of course, the warrantless wiretapping program is one of the most rock-solid reasons for impeachment, according to Constitutional law experts. Poof! There it went.

If Obama wins, the Bush agenda will continue, and there will be no accountability whatsoever for Rove, Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld and Rice. If McCain wins, what happens next will be determined mostly by a Congress with a much larger Democratic majority than in 2006, and with a much more diverse set of interests than those pushing either McCain or Obama (and possibly Hillary Clinton as Senate Majority Leader).
I'll take Choice B for $600, Alex.

By the way, if you'd like to remember what a real Democrat looks and sounds like, here's Hillary speaking on the Senate floor about alternative energy investment and gas price reduction.

Ah, a Democratic politician who believes in Democratic values.

WANT.
Cross-posted at The Confluence

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear PUMAs, Stop Paying Attention! A Letter from the DNC/Obama Conglomerate to Over-Informed PUMA Voters

Dear PUMAs,

Please, please, please stop paying attention to what we are doing. Our nerves are shot, thinking that our pre-planned installation of Barack Obama might not go through! Seriously, kitties - you think Howard Dean screamed in Iowa? You should hear him now!

We honestly thought everyone would unify behind Obama! Um, well, okay, we didn't really think that, since we've repeatedly told you we don't need you to win. But, ha ha, we were just kidding when we said you usually voted Republican! Can't you all take a joke?

Okay, maybe you all think Obama himself is a joke. Fair enough. He certainly has made a lot of gaffes lately. Tee-hee - he even claimed credit for legislation created by the Senate Banking Committee, calling it "my committee!" We thought it was hilarious that he pretended to head up a committee of which he is not even a member. Gotta love that Obama chutzpah! Ooooh-weeee!

Shouldn't you all be on vacation or something? Why have you been noticing how much Obama's positions are starting to resemble a rightwing Republican's? On everything from abortion to the Fourth Amendment to the war in Iraq, he's been throwing mainstream Democratic positions out the window, or as you would say, "under the bus." But if we tell you he's a Democrat, he's a Democrat! Why are you questioning our authoriteh?

Another thing. What is with this ridiculous insistence on Hillary's name being placed into the nomination at the Convention? Just because it's always been done that way is no reason to steal the nomination, which he has not yet earned, away from Obama! What's the matter, are you all racists or something?

In conclusion, just get over it. Acknowledge that we own your vote. And after the election, we don't expect to hear a peep out of you ever again, because we are the ones you've been waiting for.

Yours In Obama For America,

The DNC

Holy Tamole - It's the First Performance of One of My Plays!

And I must say, it was a lot of fun.

Here, for your listening pleasure, is: Obama Hears a Huh?! A Play in One Oblivious Act, from The Confluence Players. (Turn it up - the sound is a bit faint.)

Cast:

Stage Directions - Riverdaughter
Barack Obama - Mawm
Bill Burton - Garychapelhill
Michelle Obama - Madamab
Sound Effects - Sheri Tag



Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Oh, The Humility

Some people might say that I have strong opinions. [wink] Yet people who know me will not hesitate to tell you that I do admit when I'm wrong. And this primary season has been full of painful bricks falling on my heretofore clueless haid.

Here are just a few of the things I've realized as a result of the epic battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama:

  • Sexism is NOT dead.

  • The leaders of the Democratic Party hate Hillary and Bill Clinton, to the point of deliberately torpedoing Hillary's primary campaign in every possible way - including promoting an unqualified, inexperienced candidate in her stead, simply because he is African-American.

  • Sometimes, the right-wing stereotypes about Democrats are right.

  • Howard Dean would have made a bad President.

  • John Edwards may have quit before Super Tuesday because it is possible that he is cheating on his cancer-stricken wife. He would have made a bad President too.

  • The "progressive" media, for the most part, is not progressive at all. They just want in on the levers of power. So much for the Daily Kos, HuffPo, Air Obama, er, America...

  • A President must represent the center of the country, not an extreme fringe of left or right. Bush pretended to be a centrist, but was in reality a far-right radical. That is why his presidency was so harmful. In the same way, a far-left radical (like me) would not be an appropriate choice to lead this country. So, my place in the political spectrum is, and should be, on the fringes. (Now if only we could get the far-right wingnuts to realize the same thing!)

