Oooh, nuance!

Well, folks, I have branched out yet again! I've been hired by Suite 101 to review films and television for them. My first review was posted today. Woo-hoo! I'll be posting there regularly - at least three times a month.

If you're interested in reading my bloviations and ruminations on USA's spy series "Burn Notice," click the link below.

Burn Notice

Enjoy!

It's true! At least, according to the media, the Democratic Party, and of course, the man even our bought-and-paid-for press corpse is starting to call the "presumptuous nominee."

I'm not ridiculous because I'm a PUMA, though. I'm ridiculous first, because I'm a woman, and second, because I'm a woman who refuses to do what Daddy tells me to.

You know, there's just something so icky about being a woman anyway. And kind of embarrassing. I mean, I look down at my body, and I have two bumps where I don't need them, and I'm missing a critical bump somewhere south of my belly button. Ewwwwwww, what's that about? If only I had that bump, I could be in charge. I could do whatever I wanted to and no one would think it was ridiculous.

Look at George W. Bush. This man has the manners of a pig in slop. He talks with his mouth full, he farts, he calls his right-hand man "Turd Blossom," he gives the Chancellor of Germany a shoulder rub, he can't keep from invading peoples' personal space. Of course, his Bushisms are legendary.

Yet is he ridiculous? Why no. For most of his horrific Reign of Error, no one in the press or the Democratic Party questioned this man's credibility or right to be in his seat. He has that scrap of flesh hanging off his pelvis, so he must be respected.

Of course, Hillary was not in possession of that precious penile attachment. Open season, baybee! Let's talk about her hair, her "cankles," her cleavage, the horrifying spectacle of a woman growing older in office! Let's talk about her coldness, her crocodile tears, her laugh, her ambition, her similarities to your "psycho" ex-girlfriend, her (supposed) menstrual cycle! Hahahahaha! Ooooh, it's just all so delicious!

And when women object to this treatment of a woman who has attained a level of success matched only by a few others in our vast country of 300 million people? Why, we are just imagining it. We white women are a problem you just have to live with. How can Daddy fix it? You want a kiss, sweetie? Or maybe you just need to be taken into a room by a man and only one of you comes out?

Well, my lovelies, take a look at what you have wrought. Are you proud of yourselves?

Look at your Beloved, Obama, strutting around Europe as if he were already the President. Look at how poorly he's doing in the polls (recently dropping to 4 points behind McCain in Likely Voters) now that he doesn't have the Queen of All Vaginal Dentatae, Hillary Clinton, to demonize. Look how pompous and arrogant and empty he is. Look how little he has to offer for all the promises he has made. Barack Obama is the poster child for preening, unearned, overweening male pride. No wonder he sends a thrill up fellow traveller Chris Matthews' leg.

The awakening of PUMA is exactly what the terrified little boys who love Obama are afraid of. The idea that women will some day look around and realize how much power they really have makes them simply crazy with terror.

And the fact that men, real men who are comfortable with female empowerment, have joined the movement? Well, how many times have you even seen the fact that some PUMAs are men even acknowledged by the media or the Democratic Party or (Heaven forfend) the presumptuous nominee himself?

My dear little FanBoyz of Obama, members of the "I Hate Hillary Just Because" club, you are the ones who are ridiculous. And you're starting to know it, aren't you?

How does it feel to look in the mirror and realize that people are laughing at you? That you have prostituted yourself for a man who is Just Not That Into You?

I hope that feeling is as painful as it deserves to be. Because thanks to your actions, we are thisclose to being deprived of the only candidate this year who is experienced, qualified, willing and able to lead this country out of Bush's abyss.

Why?

Because she is ridiculous.

Did you need to ask?

Cross-posted at The Confluence

Original photo at Chilean Fauna

A couple of very interesting polls have come out recently. One shows Barack Obama leading John McCain nationally, and another shows John McCain leading Barack Obama nationally. The difference between these polls? Likely Voters versus Registered Voters.

Obama was ahead 47%-44% among registered voters, down from a 6-percentage point lead he had last month. McCain led 49%-45% among likely voters, reversing a 5-point Obama lead among that group. In both cases, the margin of error is +/—4 points.

What's going on? Here is how USA Today explains the methodology behind their polling.

To determine whether they were likely voters, poll participants were asked how much thought they had given the election, how often they voted in the past and whether they plan to vote this fall. McCain's gains came because there was an even number of likely voters from each party. Last month, the Democrats had an 11-point edge. (emphasis added)

Now, there are two ways to look at that astonishing fact. One is that Republicans are starting to energize against Barack Obama. This is, of course, the way that USA Today interprets it.

The other is that Democrats are losing interest in Barack Obama and are planning on either voting down-ticket, staying home, or using the nuclear option (literally?) by voting for John McCain. This is the way I interpret it. I mean, gee whiz, doesn't that huge drop in support for Obama (11 points in one month) coincide quite interestingly with the formation of a certain group comprised of Democrats who don't support Obama? Golly, if only I could remember the name of that combine of crazy old ladies...

Never mind, it'll come to me. Meanwhile, let's read more of USA Today's interpretation of Obama's hemorrhaging of support within his own Party.

Nearly two months after the Democrats' pitched primary battle ended, more Republicans than Democrats say they are "giving quite a lot of thought" to the election. Backlash to Obama's trip, fueled by McCain's criticism, also boosts GOP engagement. Six in 10 Republicans said news media coverage of Obama's trip was "unfairly positive."

Aha! Only NOW are Republicans giving "quite a lot of thought" to the election! Before now, they weren't paying any attention whatsoever. And what a surprise - Republicans think the media favors Democrats. Oooooh. Shocker!

Has USA Today ever spoken to Republicans before? Newsflash: They always pay attention to Presidential elections; and they've been flogging the "liberal media" canard for decades. (In this case, it happens to be true that the media is pushing Obama, but that matters not. They would have said the same thing regardless.)

Sorry, darlings, it's not about the Republicans. It's about the Democrats and their desire to remake the Democratic Party without the Clintons. Bill and Hillary, what with their success and popularity and intelligence, really must make those liberal elitist Party Leaders feel as weak and inadequate as all get-out. What other reason could there be for this bizarre election strategy?

It's certainly not some quest for ideological purity. That notion is laughable. Obama's disgraceful vote for telecom/BushCheney immunity (otherwise known as the FISA bill) showed that he is nothing but a tool of the big corporations, especially AT&T, which has now been kind enough to sponsor the Democratic Convention. Good thing too, because I don't know how they were going to pay for it otherwise! (What? I'm sure there was no quid pro quo there whatsoever.)

A painfully ironic twist to this whole mess is that "evil corporate whore Hillary" voted AGAINST immunity. It didn't surprise those of us who actually know her record of keeping her promises, but it sure showed a lot of Obama supporters that the Senator from Illinois is "not the man they thought they knew."

And that is the weakness of Obama as a candidate. No one knows what he's going to do, and when he does do something, the base doesn't like it. As reflected in the USA Today story, that trip to Europe and Iraq didn't do him any favors here in America, where we actually vote and stuff. (Only 35% saw Senator Obama's "Look at Me, I'm Presidenting!" trip in a positive light.)

This is a major gamble by the Democrats. Can they win without Clinton's voters, who tend to have a long history of voting Democratic, as well as volunteering for, and donating to, Democratic candidates? Can they create enough LV's to counteract the loss of RV's, many of whom have become PUMAs in protest of this strategy?

In my opinion, their proposition is a losing one. If the Democrats want to win in November, they will have to get over their childish, vindictive hatred of Bill and Hillary Clinton and nominate Hillary at the Convention.

The alternative? Well, Nancy, Harry, Howard and Donna, what happens when you give a party and nobody comes?

PUMA!

Cross-posted at The Confluence

You know the most horrible, Orwellian and frustrating thing about Barack Obama's campaign?

He keeps doing things that are absolutely unprecedented and should induce whiplash in the corporate media, but they seem to pass totally unremarked. Things like removing his name from a state ballot, then claiming votes and delegates from that state (even stealing four of Hillary's delegates!); claiming that he clinched the nomination, when he didn't (he needed 2109 pledged delegates and didn't get them); becoming One with the DNC; moving DNC Headquarters to Chicago; taking a giant media entourage on his SO NOT POLITICAL faux-Presidential trip to Europe and Iraq; and so on and so on. No presumptive nominee has ever done any of these things. IOKIYO!

I've been waiting for a few days for someone to notice this little story in Politico, but so far, it seems to be slipping under the radar. So, for your hair-tearing pleasure, I give you:

The Price for Obama Tickets is Activism

The crowd enveloping Barack Obama when he accepts the Democratic nomination for president at Invesco Field at Mile High will be asked to get to work for the privilege of witnessing the historic event live.

In a half-hour interview Wednesday with The Denver Post, Obama's deputy campaign manager, Steve Hildebrand, said he wants to use the ticketing process as a massive recruitment tool meant to bring in supporters from all 50 states and energize them to carry the campaign into the final 60 days of the general election.

"We're going to ask those 80,000 people in that stadium to march out of there and go with very specific instructions and goals to register millions of new voters," Hildebrand said.

The campaign announced July 7 that it would hold the final night of the Aug. 25-28 convention at Invesco Field and open Obama's acceptance speech to thousands of spectators. Official details of the so-called community credential process are expected early next week, the campaign said.

By seating the 6,000 delegates down on the field normally defended by the Denver Broncos, and by keeping the number of journalists, technicians and VIPs at the same level as those attending the Pepsi Center events earlier in the week, the campaign could bring in more than 60,000 members of the public, Hildebrand said.

[snip]

Hildebrand said that to ensure that the campaign fills the stadium, the application process becomes in and of itself a recruiting tool.

"Every single person is going to be a level of seriousness," Hildebrand said. "You know, 'Tell us how you're going to get there from Maine. Tell us how you're going to get there from Florida. Give us a sense of whether or not you're really serious about this. If you're not, we're going to provide someone else with this.' "

Those who want a seat will begin the process at their local Democratic Party office. While demonstrating their ability to attend, they also will be encouraged to sign on to the campaign as volunteers.

"They fill out a form; there's a conversation," Hildebrand said. "We ask them and encourage them to register voters and to get out the vote and those activities that are important to us. It's not a requirement, but it's going to be an encouragement."

Another use of the Aug. 28 speech meant to leverage public support is to use a technique popular with the campaign to hand out names and phone numbers during its events and ask participants to use their cellphones to make get-out-the-vote calls.

If the Obama campaign has its way, there will not be one single solitary Hillary supporter in that entire stadium. Yet she has not conceded, has not released her delegates and could conceivably still win the nomination.

This is the creepiest, most underhanded, most cultish campaign I have ever seen. While the Obamanation becomes more and more suppressive and anti-democratic, the corporate media yawns and blabbers about whether or not he's patriotic enough. Um, who cares? George W. Bush was seen as patriotic, wasn't he?

Someone please wake me up from this nightmare.

THE SCENE: BILL BURTON, Barack Obama's campaign manager, is sitting behind a large chrome and glass desk in a well-appointed, modern office. A large, sleek metal box with two buttons rests on top of the desk. One button is red, and reads "Verbiage;" the other is green, and reads "Statistics."

There is a computer (the latest Mac, of course) and a printer on the side of the desk. His iPhone is lying on the desk: Bill is [duh!] too hip for a landline. Besides which, he doesn't want AT&T spying on HIM!

In front of the desk is DAVID AXELROD, Barack Obama's right-hand man. They are sipping cups of coffee and finishing up croissants. AXELROD also has an iPhone in his hand, from which he will read the action items for the meeting.]

BURTON: Ah! The almond croissant was particularly moist today. So, David, what's on the agenda?

AXELROD: Okay, Bill, we've got several things that need our immediate attention. First off, as you know, President Obama's foreign-policy experience has now been brought up to parity with John McCain's after his week-long tour of Europe and the Middle East. So we're all good there. However, we estimated that a million people would attend his speech in Berlin, and even with two free concerts thrown in, we were nowhere near that number. Can we figure out how many people attended?

BURTON: No problemo! [addressing the box on his desk] Computer, how many people attended the Berlin rally?

COMPUTER [in sultry female voice]: Please press the green button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: Two hundred thousand.

AXELROD: Great, great. I'll send it out now. [notates the number in his iPhone and quickly sends it off to his press mailing list] Okay, next item is: The President skipped a visit to the troops while in Berlin because the Pentagon wouldn't allow him to bring in his cameras. How do we make it clear that President Obama does not, in fact, think of the troops as just a campaign prop?

BURTON [drawing in his breath]: Oooooh, that's a tough one. Let's see what our girl can come up with. Computer, what is the reason for Obama's skipping his visit to the troops?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your answer is: I.A.C.F.

AXELROD [confused]: IACF?

BURTON [embarrassed at the faux pas]: Um, that stands for "It's All Clinton's Fault." I keep telling her that is no longer an acceptable response, but she keeps defaulting to it - I don't know why. [addressing computer] Computer, please give alternate reason.

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your alternate reason is: George W. Bush.

AXELROD: George W. Bush? What does she mean by that?

BURTON [nervously]: Search me. [both think for a moment]

AXELROD: Wait, wait! I've got it! We'll say the Pentagon stopped him from going. They were worried that it would look like a campaign visit. Brilliant, Bill! Gotta love that machine. [BURTON is visibly relieved. AXELROD dashes off another communique to the press corpse.] All right all right all right! Now, how about this one? People are raising the issue that President Obama's senior thesis is nowhere to be found.

BURTON: Heh. Thank goodness.

AXELROD: Yeah. So anyway, since Hillary's thesis was thoroughly reviewed and dissected in the media, why haven't we released Barack's?

BURTON: Wow. That IS a stumper! Computer, why haven't we released President Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Your question contains a logical fallacy. Please rephrase.

BURTON [rolling his eyes]: Fine, fine. [to AXELROD] She can't handle it when I say "President Obama." So literal-minded! [re-addressing computer] Computer, why haven't we released Senator Obama's thesis?

COMPUTER: Please press the red button. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: "The absurdity of spending any time discussing this issue on television at all makes it difficult to even respond to what you’ve done. Even presenting a balanced argument of what is such a specious story does not do justice to the ridiculousness of giving this any oxygen whatsoever."

[slight pause]

AXELROD: Well, it's a bit wordy, but I think it's the right tone. Great job again, Bill! Off it goes to my press contacts. [AXELROD works his iPhone.]

BURTON [looking at his iPhone]: So, David, is that about it? You know I have to bring the President his waffles.

AXELROD: Oh, just one more thing. Can that model do predictions?

BURTON [doubtfully]: Well, we did install a new module last week, but it's more of a "Magic Eight Ball" than a real analyzer.

AXELROD: Ahhhh, so what? Let's try her out. We may get something we like.

BURTON: Okey-dokey. What do you want me to ask her?

AXELROD: Ask her to predict the results of the November election. Who will become our next President? [snickering] As if we didn't know the answer to that.

BURTON [snickering]: Yeah! That's a good one, Davey. Let's have a little fun. Computer, who will become our next President?

COMPUTER: Please rotate me three times. [BURTON does so.] Your response is: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

BURTON: What? There must be some kind of malfunction. [starts hitting the side of the box]

COMPUTER: Barack Obama's campaign will self-destruct in thirty days.

AXELROD: What the hell is that bitch talking about? [crosses to desk and starts hitting the other side of the box]

COMPUTER: Party Unity, My Ass. PUMA. PUMA. PUMA! [COMPUTER explodes with a giant BANG! and a large puff of smoke.]

[After the smoke clears, BURTON and AXELROD have dirty faces, electric-shock hair, and exasperated expressions.]

AXELROD: Fifth one this month.

BURTON: Yup. Maybe we need a stronger anti-PUMA program. The PUMA virus keeps infecting all our bots.

AXELROD: Well, work on it, will ya? This is getting ridiculous. [begins walking out]

BURTON: Hey, Dave?

AXELROD: Yes, Bill?

BURTON: What if PUMA is the anti-virus, not the virus? What if we are the infection, and the Democratic body keeps rejecting us?

[brief pause]

AXELROD [menacingly]: Bill, you want my advice? Stop thinking so hard, or you'll end up going the way of your computer there.

BURTON [cowed]: Yessir. No problem. I was just -

AXELROD: I know what you were doing. Now, put your happy face on and go get the President his breakfast.

BURTON: Right away, sir. [involuntarily bursting out] PUMA!

AXELROD: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BURTON [sheepishly]: Sorry, Dave. It's catching!

[LIGHTS OUT.]

[Original photos here and here.]

A commenter at The Confluence found this extraordinary chronology of the relationship between KKKarl and Donna.

If you don't have an "ah-HA!" moment after you read this, STEP AWAY FROM THE KOOL-AID. It's obviously causing brain damage.

No wonder Obama is starting to sound like a right-wing Republican. No wonder he is getting such favorable media instead of McCain, the original and traditional Media Darling. No wonder he had so much money at the beginning of his campaign - over $100 million from Bush Pioneers, oil companies, and Republican bundlers. No wonder he won red-state caucuses so handily but often lost the primaries from those same states. (A prime example: The Texas Pri-Caucus. Hillary won the primaries but Obama won the caucuses; thus he claimed victory in the delegate count.) Obama earned more delegates from his Idaho caucus victory than Clinton did from her victories in Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island COMBINED.