  • The Democratic Party is becoming as corporate-friendly and corrupt as the Republican Party.

What about you? Have you learned anything during this crazy election season? Oh, and by the way:

CHECK ME OUT ON BLOGTALK RADIO TONIGHT!

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Mother Of Us All: A Play In One Condescending Act.

THE SCENE: NANCY PELOSI's office. Like her home, it is tastefully furnished in pastels. Comfy chairs are placed strategically around her desk. PELOSI is sitting behind it, looking at her computer screen and humming slightly.

A knock is heard at the door.


PELOSI: Come in!

[HOWARD DEAN, HARRY REID and DONNA BRAZILE enter.]

PELOSI [smiling]: Hi, everyone! How's everything going? Is all well with Obama for America?

DEAN: Oh, absolutely, Nancy! That trip to Europe and the Middle East has the media creaming its collective pants.

BRAZILE: Oh, HELL yeah. Man, you should see the photo-ops our future President has been getting!

REID [muttering]: Yeah - too bad we can't tape his mouth shut.

PELOSI [sweetly]: What was that, Harry dear?

REID [sighing]: Nothing, Nancy. Anyway, the reason we're here -

PELOSI: Let me guess - PUMA?

[ALL FOUR SIGH SIMULTANEOUSLY. REID, DEAN AND BRAZILE sit down dispiritedly.]

DEAN: Nancy, we just don't know what to do.

BRAZILE: We've tried telling them we don't need them and to get over it -

REID: We've tried ignoring them -

DEAN: Nothing is working! They STILL say they won't vote for President Obama!

PELOSI [soothingly]: Now, now, everyone calm down. All they're looking for is a little reassurance that we respect and honor them. [rising] No offense, but I think what you need is a more motherly approach.

BRAZILE: I KNEW we came to the right place! Harry, I can't believe you didn't want to ask her.

REID [exasperated]: Jesus, Donna! The important thing is, we're here now. So, Nancy, what do you suggest?

PELOSI [sitting back down behind her desk]: Come back in 15 minutes. I promise you won't be disappointed. [PELOSI, BRAZILE AND REID file out of the office.]

[FIFTEEN MINUTES PASS. Another knock at the door.]

PELOSI: Come in, everyone!

[BRAZILE, DEAN AND REID come in and sit down expectantly.]

DEAN: Well, Nancy, what have you got for us?

PELOSI: Check it out! [rising, clearing her throat, pacing while reading]

"Dearest PUMAs,

Please do not worry about a thing. All your concerns will be addressed once President Obama has taken office. You should emulate that paragon of patriotism, Britney Spears, and just trust us with the future of your country. After all, we have done such a great job with our majority since 2006!

As for the Vice Presidentship, that is President Obama's decision, not yours. I hate to be stern with you, because we really value your unquestioning support, but you realize that we are in charge and not you, don't you? I mean, it's not like it would really matter anyway. Hillary is yesterday's news. We are moving forward into a new, post-partisan, unicorn-filled future with our young, handsome, charming rockstar candidate!

So why don't you all just give up and let us do whatever we want? Resistance is futile, and you will be assimilated.

Love and kisses,

Grandma Pelosi"

[PELOSI stops, and waits expectantly. DEAN, BRAZILE and REID sit in stunned silence. Then, happy, relieved smiles break over their faces.]

BRAZILE: Damn, Nancy, that was fantastic!

DEAN: Wow. Great, great job, Madame Speaker. The iron fist in the velvet glove.

REID: Yeah - even I've gotta admit, that was a stellar performance. Brava!

PELOSI [preening]: Well, this oughta fix their wagon. Nothing can stop Obama now!

[ALL FOUR LAUGH. The Princess phone on PELOSI's desk rings.]

PELOSI: Hello? Oh, Hillary, is that you? [EVERYONE stops laughing.] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-HUH. Well...um...of course that's your decision...uh...yes, yes, of course. I understand. [PELOSI hangs up the phone, shell-shocked.]

[brief pause while EVERYONE looks at PELOSI.]

REID [who can't take the tension any more]: Damnit, Nancy! What happened!

PELOSI: Well, um...it appears that Hillary has been getting an earful from her supporters. She has decided to place her name in nomination at the Convention, so that means...she could actually win instead of Barack.

[EVERYONE is mute with consternation.]

BRAZILE [breaking the silence]: Well, well, well. Looks like it's gonna be a very interesting summer.

[LIGHTS OUT]

Woman At Work!


Today I am submitting my questions to Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney for our upcoming interview. Phew! Qweschuns are hard work, as our beloved Deciderer knows so well.

In the meantime, here are some posts to keep you busy:

Charles Lemos has an excellent piece at No Quarter on how Obama is being mocked from all sides of the spectrum.

Riverdaughter explains how to save the Democratic Party.

Firedoglake notices that evangelical outreach has its downside. Who suffers? Why, women, of course.

Joseph Cannon outlines the so-called "Pottery Barn Rule" to the Obamans.

I wish you all a happy Monday. Now, back to work!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Poor DNC Strategery, Part XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXIIV

By now, you may have seen this absolutely wince-worthy effort by the DNC's Don Fowler and Alice Germond to get us PUMAs to fall in line and support the presumptuous nominee.

Here are some of my favorite parts:
I must confess a bit of fatigue and irritation with people who continue to carp, complain, and criticize the results of the primary and lay down conditions for their support.
Aw, sweetie, are our petty little concerns about the Obama/DNC Conglomerate rigging our primary election making you feel periodically down? It's hard to imagine why Democrats would care about a fair and honest election, isn't it? Poor thing. Do you need a Motrin?

While that last bit is hilarious in its petulance, this part is just irredeemably stupid.

The Los Angeles Lakers didn't establish conditions to recognize the Boston Celtics as NBA Champions; Roger Federer did not demand concessions before recognizing that Rafael Nadal defeated him at Wimbledon.

Well, did the referees throw the games for those teams, or did they win according to the rules, honestly and fairly? Last time I checked, the Celtics didn't have to steal points from the Lakers and claim 20 of their baskets "didn't count" in order to become NBA Champs.

Jesus Christ, how willfully ignorant are these people?

It doesn't take long for the claws to come out. Man, that must be one raging case of EDS (Electoral Dysfunction Syndrome)! Maybe some dark chocolate and a "Sex In the City" marathon would help?

It is time to act in a mature and resourceful fashion. It's time to put the primaries behind us.

That's right, we are immature and bitter and just need to GET OVER IT! Talk to the hands, you annoying PUMAs!

And now, for the pièce de résistance:

It's time to support Barack Obama without conditions or demands.

Excuse me? This is not laughable, it's downright scary. Do we ever support any politician without conditions or demands in this country? Does Barack Obama want to be a king or a president? What about the words "public servant" does he and his enablers misunderstand?

Look, it's very simple. Neither Obama nor Clinton has won the nomination until August 28th. Clinton has suspended her campaign, and has not conceded. She has not released her delegates, so they are free to vote for her at the Convention. Let that happen, and accept the consequences of that vote, or the nominee will be selected, not elected.

If you want something from your voters, you don't order them to do it. You ask them, and you recognize when they have legitimate grievances. Otherwise, you will lose them forever.

Are you listening, Party Leaders?

You are in danger of permanently alienating 18 million Democratic voters for the sake of an illegitimate, unqualified and unelectable nominee.

I don't know what it will take to get this message across before the Convention, but judging from the flop sweat beginning to emanate from the DNC, we are starting to make headway. Keep it up, PUMAs everywhere!

Get involved here.

Check out the latest ad from The Denver Group here.

Listen to PUMAs on No We Won't Radio here.

Party Unity, My Ass!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Conservative Lying Liars, Historical Revisionist Edition

So, yesterday I figured my blood pressure had slipped a little low. I wandered over to The New York Times to see what David "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader" Brooks had to say. I mean, I find myself agreeing with both Ed Koch AND Paul Krugman these days, so why not give Bobo a try?

Let's just say, the man did not disappoint.

The first part of the editorial was actually quite well-written. I wondered if my Bizarro-World experiences lately had caused me to hallucinate.