The unholy matrimony between Bush's Brain and the Democratic Party was cemented by Brazile's desire to recreate the Democratic Party in the image of the Republican Party - but with African-Americans as the powerbrokers instead of rich white men. Incredibly, she calls this corruption of the Party of the working class "mobilizing the grassroots."

As for Rove, he wanted to knock out John McCain, a man whom Bush has still not forgiven for voting against the Deciderer's disastrous tax cuts, and of course make sure Hillary Clinton, the only strong progressive Democrat in the race, did not win the White House. There is no chance that Hillary would forgo the opportunity to prosecute Rove and Co. for all of their heinous crimes against America and its people.

But Obama? His chief legal advisor, Cass Sunstein, has already gone on record as saying that Bush-Cheney should not be impeached. And of course, Obama has already voted to immunize the telecom companies, and by extension the Bush Administration, for their illegal warrantless wiretapping of Americans. Of course, the warrantless wiretapping program is one of the most rock-solid reasons for impeachment, according to Constitutional law experts. Poof! There it went.

If Obama wins, the Bush agenda will continue, and there will be no accountability whatsoever for Rove, Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld and Rice. If McCain wins, what happens next will be determined mostly by a Congress with a much larger Democratic majority than in 2006, and with a much more diverse set of interests than those pushing either McCain or Obama (and possibly Hillary Clinton as Senate Majority Leader).

I'll take Choice B for $600, Alex.

By the way, if you'd like to remember what a real Democrat looks and sounds like, here's Hillary speaking on the Senate floor about alternative energy investment and gas price reduction.

Ah, a Democratic politician who believes in Democratic values.

WANT.

Dear PUMAs,

Please, please, please stop paying attention to what we are doing. Our nerves are shot, thinking that our pre-planned installation of Barack Obama might not go through! Seriously, kitties - you think Howard Dean screamed in Iowa? You should hear him now!

We honestly thought everyone would unify behind Obama! Um, well, okay, we didn't really think that, since we've repeatedly told you we don't need you to win. But, ha ha, we were just kidding when we said you usually voted Republican! Can't you all take a joke?

Okay, maybe you all think Obama himself is a joke. Fair enough. He certainly has made a lot of gaffes lately. Tee-hee - he even claimed credit for legislation created by the Senate Banking Committee, calling it "my committee!" We thought it was hilarious that he pretended to head up a committee of which he is not even a member. Gotta love that Obama chutzpah! Ooooh-weeee!

Shouldn't you all be on vacation or something? Why have you been noticing how much Obama's positions are starting to resemble a rightwing Republican's? On everything from abortion to the Fourth Amendment to the war in Iraq, he's been throwing mainstream Democratic positions out the window, or as you would say, "under the bus." But if we tell you he's a Democrat, he's a Democrat! Why are you questioning our authoriteh?

Another thing. What is with this ridiculous insistence on Hillary's name being placed into the nomination at the Convention? Just because it's always been done that way is no reason to steal the nomination, which he has not yet earned, away from Obama! What's the matter, are you all racists or something?

In conclusion, just get over it. Acknowledge that we own your vote. And after the election, we don't expect to hear a peep out of you ever again, because we are the ones you've been waiting for.

Yours In Obama For America,

The DNC

And I must say, it was a lot of fun.

Here, for your listening pleasure, is: Obama Hears a Huh?! A Play in One Oblivious Act, from The Confluence Players. (Turn it up - the sound is a bit faint.)

Cast:

Stage Directions - Riverdaughter
Barack Obama - Mawm
Bill Burton - Garychapelhill
Michelle Obama - Madamab
Sound Effects - Sheri Tag

Some people might say that I have strong opinions. [wink] Yet people who know me will not hesitate to tell you that I do admit when I'm wrong. And this primary season has been full of painful bricks falling on my heretofore clueless haid.

Here are just a few of the things I've realized as a result of the epic battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama:

• Sexism is NOT dead.


• The leaders of the Democratic Party hate Hillary and Bill Clinton, to the point of deliberately torpedoing Hillary's primary campaign in every possible way - including promoting an unqualified, inexperienced candidate in her stead, simply because he is African-American.


• Sometimes, the right-wing stereotypes about Democrats are right.


• Howard Dean would have made a bad President.


• John Edwards may have quit before Super Tuesday because it is possible that he is cheating on his cancer-stricken wife. He would have made a bad President too.


• The "progressive" media, for the most part, is not progressive at all. They just want in on the levers of power. So much for the Daily Kos, HuffPo, Air Obama, er, America...


• A President must represent the center of the country, not an extreme fringe of left or right. Bush pretended to be a centrist, but was in reality a far-right radical. That is why his presidency was so harmful. In the same way, a far-left radical (like me) would not be an appropriate choice to lead this country. So, my place in the political spectrum is, and should be, on the fringes. (Now if only we could get the far-right wingnuts to realize the same thing!)


• The Democratic Party is becoming as corporate-friendly and corrupt as the Republican Party.

What about you? Have you learned anything during this crazy election season? Oh, and by the way:

CHECK ME OUT ON BLOGTALK RADIO TONIGHT!

THE SCENE: NANCY PELOSI's office. Like her home, it is tastefully furnished in pastels. Comfy chairs are placed strategically around her desk. PELOSI is sitting behind it, looking at her computer screen and humming slightly.

A knock is heard at the door.

PELOSI: Come in!

[HOWARD DEAN, HARRY REID and DONNA BRAZILE enter.]

PELOSI [smiling]: Hi, everyone! How's everything going? Is all well with Obama for America?

DEAN: Oh, absolutely, Nancy! That trip to Europe and the Middle East has the media creaming its collective pants.

BRAZILE: Oh, HELL yeah. Man, you should see the photo-ops our future President has been getting!

REID [muttering]: Yeah - too bad we can't tape his mouth shut.

PELOSI [sweetly]: What was that, Harry dear?

REID [sighing]: Nothing, Nancy. Anyway, the reason we're here -

PELOSI: Let me guess - PUMA?

[ALL FOUR SIGH SIMULTANEOUSLY. REID, DEAN AND BRAZILE sit down dispiritedly.]

DEAN: Nancy, we just don't know what to do.

BRAZILE: We've tried telling them we don't need them and to get over it -

REID: We've tried ignoring them -

DEAN: Nothing is working! They STILL say they won't vote for President Obama!

PELOSI [soothingly]: Now, now, everyone calm down. All they're looking for is a little reassurance that we respect and honor them. [rising] No offense, but I think what you need is a more motherly approach.

BRAZILE: I KNEW we came to the right place! Harry, I can't believe you didn't want to ask her.

REID [exasperated]: Jesus, Donna! The important thing is, we're here now. So, Nancy, what do you suggest?

PELOSI [sitting back down behind her desk]: Come back in 15 minutes. I promise you won't be disappointed. [PELOSI, BRAZILE AND REID file out of the office.]

[FIFTEEN MINUTES PASS. Another knock at the door.]

PELOSI: Come in, everyone!

[BRAZILE, DEAN AND REID come in and sit down expectantly.]

DEAN: Well, Nancy, what have you got for us?

PELOSI: Check it out! [rising, clearing her throat, pacing while reading]

"Dearest PUMAs,

Please do not worry about a thing. All your concerns will be addressed once President Obama has taken office. You should emulate that paragon of patriotism, Britney Spears, and just trust us with the future of your country. After all, we have done such a great job with our majority since 2006!

As for the Vice Presidentship, that is President Obama's decision, not yours. I hate to be stern with you, because we really value your unquestioning support, but you realize that we are in charge and not you, don't you? I mean, it's not like it would really matter anyway. Hillary is yesterday's news. We are moving forward into a new, post-partisan, unicorn-filled future with our young, handsome, charming rockstar candidate!

So why don't you all just give up and let us do whatever we want? Resistance is futile, and you will be assimilated.

Love and kisses,

Grandma Pelosi"

[PELOSI stops, and waits expectantly. DEAN, BRAZILE and REID sit in stunned silence. Then, happy, relieved smiles break over their faces.]

BRAZILE: Damn, Nancy, that was fantastic!

DEAN: Wow. Great, great job, Madame Speaker. The iron fist in the velvet glove.

REID: Yeah - even I've gotta admit, that was a stellar performance. Brava!

PELOSI [preening]: Well, this oughta fix their wagon. Nothing can stop Obama now!

[ALL FOUR LAUGH. The Princess phone on PELOSI's desk rings.]

PELOSI: Hello? Oh, Hillary, is that you? [EVERYONE stops laughing.] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-HUH. Well...um...of course that's your decision...uh...yes, yes, of course. I understand. [PELOSI hangs up the phone, shell-shocked.]

[brief pause while EVERYONE looks at PELOSI.]

REID [who can't take the tension any more]: Damnit, Nancy! What happened!

PELOSI: Well, um...it appears that Hillary has been getting an earful from her supporters. She has decided to place her name in nomination at the Convention, so that means...she could actually win instead of Barack.

[EVERYONE is mute with consternation.]

BRAZILE [breaking the silence]: Well, well, well. Looks like it's gonna be a very interesting summer.

[LIGHTS OUT]

Today I am submitting my questions to Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney for our upcoming interview. Phew! Qweschuns are hard work, as our beloved Deciderer knows so well.

In the meantime, here are some posts to keep you busy:

Charles Lemos has an excellent piece at No Quarter on how Obama is being mocked from all sides of the spectrum.

Riverdaughter explains how to save the Democratic Party.

Firedoglake notices that evangelical outreach has its downside. Who suffers? Why, women, of course.

Joseph Cannon outlines the so-called "Pottery Barn Rule" to the Obamans.

I wish you all a happy Monday. Now, back to work!

By now, you may have seen this absolutely wince-worthy effort by the DNC's Don Fowler and Alice Germond to get us PUMAs to fall in line and support the presumptuous nominee.

Here are some of my favorite parts:

I must confess a bit of fatigue and irritation with people who continue to carp, complain, and criticize the results of the primary and lay down conditions for their support.

Aw, sweetie, are our petty little concerns about the Obama/DNC Conglomerate rigging our primary election making you feel periodically down? It's hard to imagine why Democrats would care about a fair and honest election, isn't it? Poor thing. Do you need a Motrin?

While that last bit is hilarious in its petulance, this part is just irredeemably stupid.

The Los Angeles Lakers didn't establish conditions to recognize the Boston Celtics as NBA Champions; Roger Federer did not demand concessions before recognizing that Rafael Nadal defeated him at Wimbledon.

Well, did the referees throw the games for those teams, or did they win according to the rules, honestly and fairly? Last time I checked, the Celtics didn't have to steal points from the Lakers and claim 20 of their baskets "didn't count" in order to become NBA Champs.

Jesus Christ, how willfully ignorant are these people?

It doesn't take long for the claws to come out. Man, that must be one raging case of EDS (Electoral Dysfunction Syndrome)! Maybe some dark chocolate and a "Sex In the City" marathon would help?

It is time to act in a mature and resourceful fashion. It's time to put the primaries behind us.

That's right, we are immature and bitter and just need to GET OVER IT! Talk to the hands, you annoying PUMAs!

And now, for the pièce de résistance:

It's time to support Barack Obama without conditions or demands.

Excuse me? This is not laughable, it's downright scary. Do we ever support any politician without conditions or demands in this country? Does Barack Obama want to be a king or a president? What about the words "public servant" does he and his enablers misunderstand?

Look, it's very simple. Neither Obama nor Clinton has won the nomination until August 28th. Clinton has suspended her campaign, and has not conceded. She has not released her delegates, so they are free to vote for her at the Convention. Let that happen, and accept the consequences of that vote, or the nominee will be selected, not elected.

If you want something from your voters, you don't order them to do it. You ask them, and you recognize when they have legitimate grievances. Otherwise, you will lose them forever.

Are you listening, Party Leaders?

You are in danger of permanently alienating 18 million Democratic voters for the sake of an illegitimate, unqualified and unelectable nominee.

I don't know what it will take to get this message across before the Convention, but judging from the flop sweat beginning to emanate from the DNC, we are starting to make headway. Keep it up, PUMAs everywhere!

Get involved here.

Check out the latest ad from The Denver Group here.

Listen to PUMAs on No We Won't Radio here.

Party Unity, My Ass!

So, yesterday I figured my blood pressure had slipped a little low. I wandered over to The New York Times to see what David "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader" Brooks had to say. I mean, I find myself agreeing with both Ed Koch AND Paul Krugman these days, so why not give Bobo a try?

Let's just say, the man did not disappoint.

The first part of the editorial was actually quite well-written. I wondered if my Bizarro-World experiences lately had caused me to hallucinate.

We’re entering an era of epic legislation. There are at least five large problems that will compel the federal government to act in gigantic ways over the next few years.

First, there is the erosion of the social contract. Private sector firms are less likely to provide health benefits, producing a desperate need for health care reform. Second, there is the energy shortage. Rising Asian demand strains worldwide supply, threatening industry and consumers, and producing calls for a bold energy initiative. Third, there is the stagnation in human capital. During the 20th century, Americans were better educated than the citizens of any other power. Since 1970, that lead has been forfeited, producing inequality and wage stagnation. To compete, the U.S. will require a series of human capital initiatives.

Fourth, there’s financial market reform. In an intricately connected world, even Republican administrations cannot allow big institutions to fail. If government is going to guarantee against failure, then it is inevitably going to get more involved in regulating how businesses are run. Fifth, there’s infrastructure reform. The U.S. transportation system is in shambles and will require major new projects.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is the first time I've seen anyone in the MCM lay out the massive problems that face the next administration so succinctly. My eyes were wide with astonishment and happiness. Was this a new era of substantive political discussion by the New York Times?

Of course not. Read on, if you dare.

All of this means that the next few years will be an age of government activism. You may think, therefore, that this situation is ripe for Democratic dominance. The Democrats are the natural party of federal vigor. Voters prefer Democratic approaches to issues like health care and education by as much as 25 percentage points.

Yet, historically, periods of great governmental change have often been periods of conservative rule. It’s as if voters understand that they need big changes, but they want those changes planned and enacted by leaders who will restrain the pace of change and prevent radical excess.

No, it's as if David Brooks stopped reading history after 1929. But hey, he has to justify his McCain love somehow. Who cares if he completely ignores FDR's four terms in office, during which the New Deal was created and successfully implemented? Or perhaps he is forgetting LBJ and the Civil Rights Amendment?

The only "conservative" American President he could find to justify his preposterous thesis was Theodore Roosevelt, who resembles John McCain about as much as Beverly Sills resembles Britney Spears. His other example was Benjamin Disraeli, because conservatism in England is exactly the same as conservatism in America. [snort] In any case, here is how McCain equals The Rough Rider in the fuzzy brain of Mr. Brooks.

"The true function of the state as it interferes in social life,” Roosevelt wrote, “should be to make the chances of competition more even, not to abolish them.”

John McCain’s challenge is to recreate this model. He will never get as many cheers in Germany as Barack Obama, but for a century his family has embodied American heroism.

Ah, there it is - that delightful soupçon of élitism without which a Brooks column just isn't complete. You know you simply cannot implement change unless your family has been in America for at least 100 years being all heroic and stuff. Otherwise it's just change for change's sake! The White House will be painted in rainbow stripes, the Oval Office will smell like patchouli, and President Democrat will enact legislation forcing all Americans to wear their underwear on the outside. The Horror!

The column is a laughable effort by Brooks, to be sure, but to be fair, conservative propagandists are having a harder and harder time pushing their line these days. After all, Bush has proven that today's conservatism (a toxic stew of X-treme Reagonomics wedded to a Christofascist domestic policy and a neo-conservative foreign policy) is a recipe for disaster - the results of which Brooks readily acknowledges in the first portion of his column. The problem is, how to keep Democrats from another four decades of legislative - and possibly executive - dominance?

Poor Bobo. It's hard work being a Minister of Truthiness these days.

At least I know that in this world where every day seems to be Opposite Day, David Brooks can still be counted on to raise the blood pressure of almost everyone who reads his mind-blowingly crapulent bloviating.

Mission Accomplished, baby.

Wanna prod your Congresscritters to do something about KKKarl? Watch this remarkably concise summation of Rove's criminal doings from Robert Greenwald, then sign the petition to have the Turd Blossom permanently decked out in unflattering orange and leg chains. We all know that there is enough evidence to put this putz in jail for the next 40 years.

Executive privilege, my ass!

As some of my regular readers know, I am a professional singer as well as a politics-obsessed bloggista. Last night, I was privileged to sing in a Concert for Life, sponsored by the Project People Foundation. The experience left an indelible impression on me.

My part in the concert was small: I was there as a "backup" for the Cantor at the temple where I sing. (That temple has long been a partner in PPF's efforts). The rest of the time, I was able to sit, snack, and enjoy the other performers. And what a show it was!

Project People Foundation is dedicated to improving the lives of impoverished and AIDs-scourged South Africans. To highlight this focus, PPF opened the concert with performances from South Africans who are part of the cast of The Lion King. They danced and sang with amazing energy, skill and passion. Then, an absolutely phenomenal gospel group sang several pieces that were so inspiring, they almost convinced me to convert. (Oy!) In the middle of all of this was a celebration of Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday, complete with a gorgeous cake.

Finally, the gospel choir closed with a knockout performance of "We Shall Overcome," with the first verse sung in Hebrew to honor the Temple's participation. The entire room stood up and held hands spontaneously. It was incredibly moving to touch strangers and colleagues in such a comfortable way, and sing along with that ultimate anthem of faith and resolve.