We’re entering an era of epic legislation. There are at least five large problems that will compel the federal government to act in gigantic ways over the next few years.

First, there is the erosion of the social contract. Private sector firms are less likely to provide health benefits, producing a desperate need for health care reform. Second, there is the energy shortage. Rising Asian demand strains worldwide supply, threatening industry and consumers, and producing calls for a bold energy initiative. Third, there is the stagnation in human capital. During the 20th century, Americans were better educated than the citizens of any other power. Since 1970, that lead has been forfeited, producing inequality and wage stagnation. To compete, the U.S. will require a series of human capital initiatives.

Fourth, there’s financial market reform. In an intricately connected world, even Republican administrations cannot allow big institutions to fail. If government is going to guarantee against failure, then it is inevitably going to get more involved in regulating how businesses are run. Fifth, there’s infrastructure reform. The U.S. transportation system is in shambles and will require major new projects.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is the first time I've seen anyone in the MCM lay out the massive problems that face the next administration so succinctly. My eyes were wide with astonishment and happiness. Was this a new era of substantive political discussion by the New York Times?

Of course not. Read on, if you dare.

All of this means that the next few years will be an age of government activism. You may think, therefore, that this situation is ripe for Democratic dominance. The Democrats are the natural party of federal vigor. Voters prefer Democratic approaches to issues like health care and education by as much as 25 percentage points.

Yet, historically, periods of great governmental change have often been periods of conservative rule. It’s as if voters understand that they need big changes, but they want those changes planned and enacted by leaders who will restrain the pace of change and prevent radical excess.
No, it's as if David Brooks stopped reading history after 1929. But hey, he has to justify his McCain love somehow. Who cares if he completely ignores FDR's four terms in office, during which the New Deal was created and successfully implemented? Or perhaps he is forgetting LBJ and the Civil Rights Amendment?

The only "conservative" American President he could find to justify his preposterous thesis was Theodore Roosevelt, who resembles John McCain about as much as Beverly Sills resembles Britney Spears. His other example was Benjamin Disraeli, because conservatism in England is exactly the same as conservatism in America. [snort] In any case, here is how McCain equals The Rough Rider in the fuzzy brain of Mr. Brooks.

"The true function of the state as it interferes in social life,” Roosevelt wrote, “should be to make the chances of competition more even, not to abolish them.”

John McCain’s challenge is to recreate this model. He will never get as many cheers in Germany as Barack Obama, but for a century his family has embodied American heroism.
Ah, there it is - that delightful soupçon of élitism without which a Brooks column just isn't complete. You know you simply cannot implement change unless your family has been in America for at least 100 years being all heroic and stuff. Otherwise it's just change for change's sake! The White House will be painted in rainbow stripes, the Oval Office will smell like patchouli, and President Democrat will enact legislation forcing all Americans to wear their underwear on the outside. The Horror!

The column is a laughable effort by Brooks, to be sure, but to be fair, conservative propagandists are having a harder and harder time pushing their line these days. After all, Bush has proven that today's conservatism (a toxic stew of X-treme Reagonomics wedded to a Christofascist domestic policy and a neo-conservative foreign policy) is a recipe for disaster - the results of which Brooks readily acknowledges in the first portion of his column. The problem is, how to keep Democrats from another four decades of legislative - and possibly executive - dominance?

Poor Bobo. It's hard work being a Minister of Truthiness these days.

At least I know that in this world where every day seems to be Opposite Day, David Brooks can still be counted on to raise the blood pressure of almost everyone who reads his mind-blowingly crapulent bloviating.

Mission Accomplished, baby.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Action Alert - Send KKKarl to Jail!

Wanna prod your Congresscritters to do something about KKKarl? Watch this remarkably concise summation of Rove's criminal doings from Robert Greenwald, then sign the petition to have the Turd Blossom permanently decked out in unflattering orange and leg chains. We all know that there is enough evidence to put this putz in jail for the next 40 years.

Executive privilege, my ass!

A Bittersweet Experience

As some of my regular readers know, I am a professional singer as well as a politics-obsessed bloggista. Last night, I was privileged to sing in a Concert for Life, sponsored by the Project People Foundation. The experience left an indelible impression on me.