That was the sweet, and how sweet it was.

And now, for the bitter.

The performance took place at a large, prominent, mostly African-American church. Barack Obama's name was mentioned twice by various speakers, both times in the context of how inspiring it was as an example to children and adults that an African-American could be nominated as a Presidential candidate. (He hasn't clinched the nomination yet, but I knew where they were coming from.) The folks in the room seemed to agree (I saw a few nods and heard a quiet "Yes!" or two), but there was no applause or loud affirmation of these statements. (And believe me, this crowd was not shy - if you've ever been to a service in a black church, you know what I'm talking about.)

In fact, both of these statements were made by men, and I saw some female faces around the room freeze a little, as mine did. I wondered if the two thoughts that went through my head were running through theirs:

1) Women of color could have been inspired by Hillary as well as Obama; and

2) Why isn't he better?

Let's address #1 first.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright mentioned Hillary Clinton in his controversial "God Damn America" sermon, and his remarks were instructive. He asserted that Hillary hadn't had to work twice as hard as a white man to get the same job. It was a laughable and hugely ironic statement in the context of this primary, considering that Hillary has now all but lost the nomination to a man, although she was the winner of the popular vote and has a resume that, by any objective measure, dwarfs Obama's.

Clearly, gender equality is not a part of Reverend Wright's awareness. As every woman in his congregation could have told him, women do have to work twice as hard as a man in order to get the same job. Of course, even if they are fortunate enough to get such a job, they are paid, on average, 77 cents to the man's dollar.

Is there any reason to assume that Hillary Clinton would not continue her work to gain gender equality as President? No. The only way to beat Hillary was to smear her with false accusations of racism and race-baiting, and that is exactly what his campaign did. Out of an understandable sense of community, only a brave few African-Americans stood up for her or Bill Clinton in the face of Obama's divisive tactics, and those who did were intimidated with primary challenges or, in some cases, death threats from the Obama camp.

As frustrating as #1 is to me, #2 is what really hurt. Why is he The One, as Oprah famously dubbed him? What has he ever done for the black community? What has he promised to do for the black community? Why does he talk down to the NAACP and perpetuate white stereotypes about his own people?

Why doesn't he appreciate how much his community needs a figure of great stature, a person who aspires to be a fighter for social justice for all Americans, a person who strives for peace and an end to institutionalized racism and bigotry of all kinds - yes, even unto sexism and homophobia? Why isn't he humbled a bit by what the unqualified support of the black community means?

It breaks my heart that Senator Obama was not asked these questions by the Party Leaders before they decided to elevate him to national status. Fair or not, an African-American candidate will bear the burdens of his long-suffering community on his shoulders, just as Hillary would be expected to bear the burdens of long-suffering women on hers. And as I looked at all the faces around me last night, holding hands with a beautiful stranger and pledging to overcome, I could only think: African-Americans deserve better. They deserve so much better than vague platitudes about hope and change. They deserve a deep understanding of their plight and a lifelong commitment of time and resources, of heart and soul, towards mitigating that plight.

For all of our sakes, I hope they get what they deserve from America and, should he prevail, Barack Obama. As we all know, it's been a long time coming.

With this week's Netroots Nation starting today, there will be two viewpoints represented: that of the centrist (aka EEEEEEVIL) DLC (represented by DLC leader Harold Ford), and that of the virtuous, pure, liberal/progressive netroots (represented by Markos Moulitsas of the Daily Kos).

Or so they would have you believe.

When the "progressive" blogosphere burst on the scene several years ago, I could not have been more thrilled. I was so tired of the corporate media covering up for the Deciderer and his criminal and anti-American activities. Here, at last, with the help of Talking Points Memo, Daily Kos, Huffington Post and Eschaton, I could find like-minded individuals who wanted to know what was REALLY going on and who had the resources to find out. I also could take action by joining Moveon.org and Democracy for America. It was a heady, wonderful time for me, and I thought we were all on the same page.

Then, things began to change.

IOKIYAR, the ironic bloggy appellation for "It's OK If You're A Republican," suddenly morphed into IOKIYO - "It's OK If You're Obama." No matter how many rightwing frames and positions Obama took, no matter how he insulted women, gays or African Americans, no matter how much he lied about Bill Clinton's record and smeared him and Hillary as racists - It Was OK. He was Obama, and besides which, he was not a Clinton, and....because that's why! Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh!

The incredible irony of it all was that Markos pretended he didn't like the Clintons because of their "triangulation." Yet Obama, that progressive Jeebus of the blogosphere, has been triangulating much more than Hillary and Bill ever did - and in ways that are destined to reach out to Republicans and Independents, not Democrats.

Take, for example, Hillary's AUMF vote. This was THE excuse for Hillary Hatred in the "progressive" blogosphere. Now, I can't tell you how much I disagreed with that vote, but I believe that Hillary was doing her job at the time. Why? Because it was what her constituents wanted. It's hard to imagine now, but back when Bush pushed that awful legislation on the Congress, support for an invasion of Iraq was very high. We liberal/progressive/dirty fucking hippies were in the minority. So, despite her misgivings, which she stated very eloquently on the floor, Hillary voted for the resolution. Had Bush abided by it, we would not be in Iraq now.

As badly as that vote turned out, it was aimed at the center. Not, however, the center of the rightwing conservatives in the Republican Party, at which Barack Obama seems to be aiming, with his massive outreach to evangelical Christian voters, abandonment of his promises on telecom immunity, and ever-fuzzier language on abortion, gun rights and Iraq. No, that vote was aiming at the center of the Democratic Party - which, I believe, is the center of the American political psyche.

Hillary Clinton's phenomenally successful Presidential run showed me that the center of the Democratic Party is where the country feels most at home. 18 million voters came out to say "Yes!" to Hillary's populist, New Deal-style platform. Hillary won more votes than any candidate, male or female, had ever won in a primary contest.

Senator Clinton's voters completely ignored all the machinations of the media and the DNC/Obama conglomerate. They were told their votes wouldn't count in Michigan and Florida, but millions voted anyway. They didn't listen to the grandiose pronouncements of Hillary's early demise after Obama's long run of victories in February. They didn't care that Obama was being declared the winner before all the votes had been counted. Time after time, Hillary showed her incredible strength with the poor and the working class, chalking up 40-point wins over Obama in West Virginia and Kentucky despite their lateness in the primary calendar. The enthusiasm of the Clinton voters could not be denied.

Yet Hillary was not good enough for the netroots. Her voting record was 91% progressive, her platform was more leftist than Obama's, and she had the experience and competence to clean up the giant pile of poop the Chimp has left on our country's carpet.

The netroots didn't care.

They called her every name in the book. They expected her to quit in February, although no candidate in such a close race for the nomination had ever done so. They said she was divisive and ruining the Democratic Party. They made up ridiculous stories about how she was darkening Obama's skin in a video and spreading a picture of Obama in "Muslim garb." They sneered at her physique, her clothes, her shoes. Obama called her supporters in Pennsylvania and Ohio racist, bitter xenophobes, and the netroots were more than happy to perpetuate with those stereotypes. They said she was crazy, a stalker, a character in a Monty Python movie. Are we to believe that a pure desire to purge the Party of "triangulation" and "centrism" are really the source of this unreasoning bile?

I certainly do not believe it, and neither should anyone who has been paying attention.

So where is the battle for the true soul of the Party being fought?

It's not at Netroots Nation, where the struggle is one of power rather than of principle. Markos is fighting for a seat at Obama's table, and he means to have it by hook or by crook.

No, the ones battling for the soul of the Democratic Party are Hillary Clinton and her PUMA supporters.

We aren't at Netroots Nation, because neither the Markos coalition nor the DLC speaks for us. We are here, around the "Internets", doing our daily actions, contacting superdelegates and the DNC, and fighting to keep the FDR/Clinton wing of the party alive.

Because that, my friends, is the true center. And I hope that after the November election, whatever happens, PUMA will keep fighting for that center, and pushing for the populist, liberal agenda that the netroots and the DLC have abandoned by backing Barack Obama at all costs.

The good guys are going to need all the help they can get.

[THE SCENE: A theatre with a long runway extending from the stage area. Seated beside the runway in three directors' chairs are BARACK OBAMA, MICHELLE OBAMA and DAVID AXELROD, Obama's right-hand man. On the proscenium arch above the stage, a sign reads: "Election Runway - You're Either In, or You're Out!" Written below it are the words, "DEMOCRATS ENTER HERE."

DEMOCRATIC VOTERS enter through the stage curtains and wander onto the runway, a veritable Rainbow Coalition of races, ages, etc. Whenever a single voter is intended to represent a group of people, that voter will have a sign or a label indicating as much. All are chattering excitedly.]

YOUNG VOTER #1: OMG, I am like so excited about this election! I can't believe we get to choose among so many great candidates. Finally, good-bye to Bush and those horrible Republicans!

MIDDLE-AGED VOTER #2: Yeah. God, the Republicans suck. Some of them actually said they didn't believe in evolution? What century are they living in?

[ALL THE VOTERS LAUGH DERISIVELY.]

OLDER VOTER #3: Look at us. We represent the best of this country. We've got a woman, an African American AND a Hispanic! Those Republicans are so boring. Nothing but white men as far as the eye can see!

[AXELROD clears his throat.]

AXELROD: Okay, people, let's get this show on the road!

VOTERS [muttering to themselves]: Who's that guy? What's going on? Where are the other candidates?

OBAMA [clapping his hands together]: People, please! Can we have a little quiet so we can start the show?

[THE VOTERS quiet down, but look confused. A woman raises her hand.]

WOMAN: Uh, Senator Obama? Where are the other candidates? I thought this was Election Runway!

[While the voters and the judges talk, HOWARD DEAN enters through the stage curtains and switches the sign from "Election Runway" to "Obama's Runway." He then bows and exits the same way he came.]

MICHELLE [smiling]: Tell 'em, Barack.

OBAMA: Democratic Voters, this - is Obama's Runway! As you know, in politics, one day you're in - and the next day, you're out!

[THE VOTERS mutter amongst themselves.]

VOTER #1: Wait a minute. I don't get it. I signed up for Election Runway. Is this a different show?

AXELROD [snickering]: Yeah, we just said that so you'd all show up. Fact is, this show is about US choosing YOU. [As Axelrod speaks, DONNA BRAZILE slinks in through the stage curtains. She has a big label on the lapel of her suit which reads "BOUNCER."]

OBAMA: All right, folks, let's get started. Let's see. David, who are our contestants this time?

AXELROD: First up: rural voters. What have you got to say for yourselves? You voted for Hillary in the primaries. What makes you think you deserve to be part of Obama for America?

RURAL VOTER #1: Obama for America? I thought this show was for Democrats! I don't know what Obama for America means. [The other rural voters nod and loudly agree.]

OBAMA: I'm sorry, rural voters. You don't belong with Obama for America. You're out. Auf wiedersehn! [BRAZILE steps forward and ushers them off the stage.]

AXELROD: Next up: the voters of Michigan and Florida. Listen, people, we'd really like to include you, but as you know, your elections were illegitimate, so -

FLORIDA VOTER [interrupting]: Now wait just a damn minute. It's not our fault our legislature monkeyed with our primary dates. Why are you blaming us?

MICHIGAN VOTER: Yeah! And Senator Obama, why did you and John Edwards remove yourselves from the ballot in my state? You really messed things up for us out here with that "Uncommitted" nonsense.

BLOGGER: And what about the other states that moved their primaries? Why weren't they penalized like Michigan and Florida? Could it be because you thought Obama would win them?

BRAZILE [stepping forward]: What the hell are these people talking about? Who do they think they are? We make the rules here - did you not see that my committee is called the RULES Committee? Sheesh! Just face it, you're not getting into Obama for America. You don't deserve it because you preferred that pandering triangulator to my guy. You're out! Auf freaking wiedersehn! Howard, give me a hand here!

[HOWARD DEAN comes back in and he and BRAZILE usher the Michigan and Florida voters and the inconvenient blogger out. HOWARD DEAN disappears again behind the curtain.]

OBAMA: This stage is looking better and better. Now, how about African-American voters? What do they have to say for themselves! [aside] As if I didn't know the answer to THAT one.

AA VOTER #1: We are behind you 93 percent!

AA VOTER #2: We love you, Barack!

AXELROD [satisfied]: Well, I think they're in, don't you, Michelle?

MICHELLE: Oh, absoLUTEly. You all are privileged to join Obama for America! Don't mind Barack's lectures on how you need to take more personal responsibility and all that crap. You know liberal white folks eat that shit up. Am I right? Anyway, you're in. You can go stand over there.

[BRAZILE, smiling, ushers them over to a spot on the other side of the runway. A sign hangs over it reading "Obama for America. Yes, We Can!"]

OBAMA [rubbing his hands]: Okay, we're really making progress now. Hey, what about this group - the, um, blogosphere?

AXELROD: Oh, they're definitely in - all except those bitter, delusional, racist, menopausal PUMAs. Go take your places, folks, you earned it!

[Two BLOGGERS go over to the Obama for America sign and stand next to the AA voters].

[A female Clinton voter steps forward.]

CLINTON VOTER: Excuse me, but this is crazy. Are you saying that you don't want us Democrats in the Democratic coalition? You don't want us to vote for you? You don't care if we stay home or vote for McCain in protest?

OBAMA [smiling]: You got it, sweetie! You're out. Auf wiedersehn!

[BRAZILE tries to usher the CLINTON VOTER out.]

CLINTON VOTER: Don't worry, Donna, I'll see MYSELF out - and I'll take my friends with me. [she stalks off the stage, taking all but two voters with her.]

AXELROD AND MICHELLE: Finally! [The bloggers in the Obama for America area cheer exuberantly.]

OBAMA [looking quizzically at the two voters left]: So, uh - who are you two?

NEW VOTER: I'm a new voter! A lot of my friends said they were coming, but they decided to buy the new iPhone instead. Oh well!

WEALTHY LIBERAL: I'm a, well, how do I put this without offending you poor people?

AXELROD: Hahahahaha! We know who you are. Okay, you and New Voter there, you are in. Welcome to Obama for America! [BRAZILE ushers them over to the Obama for America space. There are only six people there - NEW VOTER, TWO AA VOTERS, TWO BLOGGERS and ONE WEALTHY LIBERAL.]

[Awkward silence, as the successful contestants and the judges evaluate each other.]

MICHELLE [a little uncomfortable, aside]: Um, Barack, I thought you said there'd be a lot more of them.

OBAMA: [aside] Don't worry, Michelle. The rest of them will come around before Election Day. After all, who's gonna vote for that assclown McCain? Those polls are a bunch of bull. [Aloud] Congratulations, everyone! You are now part of the New Democratic Coalition. You are the ones you've been waiting for!

NEW VOTER: Omigod, I've never won anything before! I'm so excited! I'll bet we win a full withdrawal from Iraq!

AA VOTER: You think so? That would be fantastic! I hope it's universal health care. I'm a working mother and I sure could use it.

WEALTHY LIBERAL: Oooh, is it a serious commitment to countering the effects of climate change? I am really looking forward to that!

BLOGGER: I can't WAIT to get our Constitution back. I'll bet we're going to get a filibuster of that stupid FISA bill! No more spying on Americans!

[They all start talking at once. Unnoticed, OBAMA, MICHELLE, AXELROD and BRAZILE shrug, and start walking out a side door.]

BRAZILE: Jeez. What a bunch of whiners. If they wanted all that stuff, they should have voted for Kucinich, Edwards, or God forbid, Hillary.

AXELROD: Really. I mean, Barack might have promised some of those things, but those people should have known they were just best-case scenarios. Who keeps campaign promises anyway? Why don't they just ask for a pony or something?

OBAMA: I sure hope they don't think it's my job to do what THEY want. I don't even let the Party Leaders tell me what to do!

MICHELLE: Hey Barack? What exactly ARE you planning to do once you get into the Oval Office?

[All judges stop their exits. Brief pause while all look at Obama. He is stumped for a second, then grins.]

OBAMA: No one knows! That's the beauty of how David has run my campaign. All things to all people!

AXELROD: You got it, Barack. Let's hope those contestants over there don't figure it out before the election, though.

BRAZILE: You said it. Let's get out of here, people! [EXEUNT ALL JUDGES.]

[LIGHTS OUT]

Wow! I am absolutely disgusted. Can you BELIEVE that a reputable magazine would put a picture this offensive on their cover?

What? You were expecting me to feel sorry for Barack Obama because the New Yorker, the FUCKING NEW YORKER, made fun of the rightwing's scaremongering about him on its cover?

FYI, Senator Obama, the New Yorker is part of the Liberal Media. In reality. The tiny, eeny weeny Liberal Media, which has very few members at this point, so you must be conversant with the three or four publications which belong to this nearly-microscopic organization.

Are you this dumb, or do you think we are? The New Yorker is laughing at people who think you and Michelle are terrorists, with a flag burning in your fireplace and a picture of Bin Laden on your mantle. They are making fun of the "politics of fear." Hey, guess what? The issue is called "The Politics of Fear!" Quelle coincidence!

Please don't pretend you didn't understand what this was about, Senator. That is simply not credible. Anyone with a functioning brain understood, and you surely possess one. And it's really getting quite tiresome and frustrating to see you fulfill every rightwing narrative about Democrats. Wimpy? You betcha. The attacks practically write themselves. If Obama can't face a magazine cover - a JOKING magazine cover - then how is he going to deal with terrorism? Is he really ready to answer the red phone? OMG What About The Children!!!111!!!!