My part in the concert was small: I was there as a "backup" for the Cantor at the temple where I sing. (That temple has long been a partner in PPF's efforts). The rest of the time, I was able to sit, snack, and enjoy the other performers. And what a show it was!

Project People Foundation is dedicated to improving the lives of impoverished and AIDs-scourged South Africans. To highlight this focus, PPF opened the concert with performances from South Africans who are part of the cast of The Lion King. They danced and sang with amazing energy, skill and passion. Then, an absolutely phenomenal gospel group sang several pieces that were so inspiring, they almost convinced me to convert. (Oy!) In the middle of all of this was a celebration of Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday, complete with a gorgeous cake.

Finally, the gospel choir closed with a knockout performance of "We Shall Overcome," with the first verse sung in Hebrew to honor the Temple's participation. The entire room stood up and held hands spontaneously. It was incredibly moving to touch strangers and colleagues in such a comfortable way, and sing along with that ultimate anthem of faith and resolve.

That was the sweet, and how sweet it was.

And now, for the bitter.

The performance took place at a large, prominent, mostly African-American church. Barack Obama's name was mentioned twice by various speakers, both times in the context of how inspiring it was as an example to children and adults that an African-American could be nominated as a Presidential candidate. (He hasn't clinched the nomination yet, but I knew where they were coming from.) The folks in the room seemed to agree (I saw a few nods and heard a quiet "Yes!" or two), but there was no applause or loud affirmation of these statements. (And believe me, this crowd was not shy - if you've ever been to a service in a black church, you know what I'm talking about.)

In fact, both of these statements were made by men, and I saw some female faces around the room freeze a little, as mine did. I wondered if the two thoughts that went through my head were running through theirs:

1) Women of color could have been inspired by Hillary as well as Obama; and

2) Why isn't he better?

Let's address #1 first.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright mentioned Hillary Clinton in his controversial "God Damn America" sermon, and his remarks were instructive. He asserted that Hillary hadn't had to work twice as hard as a white man to get the same job. It was a laughable and hugely ironic statement in the context of this primary, considering that Hillary has now all but lost the nomination to a man, although she was the winner of the popular vote and has a resume that, by any objective measure, dwarfs Obama's.

Clearly, gender equality is not a part of Reverend Wright's awareness. As every woman in his congregation could have told him, women do have to work twice as hard as a man in order to get the same job. Of course, even if they are fortunate enough to get such a job, they are paid, on average, 77 cents to the man's dollar.

Is there any reason to assume that Hillary Clinton would not continue her work to gain gender equality as President? No. The only way to beat Hillary was to smear her with false accusations of racism and race-baiting, and that is exactly what his campaign did. Out of an understandable sense of community, only a brave few African-Americans stood up for her or Bill Clinton in the face of Obama's divisive tactics, and those who did were intimidated with primary challenges or, in some cases, death threats from the Obama camp.

As frustrating as #1 is to me, #2 is what really hurt. Why is he The One, as Oprah famously dubbed him? What has he ever done for the black community? What has he promised to do for the black community? Why does he talk down to the NAACP and perpetuate white stereotypes about his own people?

Why doesn't he appreciate how much his community needs a figure of great stature, a person who aspires to be a fighter for social justice for all Americans, a person who strives for peace and an end to institutionalized racism and bigotry of all kinds - yes, even unto sexism and homophobia? Why isn't he humbled a bit by what the unqualified support of the black community means?

It breaks my heart that Senator Obama was not asked these questions by the Party Leaders before they decided to elevate him to national status. Fair or not, an African-American candidate will bear the burdens of his long-suffering community on his shoulders, just as Hillary would be expected to bear the burdens of long-suffering women on hers. And as I looked at all the faces around me last night, holding hands with a beautiful stranger and pledging to overcome, I could only think: African-Americans deserve better. They deserve so much better than vague platitudes about hope and change. They deserve a deep understanding of their plight and a lifelong commitment of time and resources, of heart and soul, towards mitigating that plight.

For all of our sakes, I hope they get what they deserve from America and, should he prevail, Barack Obama. As we all know, it's been a long time coming.