It seems like Senator Obama's campaign has become addicted to the politics of distraction. He is not doing well against McCain in the national polls, had a much worse-than-projected fundraising month, and has been taking a lot of flak from his more liberal supporters on his vote on the FISA Amendment bill. So he has found something to be upset about - much in the same way that he found something to be upset about in Hillary's innocuous statement about RFK, just as the latest pastor disastor (Reverend Pfleger) was about to hit the media.

A word to the wise, Senator. Please stop with the faux-rage and fainting spells every time someone even mentions the fact that you are African American. A "historic" candidate who refuses to acknowledge why his candidacy is historic, yet plays the race card every single time any sort of bump arises in his campaign, is cynical in the extreme. A "new kind of politics" indeed - but one that will appeal less and less to a weary public exhausted by the constant cries of racism over nothing.

In the 2004 election, the Republicans were the ones who used wolves to try and scare people into voting for them. In the 2008 election, to our shame, the Democrats are the ones crying wolf.

I am now counting Craig Crawford as a PUMA, just because he tells the truth about Obama's presumptuous nominee status and how very shaky it is. (Yes, the truth is out there, but so few "journalists" see fit to write about it!)

With the dust settled on the primary season, one thing is clear: Obama is the presumed nominee thanks only to superdelegates. He never did win enough pledged delegates to reach the winning number, falling about 350 votes short. His expected victory stems from beating Clinton among superdelegates 463-257, according to a tally on Real Clear Politics.

All the more reason for Obama to make sure that there is no roll call including Clinton's name on the ballot at the national convention -- which a few die hard fans of the former First Lady are still clamoring for.

This is my only quibble with Crawford's otherwise excellent piece: to call millions of people "a few die hard fans" is award-worthy spin. Otherwise, it's a great point, and I don't think many people realize that Obama's DNC is trying to prevent Hillary from taking her rightful place on the ballot at the Convention. This would be ridiculous and completely against Democratic Party tradition and rules. THIS IS A TIE, FOLKS. I've been saying that since February. If there is a fair fight to break the tie at the Convention, and Obama wins anyway, then that will go a long way towards dispelling the illegitimacy that surrounds Obama's current status as presumptive nominee. Who knows, it might even give PUMAs a reason to vote for him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Crawford; please continue.

Why highlight just how close the Democratic contest really was? And there is certainly no gain for Obama in dwelling on how he had to depend on superdelegates to win the nomination. [emphasis mine]

Why no, Mr. Crawford, there isn't, especially when one remembers that until it was clear that Hillary was going to win the popular vote DESPITE the DNC's shenanigans in Florida and Michigan, Obama and his surrogates were all screaming about how the SuperDelegates should not decide the nomination and the "will of the people" should rule.

Remember this gem, during Obama's peak in February, from Donna Brazile, "uncommitted" superdelegate?

Democratic strategist Donna Brazile — who managed Al Gore's 2000 presidential campaign and is herself a superdelegate — says she will quit her position within the Democratic Party if her superdelegate colleagues decide the party's nomination.

[snip]

As Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama continue to run neck-and-neck in amassing the total delegates needed to win the nomination, some have suggested that the party's superdelegates — comprising party activists and high-ranking officials — could make the deciding vote.

But Brazile says the superdelegate vote "should reflect the will of the people."

Many millions of Hillary supporters have breathlessly awaited Brazile's resignation, to no avail. Oh, Donna, Donna, why do you disappoint us so? And as for the "will of the people," well, that meme has quietly disappeared too, considering that many of Obama's most powerful SuperD's would have to don their capes and fly on over to Hillary's side. Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Robert Byrd of West Virginia, all of the New York SD's...need I go on?

Doesn't matter, I will anyway. Let's see if I can find anything else from the Obama camp about how the superdelegates should vote as their districts voted. Be right back, or brb, as the kids say on their IM chatty thingies.

Aha! Here's a good one. Looks like Moveon.org, which threw its muscle behind Obama very early in the primaries, used its political power to pressure superdelegates to vote the way their districts voted. This was, again, during Obama's peak in February. The salient paragraph:

MoveOn.org and the Obama camp argue that the elected delegates should vote in line with the will of their constituents. Earlier this week, MoveOn sent a note out to its 3.2 million members asking them to sign a petition to that effect. It's the first time the public has lobbied superdelegates to a convention, says Larry Sabato, a political science professor at the University of Virginia. "The public has never had reason to lobby them before."

Good thing the Obamans can change their "principles" as quickly as chameleons change their colors.

Did I say "the Obamans?" My mistake. I should have said, "some Obama supporters." Because a new group of former Obama supporters has been created. They are mad as hell, and they won't vote for Obama any more. The site got more than 50,000 hits in the first 24 hours of its creation. Welcome, PUMA newbies!

If I were Democratic superdelegates, I'd be paying very, very close attention to PUMA. We are a true grassroots movement filled with internet-savvy, passionate activists from all sides of the political spectrum. And we have the money to help out our candidate when she is feeling "periodically down" because her campaign debt is being used as a blackmailing tool by the DNC.

So, Democratic Party Leaders, put your thinking caps on and find an excuse to nominate the winning candidate in August. In the end, self-interest may do the trick. Or do you really want to be on the Obama train when it crashes in November?

Great news!

I am honored to say that Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) has contacted me and asked me to interview her about her new book, "Rumors of Our Progress Have Been Greatly Exaggerated."

The book is a clear, information-packed, yet entertaining and uplifting look at how women are doing in our society. It also offers concrete action items what we can do as activists on both the micro and macro level in order to better the lives of women in America.

Ms. Maloney has penned an eye-opening must-read for men AND women, as the book is not a polemic, but a fact-based dissection of all the ways in which women still lag behind men in every measurable way: pay, vacation time, job opportunities, vulnerability to sexual harrassment and other abuses of power. All this, and I'm still reading the second chapter!

I have found throughout the primary season that most people don't seem to understand and accept the premise that there is still an enormous amount of institutionalized sexism in America. Reading this book will disabuse people of that notion in short order.

If feminism and gender equality interest you - and they'd damn well better! ;-) - then I'm sure you'll enjoy my upcoming interview with the fascinating, well-informed and tireless Congresswoman Maloney.

Now I hope you'll excuse me - I've got to get back to my reading.

On July 4th, I wrote a post about losing faith in the Democratic Brand. Today, I am explaining my strategic plans for saving it - and why they do not include voting for Barack Obama.

The DNC is currently bound and determined to nominate Obama for President. (I believe the fix has been in since 2004, personally.) They have allowed him to take over the DNC and move the headquarters to Chicago; they have allowed him to decide that Howard Dean gets to keep his job; and they've chosen a giant football stadium in which he is to accept his nomination on the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. They are backing their man, damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead.

There's only one problem: Obama does not appeal to the Democratic base. The working class, by and large - Latinos, whites, Asians and some African-Americans, all registered Democrats - did not support the Senator from Illinois in the primaries. And according to CNN, the number of Hillary's supporters who are saying they would support Obama if nominated is actually going down, while 43% of Democrats still say they would prefer her to be the nominee. This is all despite Hillary getting the worst press imaginable, her suspending her campaign and going on fundraising "Unity" missions with Obama, and her virtual absence from the spotlight for more than a month.

I will not elaborate on my incredible frustration with the Party for picking one of the worst candidates I have ever seen in my lifetime to go up against John McCain for the presidency. No, I will leave that to the eloquent and fantabulous riverdaughter. My purpose today is to go beyond the nomination and project forward into the possible presidencies of all three candidates: Clinton, Obama and McCain.

Honestly, I think that whomever wins in November will have an absolutely terrible first term. The economy is simply in free-fall. We are looking at stagflation and a looming Great Depression, in my opinion. Thanks to eight years of lawless, consequence-free behavior by the BFEE (Bush Family Evil Empire), our Constitution is disintegrating. The separation of powers, the laws of habeas corpus, the wall between church and state, the right to privacy and to free speech - all have been abridged or almost destroyed by BushCheney Inc. And let's not forget our seeming inability to do anything constructive regarding Iraq and Afghanistan. Thanks to the "surge," more troops are actually in Iraq than there were before the Democratic Congress was elected to bring them home. Heckuva job, Congresscritters! (Word is, thanks to Dennis Kucinich's persistence, Nancy Pelosi is now considering setting the table for impeachment. Wow, can you say too little, too late?)

The next President will have a lot of extremely difficult choices to make, and the chances are that when the country is not 100% fixed in four years, there will be a massive backlash against whomever that President will be. So, who do we want to suffer those consequences - Obama, McCain or Clinton? I believe it should be either McCain or Clinton, and here's why.

Trust me, I know McCain is just atrocious. I don't believe one word of his latest "I'm a moderate! Really really!" advertising. I think he will do nothing to remedy the effects of Bush's disastrous presidency. However, he clearly has no interest in running for a second term, so he will be free to be more independent than any other Republican nominee would be. I also believe that he can and will be constrained by a much larger majority in Congress, especially since some Republicans have started voting with Democrats on some issues. Thus, I believe his presidency would put the Congress back into a stronger place institutionally, and give them a chance to prove that they are truly interested in doing what's right for this country. (And if they don't, PUMA should make them. I will post more on what I think the future of PUMA should be at a later date.)

A McCain presidency might not be as bad as we think. It does depend on whom he picks as his VP, and whether or not that person would be a viable presidential candidate in 2012. And that brings me to my second possibility: an Obama presidency.

Unfortunately, I don't believe Obama would be a strong Democratic President. What we need now is someone who will absolutely repudiate the disastrous policies of George W. Bush. 80% of the country believes we are going in the wrong direction. Yet Obama's entire campaign is based on courting Republicans and Independents and "unifying" with them. Even worse, he agrees with some of the worst of the Deciderer's policies, as he has shown in the past two weeks. Warrantless wiretapping and telecom immunity? Just fine. Faith-based initiatives? Let's do more! And the war? Well, golly, he might need to refine that Iraq withdrawal policy just a wee bit. Even a veto-proof majority Democratic Congress just might be more likely to go along with this Republican bullshit if it's a Democratic President who wants it.

Muddling and confusion are NOT what the Democratic brand needs right now. The country has enormous problems. We need an FDR, and at best, Obama is a Carter. (At BEST. Unlike Carter, I don't think Obama has a prayer of being elected, but whatever.) Remember what happened after Carter was President for one term? Do the words "twelve years of Republican dominance" mean anything to you? Even worse, like Carter, Obama has shown no ability to beat back the Republican scream machine, so he will get blamed for the economy, the war and the energy crisis. And then where will the Democrats be? NOT in a position to win the White House in 2012 - not even if Hillary runs again. And that brings me to the best-case scenario: Hillary Clinton as President.

I think there's no doubt that if Hillary is our next President, she is also in for a horrible time. And how! Her Party will give her trouble because she will push for UHC, meaningful economic and social reform, major investments in infrastructure and the greening of energy sources...in other words, she'll make them do the hard work, and they don't want to! The press will be all over her and Bill, and despite her incredible competence and detailed plans for moving the country forward, I predict she won't be able to turn things completely around in just four years.

But guess what?

She can handle it.

That's really what it comes down to. You saw Hillary in those debates, where she was getting attacked from all sides, and she handled it. She's risen in popularity and strength despite the ugliest, nastiest attacks her own Party could throw at her. All she had to do was stop listening to Mark Penn and be herself. She handled it. She has withstood the barrage of insults, sexism and outright lies the media has perpetrated against her and emerged as a working-class hero. She handled it.

And in the end, should she prevail against The Fix and beat McCain in November, she will be able to persuade the American people to vote for her again, just like her husband did in 1996.

She will handle it.

And isn't that what we need to happen if we ever want to be a credible alternative to the Republicans again?

So don't tell me I have to vote for Obama. It's not going to happen. Because I'm thinking about the future of the country and the Party, and Obama would be bad for both.

He can't handle it.

Strategery. It's not just for Republicans any more.

PUMA!

THE SCENE: The bottom of a church basement, the place of many an AA meeting. Coffee cups, cigarette butts and cookie crumbs are strewn everywhere. A long cafeteria-style table is at the front of the room, with a podium next to it. Seated at the table are MARKOS MOULITSAS, CHRIS BOWERS, ARMANDO LLORENS (BIG TENT DEMOCRAT), JOHN ARAVOSIS, ANDREW SULLIVAN and ARIANNA HUFFINGTON. The boys all wear chinos and button-down shirts. KOS has an orange band around his head - almost like a crown. ARIANNA is wearing her traditional camisole-as-shirt and eyeing the men flirtatiously. SULLIVAN sports a snappy bowtie.

At the podium are the authors of the book, "He's Just Not That Into You," GREG BEHRENDT and LIZ TUCILLO. Throughout this whole play, GREG and LIZ speak to the bloggers in a typical motivational-speaker way - in other words, as if they are eight-year-old children.

Above the podium a sign reads, "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU." GREG and LIZ also have nametags on. LIZ bangs a gavel to bring the meeting to order.

LIZ (brightly): Hello, everyone! I'm Liz -

GREG: And I'm Greg -

TOGETHER: And welcome to, He's Just Not That Into You!

LIZ [sobering quickly]: Today, we're here to talk to you about Senator Barack Obama. You all supported him pretty strongly in the primaries, didn't you? [The bloggers all nod.] Now, why did you do that?

BTD: I didn't REALLY like him better. I just thought he was more electable than Hillary.

KOS: He wasn't Hillary! I hate that bitch! And besides, the Clinton Era is over. O-V-E-R!! The time of the blogger is NOW! We are crashing the gate! Obama is the progressive leader who will make our concerns his own. Power to the people!

ARAVOSIS and HUFFINGTON: Yeah! What he said!

SULLIVAN: I hate Hillary too, but Obama? He is Jesus and Elvis. He is the most historic, transformational -

GREG: Um, yes, we get it. Thank you, Andrew. Chris, what about you?

BOWERS: Obama is just like me! We drink the same beer PBR OMG OMG we go to Whole Foods!!! [becomes a little dizzy; ARIANNA solicitously pats his arm and offers him a drink of water]

LIZ: Whoa, take it easy there, Chris. I think we understand. Thanks, everyone, for your input. So, you guys all picked Obama as the nominee, and he won. Good for you!

[Everyone high-fives - HUFFINGTON leans forward, smiling and flashing her cleavage a bit.]

GREG: Yes, good for you. Now, let's talk about what's been happening lately. I heard he's been going back on his promises and has stopped returning your calls. No matter what you do, you can't seem to get his attention - and now he's done something that really hurts your feelings. He voted to legalize Bush's warrantless wiretapping and immunize the telecom companies from prosecution. Is that about on target?

BTD: Ha! Don't make me out to be like one of these losers. I always saw Obama clearly. Pols are pols. Either he was lying then or he's lying now, but no matter what, I'm going to vote for him because he's a Democrat.

SULLIVAN: Oh, the FISA thing is no big deal. What is starting to bother me is his personality. Maybe he's a little too full of himself lately. Still, there's no denying what a transformational moment his presidency would be!

BOWERS: Doo-bee-doo-bee-doo. Hey, look at this pretty electoral map I made!

KOS: I'm very fucking annoyed. Those ridiculous PUMAs will only feel vindicated now. Of course, everyone knows he will still be a great President, so it will all work out in the end.

HUFFINGTON: Well, I have nothing to say on the matter. I'd rather talk about Karl Rove!

ARAVOSIS: Barack who? It was the Senate that passed the FISA bill.

[LIZ and GREG look at each other, puzzled.]

LIZ: Gosh, folks, you don't seem to be getting what I'm saying here. Barack Obama promised to filibuster the FISA amendment bill if it contained telecom immunity. This was very important to all of you. You thought it made him special and progressive and unique. Then, he went back on his promise. Worse than that, Hillary Clinton kept her promise and voted against telecom immunity, so it looks like maybe you were wrong to hate her so. Meanwhile, Senator Obama has been "refining" more positions lately - including pretending he did not promise to immediately withdraw troops from Iraq and have everyone home in 16 months - but he says he will, right on his website!

Don't you feel betrayed, like Joan Walsh? Don't you feel like maybe, just maybe, he's not that into you?

[All the bloggers squirm in their seats and are silent. Finally KOS takes the lead.]

KOS [standing]: Jesus Christ. I don't have to take this crap. Obama's my guy and I'm sticking by him.

BOWERS: [standing] Me too. And he loves me, he really does. I know it in my heart! He'll come back to me after he's President.

BTD [standing, disgusted]: Ahhhh, this New Age crap is for the birds. Obama's a Democrat and that's all I care about. I'm outta here.

ARAVOSIS: [standing] McCain sucks. Obama forever!

HUFFINGTON: [standing] Well I, personally, have no problems with what Obama did on FISA. He's just pandering to get elected. I AM the one I've been waiting for. Good-bye! [they are all leaving]

SULLIVAN: [standing] Well, I personally think Obama's just fine, as long as he doesn't get too big a head. I don't even know what I'm doing here. Later! [he follows the others out the door]

[LIZ and GREG look at each other in astonishment. Their cheery personas fall away and they become matter-of-fact. They shrug, then get to work cleaning up the coffee cups.]

LIZ: Worst case of denial I ever saw.

GREG: You said it, sister.

[LIGHTS OUT]